Most stressfull week ever and can't shake it! Chest pains are scaring me to death.

[1Goofy1]

About a year and a half ago my husband and I took in a 17 year old boy who was a friend of our daughter for about 4 years and having horrible trouble at home. He was going to run away, months away from graduation we didn't want him to throw it away and we took him in.
I grew to love him like my own. Things were wonderful for about the first year. Slowly he started sluffing off, quit his job, played those damn video games all day long and grew more and more distant. I stayed in close contact with his father and told him my concerns of drugs or depression. He seemed concerned but never offered any help at all.
Last Saturday morning while having my first cup of tea, phone call from police. They found him sleeping in a running car with lots of trouble with him. 4 felonies in 1 shot. I was heartbroken. All week I go through, shame, guilt, anger, sadness, concern, every emotion possible. He is now with his father thank God because I am a mess.
Panic, fatigue, cold sweats, chest pain, pain in upper back, down my arms and on and off racing heart for days now. I can't shake this one but have not dealt with this amount of stress all at once before.
Should I be worried since it has been days. The numbness in my left had and aching arm is really scaring me along with the chest pain. But I know chest pains are common for me with anxiety. Is the arm thing just from carrying the stress in the back muscles?
This boy is wanting to come back to me already, I don't want to make him feel that I don't still love him but I really need to get a grip on this crap. I have to go see him and his father tomorrow and I am already just dreading it. His father is so nice but the kid is playing him like a fiddle.
I just can't take this stress right now. My symptoms are stronger then they have been in years and I am really scared it is just gonna kill me.

[laurandisorder]

Firstly, please just go and get a check up. Stress can cause anxiety symptoms like this, but you never know - its best to get an all clear from a doctor - getting a confirmation that there is nothing wrong with you should help you get rid of some of the panic.

The next thing you have to do is decide what you are going to do about this boy. This is definitely a decision that would make me highly anxious. I work with young people about this age and I think that it is important that you forgive, but lay down the law. He needs to get a job or be in school. He needs to give away the gaming for a while and let him know that he needs to make positive progress and you will continue to support him.

If he doesn't want to move forward with you as his carers, then he'll have to go back to his folks. It's not fair on you to put you through this stress. Don't make it personal or lay the blame square on him, but do explain what his night of thoughtless behaviour has done to you in terms of the panic and anxiety.

He wouldn't have meant to hurt you. Teenagers really do stupid things, but as soon as you get into adulthood you kind of forget just how stupid the choices that they make can be. Honesty and not letting anger creep in is the best way to relate to young people. And also lots of positive reinforcement when they do the right thing.

Good luck with this dilemma - let us know how you go!