mglover92
02-15-2013, 12:59 AM
So I have a problem right now. Thankfully I have gotten over my panic attacks and they no longer are a problem. Thank the lord. But my head is not in the right spot and I still have anxious thoughts and its quite annoying. I do not want my panic attacks to come back so I am trying to combat this problem asap and get over it. Basically right now my problem is that whenever I start to feel happy or something good happens to me I IMMEDIATELY start to feel anxious again. Not so much as anxious but I just start to have what if thoughts. Basically negative thoughts. I believe these thoughts are happening to me because I ALWAYS feel like this feeling of being "happy" is not going to last and tomorrow I could wake up feeling like shit again. So my mind immediately switches over to being negative and being scared. I really cant explain it. Am I just not use to feeling happy? I have had anxiety for months and finally got rid of my panic attacks but like I said, I am not fully healed yet and this is really the hardest fucking part. I will give an example of what i'm talking about.
So right now I am a film student. I am saving up for a Red Epic M camera. Its pretty expensive but the money is coming in great and its starting to pay off. I want the cam to start shooting films and working on my cinematography. But basically I got paid today and I thought about owning the camera, imagining myself with the camera, and thinking of how amazing it would be to own it. I started thinking of ideas of what I am going to shoot with it first. I felt happy thinking about it. Well once I started thinking of those things, immediately a negative, nervous thought and feeling came to me. I really dont know why...but it seems to happen whenever i feel good about something..its almost like I have to question myself whenever something good happens! Like what the fuck?!!! Does anyone else suffer from this?! I know I cannot be the only one here...Oh and this is random but does anyone get scared of being alone in the house sometimes at night? I ask because last night i was home alone at night and for some reason I just felt anxious..it was random...I know there is nothing to be scared of...but honestly...this sucks...any advice? Please no medication advice. I am not depressed. I love my life and still love my hobbies. But its like a behavioral process that just needs to be fixed so I can continue to feel happy when I feel "happy" I just get scared it wont last...:( Thanks for anyone who responds.
So right now I am a film student. I am saving up for a Red Epic M camera. Its pretty expensive but the money is coming in great and its starting to pay off. I want the cam to start shooting films and working on my cinematography. But basically I got paid today and I thought about owning the camera, imagining myself with the camera, and thinking of how amazing it would be to own it. I started thinking of ideas of what I am going to shoot with it first. I felt happy thinking about it. Well once I started thinking of those things, immediately a negative, nervous thought and feeling came to me. I really dont know why...but it seems to happen whenever i feel good about something..its almost like I have to question myself whenever something good happens! Like what the fuck?!!! Does anyone else suffer from this?! I know I cannot be the only one here...Oh and this is random but does anyone get scared of being alone in the house sometimes at night? I ask because last night i was home alone at night and for some reason I just felt anxious..it was random...I know there is nothing to be scared of...but honestly...this sucks...any advice? Please no medication advice. I am not depressed. I love my life and still love my hobbies. But its like a behavioral process that just needs to be fixed so I can continue to feel happy when I feel "happy" I just get scared it wont last...:( Thanks for anyone who responds.