Maybe this will be more helpful

[mrsmischief]

I have chronic anxiety. It started at a young age. My dad and sister broke so many bones, my mom had tachycardia and had to have surgery. Then is 4th grade my other sister was diagnosed with diabetes. I was so sure that I was next and lived in constant fear that my turn would be an undiagnosable mystery illness. I was sorta right. In 8th grade I was infected with a parasite from bad tap water. There was no fever so the school nurse told my mom I was a liar. My GP accused me of being pregnant and took 3 TESTS! All came back negative. I was sick for a month. Up all night puking the last week, finally my mom got fed up. When the GP mentioned it could be a parasite she told him to write the prescription and I feolt better almost instantly with the meds. But being sick for that month and having no one beleive me traumatized me. I finally started to move on in high school. Until I was harrassed and bullied by an ex friend over gossip. Thats when I had my first panic attack. Then years later a boyfriend gave me so much emotional abuse that I crashed. He didnt realize what he was doing to me, but hed make comments about leaving me if I gained weight. I ended up becoming anerexic subconsciously. After eating almost nothing id feel full, but really it was the anxiety of him leaving me that made me feel disgusted by eating anymore. When I crashed I was a vegetable for two weeks and had to have 24/7 supervision. Wasnt able to eat or move. Literally couldn't even change the channel on the tv with the remote. I was completely torn apart. When I recovered I left him. And since then I've struggled with my anxiety alone. No one knows how to act around me. They dont understand that while my anxiety is in my head it is also a reaction from my nervous system. Thats a bodily function I cannot control. Im back on my meds now and back to seeing my doctor once a month. She says with chronic anxiety ill need my meds my whole life. Which is fine with me if they work. Just need to get back to the right dose right now and give them time to take effect.
Currently my biggest problem is a phobia of vomit. I am living with an alcoholic so she pukes all the time. More often recently and its just tearing me apart. I cant sleep, eat, breathe, or move when she does it. Last night her bf drank till he was sick, and we only have one bathroom. I lost so much sleep and couldn't eat all day because of it. And now I feel sick because I've eaten nothing and worked all day with no sleep. Im trying to eat now and calm down. I have to work early tomorrow. But I cant get over it, she knows I cant stand this and they still drank ALL DAY TODAY! So the real problem now is the fear that they will be sick again tonight. What can I do to calm down and sleep?