danceintherain
02-12-2013, 08:35 PM
When it comes to everything, I always assume the worst or most dire about myself or the situation I'm in. It affects my relationships. I have a history of anxiety and depression.
So there's this cute guy from class. We went on a date, but I had to reschedule our second one this past weekend. Anyway, my mind keeps coming up with the worst thoughts ever. Oh, he think that other girl is cuter--he wants to date her. Oh, you look like shit, he's not attracted to you. :(
At the same time, I'm afraid to get close to him because....idk. I really don't know. I guess, anxiety? Today, I left class without saying goodbye because I thought his body language showed that he wasn't interested. I'm so angry at myself for assuming the worst and then acting on it.
I'm really kicking myself because I thought I learned my lesson. Five years ago--on a much bigger scale than this--my insecurities got in the way of me following my heart and it was the biggest mistake ever.
I added him on fb after leaving w/o saying anything, no response yet...I just....wanna kick myself for real....
IDK what my question is...how do I keep these insecurities in check?? I've been in counseling off and on for the past few years and I'm generally healthy and counseling is unnecessary at the point (says my counselor)...it's just my brain goes crazy sometimes. :/ I'm so tired of anxiety...I can't deal with it anymore...it's exhausting and painful :(...I just need feedback...
So there's this cute guy from class. We went on a date, but I had to reschedule our second one this past weekend. Anyway, my mind keeps coming up with the worst thoughts ever. Oh, he think that other girl is cuter--he wants to date her. Oh, you look like shit, he's not attracted to you. :(
At the same time, I'm afraid to get close to him because....idk. I really don't know. I guess, anxiety? Today, I left class without saying goodbye because I thought his body language showed that he wasn't interested. I'm so angry at myself for assuming the worst and then acting on it.
I'm really kicking myself because I thought I learned my lesson. Five years ago--on a much bigger scale than this--my insecurities got in the way of me following my heart and it was the biggest mistake ever.
I added him on fb after leaving w/o saying anything, no response yet...I just....wanna kick myself for real....
IDK what my question is...how do I keep these insecurities in check?? I've been in counseling off and on for the past few years and I'm generally healthy and counseling is unnecessary at the point (says my counselor)...it's just my brain goes crazy sometimes. :/ I'm so tired of anxiety...I can't deal with it anymore...it's exhausting and painful :(...I just need feedback...