jeremynd
06-10-2007, 12:41 PM
Well were should I start. I am 24yrs old and I have suffered from anxiety since around 4th grade from what I remember. Anytime before that I remember of never being nervous or worrying about being around people.
My problem seems to be getting worse now which I am feeling like a prisoner of my own life. I dont know why I did'nt think of it sooner but lastnight I decided to do a search in google for "Anxiety Forum" to see if there was anyone out there like me and sure enough I found this place and while reading about 1-2 pages of threads all I did was laugh because all you people on this forum are just like me.
After searching google for "social disorders" and reading the definition everything it said right down to the last word was exactly what i go through everyday.
Basically the only friend I can handle without freaking out inside is my brother.
I have a girlfriend that I have been with for 6 years that i met through my uncle, which was my uncles friends daughter. they all came over to me and my moms house and thats when I had met her. When I met her, I barely said a word to her or anyone, my uncle had to go get me from my room and told me she wanted to talk to me LOL. I ask her today why she had any interest in me and she said she thought the quiteness was sexy and that I was hot. (Lucky Me) If she would'nt have came along then I would probably still be by myself and living with my alcoholic mother.
My life today... My girlfriend, 4 yr old Daughter and myself live in a HUD assisted townhome village/community. My girlfriend is the total opposite of me, she is friends with all the women of the neighborhood and all I do is sit in my garage day in and day out smoking cigarettes. Basically I feel like a weirdo I am starting to feel that the whole neighborhood thinks the same even though if they come up to the garage I can spit out a few nice words and have a brief nervous conversation with them.
my issue lastnight... It was saturday night and some family gave us a call to come over and play poker with them and there friends. Well I just could not handle the thought of going and they even called back and said "Come on over jeremy, we're waiting on you..." and all I said was "You guys dont have to wait on me..." and then my girlfriend was all ready to go and we got into a brief fight about how we dont do anything together as a couple because I dont ever want to go anywhere and just sit at home all the time on the damn computer.... Well she and my daughter went over there for a few hours and while they were gone I found this forum and found a nice definition of Social Phobia/Anxiety. When she got home, she gave me a kiss and told me she was sorry for yelling at me. And I told her if she really wanted to know what is wrong with me to read the webpage on the computer screen (Social Phobia Definition) and you will know what I go through everyday and what is wrong with me. She read it and she now understands a bit more. she always knew that I was quiet and got nervous around people but she never really know exactly what my condition was..
Getting help... I seen my family doctor about 6 months ago and told her about my anxiety but she seemed to think my anxiety was caused from depression. I think thats total bullshit, I believe I get my depression from having anxiety. Well she had put me on effexor and that lasted about a week. I just felt tired and like I was a zombie and not really there.. So I dropped it.
I am now thinking I need to see a shrink, someone who is going to have a better understanding of what I am going through...
what do you guys/girls think? :oops:
My problem seems to be getting worse now which I am feeling like a prisoner of my own life. I dont know why I did'nt think of it sooner but lastnight I decided to do a search in google for "Anxiety Forum" to see if there was anyone out there like me and sure enough I found this place and while reading about 1-2 pages of threads all I did was laugh because all you people on this forum are just like me.
After searching google for "social disorders" and reading the definition everything it said right down to the last word was exactly what i go through everyday.
Basically the only friend I can handle without freaking out inside is my brother.
I have a girlfriend that I have been with for 6 years that i met through my uncle, which was my uncles friends daughter. they all came over to me and my moms house and thats when I had met her. When I met her, I barely said a word to her or anyone, my uncle had to go get me from my room and told me she wanted to talk to me LOL. I ask her today why she had any interest in me and she said she thought the quiteness was sexy and that I was hot. (Lucky Me) If she would'nt have came along then I would probably still be by myself and living with my alcoholic mother.
My life today... My girlfriend, 4 yr old Daughter and myself live in a HUD assisted townhome village/community. My girlfriend is the total opposite of me, she is friends with all the women of the neighborhood and all I do is sit in my garage day in and day out smoking cigarettes. Basically I feel like a weirdo I am starting to feel that the whole neighborhood thinks the same even though if they come up to the garage I can spit out a few nice words and have a brief nervous conversation with them.
my issue lastnight... It was saturday night and some family gave us a call to come over and play poker with them and there friends. Well I just could not handle the thought of going and they even called back and said "Come on over jeremy, we're waiting on you..." and all I said was "You guys dont have to wait on me..." and then my girlfriend was all ready to go and we got into a brief fight about how we dont do anything together as a couple because I dont ever want to go anywhere and just sit at home all the time on the damn computer.... Well she and my daughter went over there for a few hours and while they were gone I found this forum and found a nice definition of Social Phobia/Anxiety. When she got home, she gave me a kiss and told me she was sorry for yelling at me. And I told her if she really wanted to know what is wrong with me to read the webpage on the computer screen (Social Phobia Definition) and you will know what I go through everyday and what is wrong with me. She read it and she now understands a bit more. she always knew that I was quiet and got nervous around people but she never really know exactly what my condition was..
Getting help... I seen my family doctor about 6 months ago and told her about my anxiety but she seemed to think my anxiety was caused from depression. I think thats total bullshit, I believe I get my depression from having anxiety. Well she had put me on effexor and that lasted about a week. I just felt tired and like I was a zombie and not really there.. So I dropped it.
I am now thinking I need to see a shrink, someone who is going to have a better understanding of what I am going through...
what do you guys/girls think? :oops: