Greetings! What a relief to find this forum!

[Passionista]

Hello all!

I just did an internet search for "anxiety forum" and found this site, much to my delight.

I was in bed, fixating on an insect bite on my neck (they ALWAYS bite my neck!!! :evil: :unsure: ) and trying not to worry about having allergic reactions, intending to be sure I didn't have a panic attack, breathing deeply and resisting the urge to keep searching for insect bite photos online when I decided that I needed to try and find a different thing to focus on.

So, here I am. ;)

I have suffered with anxiety for most of my life. I have had many injuries, endured abuse as a child and young adult and been hospitalized for severe car accidents in the past. The end result? I fixate on all things physical, strange diseases and health issues and obsess a bit. It doesn't help that I am a Nursing student, I suppose! :lol:

I have some valid physical concerns (Lyme disease, fibromyalgia, migraines, insomnia, ovarian cysts, multiple bone breaks and dislocations, dental issues, a heart murmur and the like) and I think that these things combined with the abuse I experienced in the past created the situation for me to fixate on my body and health.

I am usually anxious.I take no meds on a regular basis but have the Ativan on hand to intercept the wacky signals when my hyper vigilance bleeds over into an acute panic attack. I have only taken it 3 times in as many months because I fear taking it. I am too anxious to take my anxiety medication, as a matter of fact! Oh, that is so sad!!! It's just Ativan too, 1 mg.

I am sick of feeling like a prisoner of my fears. I am a great student (A's in 98% of the time), a creative, intelligent, loving person but I constantly fear I am going to die.

I don't want to pass these fears on to my 14 year old daughter. I have a wonderful man who loves me and I don't want to stress him out with my constant anxiety. This sucks and no one in my day to day life relates. Does anyone here relate to me?

I hope that I can learn, share, get support and support others here. :oops:

[imported_admin]

Hi Passionista,

welcome to the forum! Your story sounds all too familiar. I just want to quickly tell you about my experience which may be of some help to you. Like you, I was always thinking I was dying. Diagnosing myself with diseases which I simply did not have. I would feel a pain in my chest, or get a headache and instantly diagnose my self with a brain tumour. Horrible way to live. Anyway, after seeing different psycologists and doctors, nothing seemed to really help until my doctor put me on an anti-depressant called lexapro. Even though i don't suffer bad depression, lexapro aparently works with anxiety too. I have been on it for about 6 months now, and I must say i feel like a different person. I rarely ever think about dying now, and even more weird, I can look back on my old thoughts and see how silly I was. Even better, I do not have any side effects at all. I really do recommend giving the meds a try. I know you focus on the side effects, but living each day thinking you are dying is no way to live.