Amazingly good day!

[manz82]

Well, I recently purchased a book called At Last A Life and I've read about three chapters so far...
In it, the guy (who suffered for ten years with anxiety) explains how important it is to carry on living even though anxiety tries to stop us from doing the things we used to love and now find so scary.
So, today, I got in my car with my best friend and my mum and drove us all about five miles out of my comfort zone, to treat us all to a nice meal for my friends birthday. And I'm still alive!
Nothing bad happened to me on the drive and while I was there. Yes, I was nervous while driving and my head felt pressurised (both anxiety) but I kept what I'd learnt from the book in my mind and just let the anxiety come if it wanted to. We had a great catch up over our meal and we even played in the park at the side of the restaurant afterwards. And I belly laughed for the first time in ages!
I'm now back home, and even though I'm tired and my muscles are a little twitchy, I am so happy that I've been out and LIVED! I let myself feel whatever my mind and body wanted to and I carried on anyway. It's amazing how this simple theory works so well. I very much recommend the book to any of you guys who, like me, avoid social situations for fear of what you may feel.
Big hugs to you all. Xx

[trinidiva]

Good for you!!!!! It's always a great feeling when you step out of your comfort zone, and make it through..it truly is a big accomplishment for those of us who suffer from anxiety.

I hope you continue having great, anxiety free days!!!!!

[jessed03]

I'm now back home, and even though I'm tired and my muscles are a little twitchy, I am so happy that I've been out and LIVED! I let myself feel whatever my mind and body wanted to and I carried on anyway.

I really love this post Manz!

Especially the bit's that I've bolded. I remember when my anxiety was super high, I took a Spanish class, and the idea of performing, made my head feel like it would explode... I actually turned bright red, and lost all balance, but I dragged myself through, by the thinnest hair on my head, and completed the course, si senior! I remember on the way home, I felt like I'd just come out of bypass surgery... but I was sooo freaking relieved, and proud of myself for showing the GUTS to keep going. That's what I was beating myself up over, I could come to terms with failure, and come to terms with anxiety, it was the fact I shied away, and cowarded down from every challenge that was really killing my self-esteem. That I wasn't pushing myself. I just knew, as we all know deep down, that I could never grow, and never get better, if I wasn't pushing myself that tiny little bit.

It was a big catalyst for change actually. It made a statement in my life, that I was going to press on regardless, albeit at perhaps a slower, and more relaxed pace than I would have liked, but I became less dependant on outcome, as long as I showed the determination to push through. I look back and that was almost 2 years ago :) Much has changed since then, now I'm first to volunteer! But it's funny, I think there are real pivotal moments in life, where it could go either way, and our decision in those moments really shape our actions for the years to come.

I think you will remember your courage as being a big moment somewhere down the line. You've let anxiety give you it's worse, you're seeing beyond the bluff. It's a losing street for anxiety from here on in :)

[manz82]

Thanks Jessed. I hope you're right about this being a turning point. I've had so many ups and downs in the past three and a half years since my anxiety started that I used to think there was no way out, and I don't want to jinx myself, but something feels different in me now - it's like I'm almost accepting this demon in me and am willing to live alongside it, to let it do what it wants but I'm the one who's now in control, not it. It feels really good. Xx