brickyard_red
09-15-2005, 09:43 AM
Im not sure if this should be in here or in the depression section, so I will put it here for now and if it's in the wrong spot you can move it, k?
I really hate it when I start to fall into depression. It consumes my whole life and puts a dark cloud or covering over everything. But, it's not just the depression, it's the anxiety that goes along with it too. When I start to feel this way I get more anxious about everything that I usually am. Which really stinks.
I'm not real good at getting my thoughts in order when I feel like this so if this doesn't make sense I apologize. My husband works for a bank in the insurance department. Lately he has been having to stay late for dinners for clients and that usually doesn't bother me. But when I start to feel like this I begin to wonder if he isn't having an affair. I know this is an irrational feeling I'm having because of the way I'm feeling right now, but I can't stop it.
And the more I think about it the worse I feel about it. I sit around and cry, which makes me angry because I hate to cry. And then that makes me me afraid to go out of the house because I'm afraid of how I'm going to react to certain things while I"m out feeling this way.
I love my husband very much and I know he loves me, so why do I have these thoughts? It drives me crazy! And when I am like this I get angry so easy over NOTHING! And when it's happening I know that there is no reason why I should be getting so angry but I can't help it. It's like this rage builds up inside me and I just want to explode. When this happens I usually go and walk real fast on my tredmill until I can't barely stand up anymore and that usually helps me feel better, but I wish I didn't feel this way in the first place!
I guess the good part out of all this is when I feel in the pits like this, I clean. I am a perfectionist and when I clean I CLEAN. So, my house gets a good make over and things get put away they way they are supposed to and where they are supposed to. :roll:
Well, I have to say that just writing this out has helped me feel a little bit better. When it's all up in my head it feels like it is going to consume me, but when it is written down it doesn't look like all that much. Thank you for taking the time to read this and thank you for developing this site where I can come and know that I will be around others with the same problems I face and have the same feelings I have from time to time. :)
Cath
I really hate it when I start to fall into depression. It consumes my whole life and puts a dark cloud or covering over everything. But, it's not just the depression, it's the anxiety that goes along with it too. When I start to feel this way I get more anxious about everything that I usually am. Which really stinks.
I'm not real good at getting my thoughts in order when I feel like this so if this doesn't make sense I apologize. My husband works for a bank in the insurance department. Lately he has been having to stay late for dinners for clients and that usually doesn't bother me. But when I start to feel like this I begin to wonder if he isn't having an affair. I know this is an irrational feeling I'm having because of the way I'm feeling right now, but I can't stop it.
And the more I think about it the worse I feel about it. I sit around and cry, which makes me angry because I hate to cry. And then that makes me me afraid to go out of the house because I'm afraid of how I'm going to react to certain things while I"m out feeling this way.
I love my husband very much and I know he loves me, so why do I have these thoughts? It drives me crazy! And when I am like this I get angry so easy over NOTHING! And when it's happening I know that there is no reason why I should be getting so angry but I can't help it. It's like this rage builds up inside me and I just want to explode. When this happens I usually go and walk real fast on my tredmill until I can't barely stand up anymore and that usually helps me feel better, but I wish I didn't feel this way in the first place!
I guess the good part out of all this is when I feel in the pits like this, I clean. I am a perfectionist and when I clean I CLEAN. So, my house gets a good make over and things get put away they way they are supposed to and where they are supposed to. :roll:
Well, I have to say that just writing this out has helped me feel a little bit better. When it's all up in my head it feels like it is going to consume me, but when it is written down it doesn't look like all that much. Thank you for taking the time to read this and thank you for developing this site where I can come and know that I will be around others with the same problems I face and have the same feelings I have from time to time. :)
Cath