wanting people to feel sorry for me

[blur]

i dont know.. i may be weird but i enjoy other peoples attention..
sometimes i purposely make my anxiety/panic attacks worse so people can react negatively towards me..

[blur]

mine has gotten worse over the years... 2 months ago i called and left a brief message on someones answering machine... it was brief and sad
id studder one word for a min.... its just painful

[V for Victor]

Well, I've heard of something similar, called Munchausen's syndrome, where parents will intentionally harm their children, and then present them to doctors for sympathy. I'm not saying that you'd do that, because you're not inflicting anything on anybody else for sympathy.

I understand why you want the sympathy of others. Anxiety and depression are highly painful, and because these problems are so inward, we sometimes feel like we have to make an effort to make others realize we have them. It's not like having a broken leg or something where everybody can see it and write their names and 'get well soon' on the cast.

The best way to deal with this is to find a solution for your anxiety and depression. It's not worth hanging onto for sympathy. I'm sorry to say we don't live in a very sympathetic world. If you haven't done so already, I suggest talking to a doctor/therapist about your problems, and see if you can start working through them.

[Courage101]

Sympathy is not something I've found very helpful, but I have found it to be something that I pushed for. By "push" I mean the same things you are talking about, Blur. I even had a kind of sick pride about being able to elicit sympathy from people!

When people feel sympathy for you, they feel the same way as you both on a biological and an emotional level. The reason it's not much use is that when people feel that way, they only contribute to the problem or the symptoms that got you there in the first place! When that happens, they tend to fuel you to go even further with it.

An analogy that my friend had is that it's like "putting a drink in the hand of an alcoholic": when you get the sympathy, your intoxication on the feelings provided by your panic attack gets worse. Ironically, if people don't give the desired response at first, you'll try even harder to get it.

In my experience, it is best to avoid the people who occasionally sympathize with you. I know this seems counter-intuititive and possibly very difficult to do, but after a while the fact that you are not getting the intermittent reward of having others sympathize with you will eventually lead to you no longer trying to elicit sympathy in others for your panic attacks. The people who only give you sympathy occasionally are the ones you need to avoid most because the more irregularly they give it to you, the harder you will try to get it.

Does that make sense? Stop putting yourself in situations where you can manipulate people into giving you the symapthy you seek during your panic attacks. At first you will try even harder, but eventually you will stop trying and start getting over your panic attacks on your own.

Once again, I can only come from my own experience. This is simply what works for me.

i dont know.. i may be weird but i enjoy other peoples attention..
sometimes i purposely make my anxiety/panic attacks worse so people can react negatively towards me..

Thats ok Blur...Its understandable!!!

[Fear]

I feel something similar, blur.

[Robbed]

i dont know.. i may be weird but i enjoy other peoples attention..
sometimes i purposely make my anxiety/panic attacks worse so people can react negatively towards me..

Have you typically been neglected and/or unloved throughout your life?