Dont have the strength

[Tay]

Hi I've suffered from an anxiety, panic attacks, Depression and agarophobia since I was 18. I'm now 33.
I was really struggling then I met my fiancé (who's now my ex) I felt so relaxed with him and he really understood and helped me. I was really improving and starting to have a normal life and felt relaxed and happy about my future with him because I knew I would be safe with him and he would look after me.
Then 9 months he broke my heart and left me for someone else, I thought I was going to die and I hit rock bottom, I've never been so broken hearted. I cried everyday for 4 months solid and I really thought I wasn't going to come back from it but I've managed to pull myself through it where he is concerned, I hate him and I know I don't need him.
I feel I've gone backwards in my recovery tho and I'm so depressed I just want to be left alone all the time and I feel so tired every day.
I have an appointment to see my doctor next week for meds and therapy which are long overdue.
I'm just so exhausted, these last 9 months have nearly killed me and I just don't know if I have the energy to start therapy and try to recover from this. I just want to sleep all day.

[weary]

Tay- one day at a time the first step you have have done which is forgetting about him. While I think you loved him if you were gonna marry him. I think you should consider going for therapy and this is why if he could make you feel normal and safe you know that you can do this, but what you need to remember is we don't need anyone to make us feel better or safe on we can make ourselves feel better so therapy would help put you back on the right track. This forum has been the best choice I ,axe in 8 yrs of suffering. We are all here together to support and understand . I hope you find peace and find the strength to continue to take positive steps forward

[peaceandlove]

please hang in there. have faith