Family

[Genericemail213]

Sometimes I think my family wants me to fail. it's so hard and so painful i can't bear it. especially my mom. im recooperating from mental illness and a crippling nervous breakdown I had a year ago. it was so horrible i thought i was going to die. and no one was there for me. my mom says she's there for me and stuff but sometimes i doubt my own ability to deal with these problems ive had and i tell myself im going to fail, they were right, im never going to move on with my life get out of here, have a career and a home. its so unbearable sometimes i dont know what to do when i feel that way i just try to encourage myself and say im going to be better that my mental problems wont get in the way. sometimes i feel like the people im fighting are the people at home the people that are supposed to love me. my boyfriend from along time ago would be there for me but we broke up along time ago and no way we can talk now. too much time has passed and i was the one that messed that thing up in the first place, which has caused alot of the pain and depression ive felt for along time. i just wish sometimes someone could just lift me up and be there for me without judgement. the thing is idont even really feel like God could be that thing for me. i had a horrible experience with a church that i went to and made me feel so depressed. they were horrible and spiritually abusive which made me feel like i couldnt even please god or that those people who were supposed to care were so horrible. i guess im on my own you know but sometimes i feel like i have no friend, that im not even my own friend, more like my worst enemy because i'm working/fighting my own mind to be ok. i dont want to fail

[trinidiva]

You have plenty of support here. A lot of us are probably going through something similar, and our family wants to be supportive but cant really understand what we are dealing with.
I think a lot of us can probably identify with that.

[jessed03]

I think family has to be the biggest contributor to mental dissatisfaction than anything else I've known. I think if you went around all institutions across the country, and asked the people what it was about life they couldn't handle, I sincerely believe almost 9 of 10 would say family. People can see to deal with their money worries, they can toughen up and push on. The same often happens with poor health, it makes them more resilient and stubborn to go forward, but family - they just seem to go under the radar and get us from the inside. We don't have the heart to stand up to them like we would anything else, and often it takes us down in a sort of 'death by a thousand cuts' way.

Most of the time sadly, they actually mean well.

It's really important to find people somewhere that understand you. I think that's why these forums are great. I know they've been called a way to escape reality, but they aren't. Most of the time, it's only by someone else understanding us, that we finally understand ourselves, and we can finally begin to process life.

Here's the truth of life though... You don't have to please anybody. Forget whatever you were told by your parents, your teachers, your friends, your lovers, your priest. The second you entertain any of those thoughts, you've bought a one way ticket to nowhere happiness can thrive. People will always try to pass their opinions and beliefs on to you, but there is no one, right way to live life. There are only ideas people believe in, and you can choose your own ideas to believe. You have the right to live your life without explanation. Don't let anybody, ever define that for you, because once you allow it, you've lost a huge part if yourself. The only people you want in your life are people that take happiness in you living honest to yourself, and living happily with your own action and mindset. Roll the dice, and let the others fall away.

There's only one thing my anxiety taught me really... and that's that the World rewards backbone :)