CaliforniaxxCowboy
02-12-2013, 02:00 PM
Hey...
So I'm new to the forum but I believe I've had an anxiety disorder since late last year. The thing is, I'm not sure it's one that even exists. What I'm going to say might sound absolutely ridiculous, but I swear I'm being for real. Quick background on me...
When I was 18 I developed IBS. I'd consider it mild to moderate. It's never been completely unmanageable, but I've had flair ups that have made holding steady employment difficult throughout my adult life. About two years ago I applied for my Commercial Truck license. After I graduated from school, I went to work driving a straight truck locally. During this time my IBS was pretty much under control. My life was relatively low stress and my job was well structured (I worked nights). This past December my employer informed a bunch of us drivers that our positions were being cut due to consolidation with another trucking company. I soon found myself unemployed. Eager to get back to work, I applied with an over the road trucking company. For those that don't know, over the road means you drive long haul and spend many days or weeks away from home. Driving the trucks during training was no problem. I finished my refresher course and was quickly on my way to becoming an OTR driver. There was just one huge problem...
Somewhere between that first day on the road and the morning after, I realized I was going to have a major problem. The thought or idea of going #2 in a public restroom with people around made me panic. I couldn't do it. Most of the truck stop bathrooms are really crowded too, so the chance of being alone in one is slim to none. I quickly lost focus on my job entirely. The next few days became solely focused around finding a restroom where I could be alone. I started noticing these weird stomach problems, and became worried that I'd develop something as a result of holding it in. Then I learned for about 13 dollars, you can purchase a shower which has a private restroom inside. I usually deuce about twice a day. Thats twenty six dollars a day, everyday. And I usually didn't even have time to purchase the damn shower room anyway.
This phobia actually drove me to get off the truck and go on 30 day medical leave. I'm about 12 days in with 18 more to go. I can no longer collect unemployment from my previous position because I've already accepted and worked this current one. So unless I want to starve to death, I need to get over this phobia FAST.
I'm curious to know if anyone has ever heard of or experienced this type of phobia. And if so, what can be done to treat it. I don't have health insurance yet so professional help is out of the question. But I've been able to treat my IBS on my own and hope I can do the same for this.
So I'm new to the forum but I believe I've had an anxiety disorder since late last year. The thing is, I'm not sure it's one that even exists. What I'm going to say might sound absolutely ridiculous, but I swear I'm being for real. Quick background on me...
When I was 18 I developed IBS. I'd consider it mild to moderate. It's never been completely unmanageable, but I've had flair ups that have made holding steady employment difficult throughout my adult life. About two years ago I applied for my Commercial Truck license. After I graduated from school, I went to work driving a straight truck locally. During this time my IBS was pretty much under control. My life was relatively low stress and my job was well structured (I worked nights). This past December my employer informed a bunch of us drivers that our positions were being cut due to consolidation with another trucking company. I soon found myself unemployed. Eager to get back to work, I applied with an over the road trucking company. For those that don't know, over the road means you drive long haul and spend many days or weeks away from home. Driving the trucks during training was no problem. I finished my refresher course and was quickly on my way to becoming an OTR driver. There was just one huge problem...
Somewhere between that first day on the road and the morning after, I realized I was going to have a major problem. The thought or idea of going #2 in a public restroom with people around made me panic. I couldn't do it. Most of the truck stop bathrooms are really crowded too, so the chance of being alone in one is slim to none. I quickly lost focus on my job entirely. The next few days became solely focused around finding a restroom where I could be alone. I started noticing these weird stomach problems, and became worried that I'd develop something as a result of holding it in. Then I learned for about 13 dollars, you can purchase a shower which has a private restroom inside. I usually deuce about twice a day. Thats twenty six dollars a day, everyday. And I usually didn't even have time to purchase the damn shower room anyway.
This phobia actually drove me to get off the truck and go on 30 day medical leave. I'm about 12 days in with 18 more to go. I can no longer collect unemployment from my previous position because I've already accepted and worked this current one. So unless I want to starve to death, I need to get over this phobia FAST.
I'm curious to know if anyone has ever heard of or experienced this type of phobia. And if so, what can be done to treat it. I don't have health insurance yet so professional help is out of the question. But I've been able to treat my IBS on my own and hope I can do the same for this.