Break up

[amy09]

I am so depressed :( just found out my bf has been cheating on me and we ended things. My anxiety is flaring up and I am freaking out! I'm the type of girl who always needs a guy ( I know that makes me sound bad but it's true) I feel like when I'm single I don't enjoy life. As wrong as that statement seems, I want to desperately love my life just by myself. You can't be happy in an relationship if your not happy with yourself. I Love this saying and its do freaking true. The sad thing I am such a busy person, I go to college, tutor two kids and have an internship yet Im still not happy! My ultimate goal is to get into pharmacy school next summer and become a pharmacist, But now I feel like my priority is to get him back. Why am I so screwed up? The guy obviously cheated on me, he shouldn't be worth my time?! Why is this so complicated?

[trinidiva]

Hey Amy!!! I wondered what happened to you, I remember you talking about your bf before.
It's hard, but you kind of SHOULD experience what it is like to be happy on your own for a bit and focus on you and your goals....not saying that you should remain single for a long time, but I guess just to realize that your happiness isn't dependant on you being in a relationship. I had a friend who felt the same way, she was NEVER single, always went from one relationship to the next, but dealt with alot of BS from guys. Since I've known her, she has been married twice, and has been in failed relationships back to back.
I know you like this guy, but honestly, he sounds like he has some growing up to do, he is the one who cheated on you, not the other way around.

[kbuzz1]

Once a cheater, always a cheater. Think about how crappy you feel right now, and know that he'll most likely do it again especially if you take him back. You'll find the right guy to enjoy life with, don't get stuck on one that makes you miserable.

[amy09]

Hey girl! Omg am I glad to hear from you. I don't want him back well i don't think I do. I'm so frustrated you know? Like I have all these good things going for me yet I'm in bed dwelling on the past! I know it's ok to cry and let it out of my system so I'm giving myself a little time just wallow over. I don't want to be the girl who chases guys or change myself to keep a guy. I want to be myself and I never had a chance to do that. My life goal shouldn't be finding a guy and being his wife, I should do things that I want to do and for the past year and a half I was being someone who I was not. I had to change just to satisfy him. I'm a real bubbly optimistic hyper girl who likes trying new things and going out so him changing me into someone I'm not really hurt my confidence. I'm scared to be hyper and bubbly because that shows immaturity, I don't want to be optimistic because that shows I'm not realistic. I shouldn't be going out because I'm wasting money etc... I am perfectly happy staying home studying and watching tv. I am 22 years old, I know i don't have a life because of college and my internship but I think it's ok for me to go out time to time right? He was nothing but a huge let down on my confidence. I need to get it back. :(

[Hidalgo21]

Heyy sorry to hear that , whenever you meet up with a new guy, that you really like, don't rush to much to get him , take your time even if inside you want to kiss him so bad , get to know him first , in all type of aspects , see if he really wants to be with you, even if the guy is the cutest take your time cause sometimes they only want something else you get me , and also when you meet up that guy take your time to do stuff you know what i mean lol , trust me first see if you guys love each other with out doing anything , cause there's some guys that after has having sex with the girl he gets bored or start disrispacting you , so take your time next time y, there are many guys out there no one is perfect but you can find someone that makes you happy :-)

[trinidiva]

Hey girl! Omg am I glad to hear from you. I don't want him back well i don't think I do. I'm so frustrated you know? Like I have all these good things going for me yet I'm in bed dwelling on the past! I know it's ok to cry and let it out of my system so I'm giving myself a little time just wallow over. I don't want to be the girl who chases guys or change myself to keep a guy. I want to be myself and I never had a chance to do that. My life goal shouldn't be finding a guy and being his wife, I should do things that I want to do and for the past year and a half I was being someone who I was not. I had to change just to satisfy him. I'm a real bubbly optimistic hyper girl who likes trying new things and going out so him changing me into someone I'm not really hurt my confidence. I'm scared to be hyper and bubbly because that shows immaturity, I don't want to be optimistic because that shows I'm not realistic. I shouldn't be going out because I'm wasting money etc... I am perfectly happy staying home studying and watching tv. I am 22 years old, I know i don't have a life because of college and my internship but I think it's ok for me to go out time to time right? He was nothing but a huge let down on my confidence. I need to get it back. :(

Hey Amy! It's ok to cry about it.....I think we get used to having certain people in our life, and its hard to let go of certain things, whether they are healthy for us or not.
You should definitely take some time and enjoy yourself. If you are naturally bubbly, BE who you are!!!! Don't try to conform to what others think you should be....you will meet someone who appreciates you for exactly who you are. Until then, enjoy yourself, focus on your goals, be a little selfish in that respect.

[amy09]

Thanks all of y'all! I'm sorry for posting such a dumb topic on this anxiety forum because I know a lot of people are going through worse things. This break up is for the best and I will be ok. I have to keep telling myself that. At least I know that I don't want a guy like him. Relationships to me are not a waste of time because it can help in both ways, either you want someone like that or you want nothing like that person. It's a struggle for me because eventhough I know all this, I still want him. It's like he is a drug to me, no matter how bad I know he is I still want him? Why is that? Why is my head so stupid? Anyways I seriously appreciate you guys commenting on this :) y'all are awesome and it's time for me to be myself! Bubbly little grl! :)