I'm so frustrated , i'm pushing away my family :-(

[jessy]

I don't know what the hell to do anymore :(

I am so full of frustration & anger , for no reason at all .
It is making me hate myself so much , my husband & kids must hate me . I've totally lost it with them the past few days & they must think I'm such a Nasty person .

Of course I'm left now feeling so terribly guilty & ashamed of myself .

I do not know why I do this ????

Has anyone got a similar problem or any advice to help me

Jessy x

[jessy]

Guess not !!

Lol

[cyncyn]

Jessy,

I know how you feel, sometimes I have such self loathing that I can't imagine anyone loving me. It drives my husband crazy. I guess my problem stems from being disappointed in myself due to my agoraphobia & how it limits what I can do. I also think its from being picked on so much as a child. Not sure how to fix this, I have counselor I see. Check out EFT therapy that's helped too, some videos on YouTube. Best wishes

Cyn

[jessy]

Hi & thanks for your reply . I'm having a really hard time at the moment with my anxiety & feeling very depressed .

I can't seem to get a hold on it , I'm on my own a lot which doesn't help .

I can't stop the feelings & I'm feeling so low & so alone .

I'd give anything to feel better x

[cyncyn]

Jessy,

Sorry to hear that your having a hard time. When I was anxious & depressed I would find something to distract myself. I'd have the cleanest house ever LOL I know there are schools of thought that would say this isn't a good coping skill, distraction that is. I did whatever I needed to do to take care of me, whether that meant soaking in the tub, calling a family member, listening to a podcast ( anxiety guru was a good one) I know it might not feel like it now, but it does get better:) Me personally I prayed a lot, cried a lot but gradually things improved. I wish you all the best :)

[jessy]

Thank you CynCyn

I am crying a lot & praying a lot , I've been this bad for about 5 weeks now .

I know it will pass eventually , it's very distressing though & hard to keep going .

I'll get there eventually :-)

[cyncyn]

Jessy,

Is there a hobby you like or able to do? I ask because I'm very blessed that before I got bad again I found a lady who gives riding lessons really affordable. I used to ride 20 years ago and decided to quit smoking and do something for myself. It's one hour a week where I don't have to think about my problems, and for me being around horses relaxes me. My husband noticed how much happier I was that he wouldn't let me stop when money was tight. I'm not saying to take up riding but some type of physical activity or hobby that makes you feel good about yourself helps:) and go figure I fell off two weeks ago practicing a jump for an upcoming schooling show this weekend and got back on even though I was sore & embarrassed but I'm terrified of driving 1 mile away from home to start my new job! Anxiety doesn't make any sense!

[jessy]

He's i got into exercise & joined a gym , but I've been so so bad of late that I can't get myself to the gym . I want to but panic takes over & I can't move . Also I'm so drained & fatigued , it's all I can do to put one foot infront of the other .

I have 2 children & my husband works long hours . I'm always alone , and I know this doesn't help , but I have no one to turn to .

I've no idea why I have gotten so bad , it was a big shock , as I was doing so well :-(

[cyncyn]

See if your library has a copy of Claire Weekes' Freedom from Nervous Suffering on CD. I burned a copy and have it on my iPhone & iPod to listen to when things are bad, it works.

[jessy]

CynCyn

Thank you , I actually have a copy of the first book she wrote
"Hope & Help for your Nerves" , my mum passed it on to me a couple of years ago & you are right it is a big help . I've not picked it up for over 9 months .
I've got to get the C.D , I think actually listening to it will make a big difference

Thank you :-)

[cyncyn]

Your very welcome, sending happy thoughts :)

[kimsmith5607]

I don't know what the hell to do anymore :(

I am so full of frustration & anger , for no reason at all .
It is making me hate myself so much , my husband & kids must hate me . I've totally lost it with them the past few days & they must think I'm such a Nasty person .

Of course I'm left now feeling so terribly guilty & ashamed of myself .

I do not know why I do this ????

Has anyone got a similar problem or any advice to help me

Jessy x

Jessy your frustration and behavior tends to the sign of depression. You are depressed; you have talk to your best friend about it. Share your emotions with them or with us. My friend was also face a condition like you. He used supplements for battle with it and he get better result with the help of it. If you want I can give you more help for it.

[stellab]

Hi, Jessy! Boy, can I relate to what you're going through! I'm not a mom, but I experience the exact same "Why am I so moody/irritable/cranky/rude/sad/tired/listless/hopeless?" feelings. The cycle of depression/anxiety is VICIOUS! I, too, have a gym membership that has fallen by the wayside in the past few months...I feel great when I go, then I slip out of the habit, hate myself for it, tell myself I'm a lazy turd, blah blah blah...then the guilt/shame sets in: "Why can't I just do one simple thing???" So many negative thoughts race through the brain, in the end it just makes you feel like garbage, I completely understand!
Unfortunately, I have no answers. Do you have anyone you can talk to about this? Sometimes it's difficult expressing depression to a spouse who has no idea what it feels like...do you see a counselor? I'm not a big believer in meds (that's just personally...many people successfully use antidepressants), but I do believe in the powers of an objective person giving you an unfettered hour per week to listen and help suss out your feelings. Good counselors can help you figure out tools to handle your emotions...though, in my experience, it's no cure-all for the horrible down days, but it at least helps you realize you do have some power over your perspective. I hope your situation continues to improve! Keep expressing yourself in this forum to help get those emotions out!

[jessy]

Hi thanks for the reply . It helps to know I'm not alone in this .
I don't really have any close friends .
I have my family & children .
I'm trying to control it the best I can . It's hard .
This forum is a great help

Xxx