Bad news

[manz82]

My husband and I got some really bad news today - his mum is in Tunisia on holiday and she has suffered a massive stroke and is in intensive care. My husband is in pieces and so am I, but I've also realised today that anxiety has made me a very selfish person.... Because as soon as I heard the news, my heart pounded, my head went buzzy and straight away I thought of myself- 'oh God, why am I feeling this way? Am I having a panic attack? Why do I feel detached? Am I dying?'
My poor mother-in-law is in a strange country and could be dying for all I know and I am thinking of myself? Am I that sick in the head???!!!
I need advice my friends, because to be quite blunt, I feel like the worst excuse for a human being at this moment in time.

[trinidiva]

I think that a lot of us with panic disorder don't handle hearing bad news well. I am so sorry to hear about your mother in law, and I hope she is able to recover fully. I don't think you were being selfish, I think the news just triggered a panic attack. I do not know of anyone that can keep a level head once a panic attack begins.

[weary]

My husband and I got some really bad news today - his mum is in Tunisia on holiday and she has suffered a massive stroke and is in intensive care. My husband is in pieces and so am I, but I've also realised today that anxiety has made me a very selfish person.... Because as soon as I heard the news, my heart pounded, my head went buzzy and straight away I thought of myself- 'oh God, why am I feeling this way? Am I having a panic attack? Why do I feel detached? Am I dying?'
My poor mother-in-law is in a strange country and could be dying for all I know and I am thinking of myself? Am I that sick in the head???!!!
I need advice my friends, because to be quite blunt, I feel like the worst excuse for a human being at this moment in time.

I am so sorry Manz82 I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers I think Trinidiva said it best when ever we hear bad news it is almost instant to think and feel what you are feeling because its just what we are used to.you have to try to retire what you are feeling tell yourself you will be ok but what can we do to help my mother in law. I know easier said then done. And it's hard to explain I have gad and health anxiety but when I get bad news I just ask where do I need to go or what needs to be done. I have become almost numb to the feelings. Kind of sad. Please try to keep an open mind and keep reminding yourself you will be ok

[manz82]

Thanks for the replies. It's strange to think that pre-anxiety days I would have undoubtably felt fear but never questioned it too deeply because it was an emotion just like any other emotion, but now I shy away from anything that will upset or frighten me. I know I have to keep telling myself to stop overthinking the way I feel but I've never been good at handling sickness and mortality. It's too deep for me to cope with. This time I know I have to for my husbands sake and I am going to try my best. This life game sucks sometimes!

[weary]

Thanks for the replies. It's strange to think that pre-anxiety days I would have undoubtably felt fear but never questioned it too deeply because it was an emotion just like any other emotion, but now I shy away from anything that will upset or frighten me. I know I have to keep telling myself to stop overthinking the way I feel but I've never been good at handling sickness and mortality. It's too deep for me to cope with. This time I know I have to for my husbands sake and I am going to try my best. This life game sucks sometimes!

Manz82- you could not be more right you have to be strong for your husband that is the most important while I fear dying that is my biggest trigger point but I have been around it so much again I numb to it but yet fear it at the same time if that makes any sense ... My great grandma died holding my hand when I was just 15 I have had several close friends take their own lives, my grandma died holding my had as did my husbands aunt it is the hardest feelings to get through for sure. Keep me updated on how you are doing and your husband praying for you all

[PanicCured]

One of the best modes of recovery from a stroke is acupuncture. In China, everyone knows after a stroke to go get acupuncture and they may do it from 2 days a week to every day. The sooner after the stroke they get it the better. I'm just putting it out there. Do what you want with it.

[j2005]

Those are normal feelings and sensations did you know that? But, after becoming aware of the physical sensations your awareness turned into fear. To break the cycle you must accept the sensations, observe them, but not react to them. welcome them.

Then they'll not become panic nor another vicious cycle of anxiety.

Practice this and you'll be on the road to recovery.

James

[anxiousmal]

Sorry to hear what your going through. It's tough, but you can deal with it. I'd be there for your husband and concentrate on what you need to do to get stuff sorted. You just need to be brave.

And you definitely are not selfish.

[manz82]

Thank you all for your kind replies. Unfortunately my mother-in-law passed away this morning. I have taken your advice and am being strong for my husband and trying not to pay attention to the spikes of panic and dizziness that keep gripping me. I keep telling myself that I'm bound to feel this way, I was very close to her. She was a dear, dear lady and I will miss her immensely. X

[weary]

Manz82 I am so sorry for your loss my thoughts are with you and your entire family. Try to stay positive and strong for your husband and focus on the wonderful memories you have with your mother in law. May she be at peace. Bless you all

[trinidiva]

Thank you all for your kind replies. Unfortunately my mother-in-law passed away this morning. I have taken your advice and am being strong for my husband and trying not to pay attention to the spikes of panic and dizziness that keep gripping me. I keep telling myself that I'm bound to feel this way, I was very close to her. She was a dear, dear lady and I will miss her immensely. X

I am so very sorry about your ( and your husband's) loss. I'm not sure if you guys are religious, but I will say a prayer for you guys, for strength and peace during this difficult time.

[omoplata]

Sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

[FordingTheWaters]

My husband and I got some really bad news today - his mum is in Tunisia on holiday and she has suffered a massive stroke and is in intensive care. My husband is in pieces and so am I, but I've also realised today that anxiety has made me a very selfish person.... Because as soon as I heard the news, my heart pounded, my head went buzzy and straight away I thought of myself- 'oh God, why am I feeling this way? Am I having a panic attack? Why do I feel detached? Am I dying?'
My poor mother-in-law is in a strange country and could be dying for all I know and I am thinking of myself? Am I that sick in the head???!!!
I need advice my friends, because to be quite blunt, I feel like the worst excuse for a human being at this moment in time.

I don't think you're selfish at all. I know that you in fact care about what is going on; you're concerned because you just got very distressing news and that's sending your anxiety through the roof. Everyone here knows how that can easily happen.

Be there for your husband and his family. He will understand if you lend him your support to the best of your ability. I said YOUR ability because he knows you care, even if you may feel sometimes like you don't.

Good luck, and God Bless.

[myrottndog]

So very sorry for your loss. You are not selfish...it's the illness talking. My first thought would have been OMG! Do I have to travel? And guilt that I wasn't focused on my husband. It's now how you would choose to be. Your body has tricked you into thinking you have your own life or death emergency. Be kind to yourself.