marmite
03-08-2013, 03:21 PM
Hi guys,
In 2011 I wrote a post about my partner who was (at the time) struggling with anxiety, but refusing help/treatment. After 2 years together, I recently ended our relationship. I felt that she was unable to give me the emotional space/independence that I needed, and I was unable to provide her with as much attention/affection/reassurance as she needed. This resulted in never ending arguments and long-term hostility. Neither one of us was getting what we needed or wanted, and we were both very unhappy.
We have now been separated for about 3 weeks. I am living about 5 minutes away from her, while continuing to pay rent at our old place and buying food and litter for our cats. I am doing my best to make sure that she has the support that she needs, and to let her know that I love and care her enormously regardless of the fact that our relationship didn't work. Some days she seems fine, however some days she sounds close to suicidal (she has threatened in the past to kill herself if I ever left her) and complains about being alone and unloved and worthless.
I guess I am just wondering whether there is anyone on this forum who is able to offer me some advice from my ex's perspective, as to how to best care for her during this time. She is not close to her family, and has some close-ish friends, but no one (apart from me) who is close enough to know what she's going through and be continuously available. She has started psychotherapy again, fortunately, and is now on anxiety meds, so there is SOME support.
Any thoughts would be very much appreciated. Thanks in advance.
In 2011 I wrote a post about my partner who was (at the time) struggling with anxiety, but refusing help/treatment. After 2 years together, I recently ended our relationship. I felt that she was unable to give me the emotional space/independence that I needed, and I was unable to provide her with as much attention/affection/reassurance as she needed. This resulted in never ending arguments and long-term hostility. Neither one of us was getting what we needed or wanted, and we were both very unhappy.
We have now been separated for about 3 weeks. I am living about 5 minutes away from her, while continuing to pay rent at our old place and buying food and litter for our cats. I am doing my best to make sure that she has the support that she needs, and to let her know that I love and care her enormously regardless of the fact that our relationship didn't work. Some days she seems fine, however some days she sounds close to suicidal (she has threatened in the past to kill herself if I ever left her) and complains about being alone and unloved and worthless.
I guess I am just wondering whether there is anyone on this forum who is able to offer me some advice from my ex's perspective, as to how to best care for her during this time. She is not close to her family, and has some close-ish friends, but no one (apart from me) who is close enough to know what she's going through and be continuously available. She has started psychotherapy again, fortunately, and is now on anxiety meds, so there is SOME support.
Any thoughts would be very much appreciated. Thanks in advance.