Anger

[Lin]

How do other people stop getting so angry when depressed?

[foofoonurse]

I use diversion. Kinda give myself a timeout. I'll remove myself from the situation and engage in something I enjoy. It keeps my mind occupied during that anger fit. Once I'm relaxed, ill express how I feel about the situation that made me angry.

[Lin]

Thanks I need to give myself time out before I respond so nasty - it is learning to give myself time to think rather than react which is so difficult.

[foofoonurse]

Think about what triggers your anger. That's a good way to avoid or deal with it before it comes up.

[Lin]

Thank you - will consider triggers so can give myself time to get space.

[jessy]

I can't be of help , I'm searching for the answer as to why I get so angry :( I hate it !!

[Lin]

I have been trying meditation but find my anger is so irrational and boils up so quickly I can't stop just lashing out. Surprised I still have a husband, not sure I could put up with me!

[abartlett331]

Anger is something that can be controlled, even though for some it may seem impossible. If you find yourself constantly being angry, you should take long walks, go for a jog, engage in sports like martial arts, basketball and so on. Feeling angry conflicts with rationality. Whenever you feel like you are about to explode, you must stop and rationalize. Ask yourself if the anger you're feeling will help make the situation worse or better. Life is much easier to live when we control our anger and learn to brush things off. Again it may be hard, but it's not impossible. This is really the only option you have. No one can control how you feel and act but you.

[jamus75]

Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. ~~~~Yoda....

Sorry. Couldn't resist.

[Lin]

All sounds right and just have to learn but sometimes hormone led anger is very difficult to control. Help me ladies out there - who else suffers from this side of being a woman?

[Goldstone]

Don't know if this is of any use but I get angry to. I can be quite controlled but I often snap and I don't know I am doing it. I do find one thing that really calms me though. It boils down to having time out for yourself. The importance of time for yourself can't be under estimated. I do this a few different ways but after recently getting a family puppy added to the house, I found that taking him for walks across our local hills did me the world of good. I took my time too. On the walk I did something I enjoy as well, taking photos, I would then edit them later and add them to a photography app through my iPhone. It gives you a chance to view the world through your own eyes and own thoughts, when I get home I feel just a little refreshed and happier.

If you can do anything remotely like this then it i am sure it can help.

Clearly I can't help with the female hormone side of things, that's just a little off my pay grade..lol.

Hope it sparks some useful thoughts at least.

[Lin]

Thank you it does help. I used to get out of the house when felt temper coming, but since last 9 months had bad knees so been unable to walk. Had one operated on and getting other one next week, so once they are fit again, I will use walks as a technique. Haven't got a dog or good at photos, but been on a mindfulness course so learning about noticing surroundings more - so that should help more in future.

[Goldstone]

That course will help. And good look for your recovery from those operations.

As for the photo idea. You don't always have to be good at photography these days. I use my iPhone and basic editing software that was free to download. I don't use the PC even for this kind of stuff. All you need is a little imagination with how your taking the photo (angle etc...) and click away. The satisfaction you get from the results is quite impressive.

Onwards and upwards.

[Lin]

Sounds like I should try the photos at least it would start me noticing good things, thanks.

[kimsmith5607]

I don't know the exact solution for stop anger in depression. I'll search on this topic and come back with information. But these all discussions are useful. I adore to read this post. I can say: If you feelings of anger and depression constant in daily life then you can have a negative effect on overall health. Anyone who experiences anger and depression should contact a physician immediately for the appropriate treatment.

[Axe7]

If at work, try to avoid the triggers. If there is someone who baits you, just don't say much when they are around. The trick is doing it with a smile and not like you're acting immature. If you write an email where you are obviously not in a good mood and the tone is blistering, simply leave it open for 30 minutes. I find that 8 out of 10 times I won't send it. Reserving those 1 or 2 times for the deserved instances. Also the power of counting to ten or twenty as you feel your blood boil. I'll find that the urge to retaliate leaves in a short time frame. When people are having conversations and baiting you into them. For instance I'm way too political than I need to be, and sometimes people mess with me by making comments. Most of the time their side conversation is all in fun and good natured, but a few people at work talk louder and more passionate about something knowing I will bite on it. For those people and situations the answer is 5 minutes. If you still wanna stand up and interject your opinion or retalitatory response after 5 minutes, chances are it's meaningful so do it. In most cases you'll find not only do you not say anything, you'll start to notice how happy you are with yourself for avoiding it instead of the usual guilt and anger towards ourselves that we feel in the moments following a loss of temper.

[Lin]

Worried that at times I am getting really paranoid that people not like me. At work I get upset and cry rather than angry. I usually go to the toilet and cry or find a friend. It is at home I get really angry and nasty and my husband gets it all. Pressure at work is really hard - work and too much - and trying to act normal all day so people think my head is ok now and treat me normally. Also got new boss because old one retired, so trying to prove to new one can do the job which is pressure.

[jbevis]

I have been trying meditation but find my anger is so irrational and boils up so quickly I can't stop just lashing out. Surprised I still have a husband, not sure I could put up with me!

Me too! My husband has been an amazing support for me (thankfully) even though I've been having wild mood swings. Anxious, then depressed, then angry, back to anxious and panicky, all in the space of a day. It helps that he had suffered from anxiety in the past though. I guess I'm lucky in some ways...

[Lin]

I find my head now can go a few days and I think great the medication is working and I am getting better, and then sometimes for no reason at all my head totally flips and I shout and scream at my husband. If head goes wrong at work and i can't let it out, except cry in the toilets, it all builds up during the evening. It feels like my head is going to explode.

[alankay]

It's a result of irritability and I just try to be super aware of it and for me, a morning thing, so just hold on until later when I feel more "positive". Alankay

[Lin]

Mine seems to explode at any time of day and if i don't stop it quickly with distractions taught I just get terrible and nasty. Know I am doing it but irrational and can't stop.

[jessy]

Anger is the worst part of depression & anxiety for me & I have not yet found a way to control it .

It's tearing my life apart & my relationship with my husband & children .

It makes me hate myself , it's not me .
It's a vicious cycle

[Lin]

I know what you mean. I have learned so many techniques to control my temper or bring upset but just can't stand back and use them, I just scream and shout straightaway.

In June/July going on a NHS emotion management course - it is supposed to teach you how stand back and use techniques so don't scream and shout. Hoping it works - my temper nearly ruined my son's graduation day last week!

Lin x

[mid]

Wow. The descriptions here fit what was happening to me to a "T". The one thing about anger is when it's like the pressure coming off a shaken carbonated beverage container, it explodes, leaves a sticky mess, and cleaning it up takes longer than it did to release. One of the first things I had to do was breathe through my nostril to slow down the normal process of exploding through my mouth. I picture it as flames coming from the throat (which is how my throat feels afterwards, like it's on fire). It cools down going through my nostril.
Then, that step back, stand back, pause moment happens. It turns from flames to warm snuggle gentle sensation, which then gives me the option of being kind to myself immediately, and this helps the response to be more normal. I hope this description helps someone to have a calm sensation to stop the flame rage or whatever you want to call it.