Please help

[parisorsteph]

I have had anxiety/panic attacks all my life and it was really bad after I graduated high school in 2000 and slowly started to get better in 2006. I was doing awesome in 2008-2010 and in 2009 I flew on a plane for the first time 🙏 but since 20010 I have continued to decrease in mental health and my anxiety and panic attacks have gotten so bad. Worse then try ever were before. I live in an apartment on 1 side of town where I've lived for 2 years now but for some reason I hate being home now, so I stay with my mom on the other side of town and I fear driving home. I hate going home but my boyfriend lives out by me and I worry me not being around much is destroying our relationship 😢 I am having a ton of anxiety today because I am suppose to go home but I don't want to, I'm afraid to. Last week I had to push myself to go home for 24 hours and had anxiety the whole drive home and almost the whole time I was at home. I have had to increase my medication from 20 mg of Prozac to 60mg. I haven't noticed too much of a difference because the anxiety is so intense which then causes me to have severe depression. All my anxiety is based around emetophobia a fear of vomiting. I hadn't been sick in 17yrs until dec 2011 when I got sick from Jamba Juice and I was driving and stuck in traffic but luckily I was able to make it to a gas station where I called 911 because the panic was so bad and I had gotten sick which I am so completely terrified of so ever since then my anxiety and panic has increased to levels I never ha before and I think I relate anxiety/panic with getting sick so now any time I have any anxiety I relate it to the day I got sick and I assume it will happen again. I need some major help I see a Phychiatrist as well as a psychologist but I don't know what else to do I also take Ativan for the panic attacks but I don't want to rely in meds. I want to be better but it's so hard to face a fear that is inside of you that everyday you face when you eat. I've lost weight because I haven't been eating good or eating hardly at all... Is there anyone else out there that suffers emetophobia? If so what has helped you?
Thanks
Steph