New here - cured!

[Foxfire]

Hi all, I just discovered this group after dealing with an anxiety disorder for about three years and thought I would post my story up to give the rest of you a bit of hope to the future as I've had an extraordinary breakthrough and am now to all intents and purposes totally free of anxiety.

Like so many of you here, I've had every single medical test done and continually was told I was totally healthy. Even when I went to the doctor saying that I thought I was having panic attacks, they didn't want to know because I presented as such a logical, intelligent and outwardly cool individual. Little did they know!! Eventually I was put on ativan (which helped) and fluoxetine (which did not) which controlled the situation for a time but did not (as I know now) address the CAUSE of the problem in the first place.

I have always had an overexaggerated response to severe stress. I remember getting rushed to hospital because I had gone into shock over period cramps when I was about 19 (eek how embarassing!) but while the stress was occasional, my body and brain dealt with that response just fine. When I was 23 (I'm 28 now) I had a horse-riding accident that should have killed me. I got out of it with my arm snapped in half, chipped bone in my ankle, lacerations etc. but it left me hospital for quite a while with an 18month physical recovery period after that. I can now look back and say 'that was when I started to become fearful'.

Two years later while working on my PhD, I was out in the field and had my first panic attack. I had no idea what was happening to me, all I knew was that I had this feeling of giddiness, thought I was going to faint - tingling up and down the arms, sweating palms. I thought it must have been an allergic reaction to something. Over the next year or so I started having the 'dizzy's' more frequently. Now they were happening when I was working, when I was in the field, when I was bushwalking, when I was singing on stage, when I was hungover. They came to a head when I again had to be rushed to hospital because I lost the ability to speak. All my words weren't forming properly and the people I was with thought I was having a stroke! The doctor diagnosed me with labrynthitis (an inner ear inflammation) and I thought 'great!!' this is where all the problems have been coming from. Obviously, I continued to have the attacks which got to the point where I stopped going to work, I stopped working on my PhD, I cancelled all my gigs, I refused to drive more than 20 minutes from my home and I started developing OCD's. While all this was going on, I was desperately trying to hide my condition from as many people as possible for the precise reason that I AM logical and intelligent and have always been considered a very together 'coping' kind of person. I was adding more stress to the stress I was under.

Eventually I reached a point where I had palpitations for four days straight, so severe that I was rushed to our local medical centre (sounding familiar to anyone?) whacked on an ECG, told not to do anything to further stress me out until I could see a cardiologist. Yes, a very calming situation to be in!

Finally I had had enough. I started researching heart conditions that could give that kind of symptom (along with the others I was feeling) and I just couldn't find any. The things that kept coming up again and again where anxiety and panic and I finally accepted that this was my issue.
Once I had done that, I attempted the 'bring it on - do your worst!' attitude to the attacks which was moderately successful but did not actually halt the them entirely. I did some more research and came across Claire Weekes' book 'Complete Self-help for your nerves'. I was at the point where I thought 'it can't hurt!' despite the fact I was quietly confident that no book could cure my issues. It arrived, I devoured it in two hours, alternating between sobbing and hysterical laughter that every single symptom that I'd ever had was written about in this book along with the physological reasons for why it happens, what the effects are on your body and how to deal with it.

For me, it was a godsend, I applied the techniques and now I am completely anxiety free. It is taking time for my nervous system to settle down (and that is to be expected, after all I've been abusing it for years!) but I am confident that in time I will have no symptoms at all. I've gone back to work, I'm again working on my PhD, I'm going out in public, frequently driving with NO FEAR that I will ever again be victim to this horrid insidious illness that controlled my life for so long. I now take no medication either which I find for me, to be a wonderful thing (I realise that it's not right for everyone to not use medication).

The turnaround for me was almost instantaneous. I went from having up to 10 panic attacks a day to having none and the sheer relief from the alleviation of those symptoms has been enough to give me the confidence that the rest of my life can be panic free as well.

I am one of the lucky ones, I know that there are those of you out there who will probably have tried these techniques before and have been unsuccessful in the past, but persevere because life without anxiety is life again!! And if I can do it, then anyone can..
Hang in there all of you, there's much hope for the future and you will get through it. I hope my story is of use to someone.
Thanks,
Foxfire

[V for Victor]

Thanks for posting this! :)

It's a very encouraging story. Ten panic attacks a day? That must've been just horrid!


If my anxiety does come back too strongly, I'll buy that book you mentioned. I'm curious to read it.

[Foxfire]

Yup, 10 a day... I was systematically destroying everything I loved. I would have them sitting in front of the tv doing nothing. I think that's what was hardest for me to deal with, the seemingly random way they were occurring. No apparent triggers (that I could see) and happening during not just stressful situations but in totally relaxed ones as well.

Nervous systems are tricky little nointers!

Thanks for the response
:)

[Jeordie]

Thanks for the post, that's the stuff we need to hear. Tell me one thing though. I have experienced almost complete recovery after really DECIDING not to ever waste a single second more on my symtoms, but I have been tricked to setback. I have read Claire Weeke's book, and I know her method is the one that works, but what isn't allowing me to recover is the idea that my symtoms COULD STILL BE something else.

How does one deal with this? Because when you recover you need a STRONG belief that you have nothing wrong. If you aren't convinced, you're going to have a setback. And I'm not convinced because my symptoms have blurs that weren't mentioned in the book. Yes, she talks about dizziness, but she doesn't describe it in such an awful way as I do. To me, dizziness is truly a death or life experience. So I'm still thinking it might be something else.

But I might as well be tricking myself, such is the habit to think horribly. How do I stop this?

[Foxfire]

[ but what isn't allowing me to recover is the idea that my symtoms COULD STILL BE something else. [/quote]


I know exactly how you feel. I had been given a referral to a cardiologist after the severe palpitation incident. It can take months here to get an appointment during which time, I read the book and recovered. Even though I KNEW intellectually that my symptoms were caused by anxiety I still went to the cardiologist to get the all clear just in case because I was thinking 'how ironic would it be to get to this point and suddenly find out that i actually DID have something wrong with me'. Subsequently the night before the appointment I had palpitations and pounding and right before I went in I started to get dizzy.. Fortunately I was at the point where I started laughing at myself because in my effort to prove that I was actually sick, I had proved that I had panic! Lo and behold, the dizzy went away, I got the all clear (and a lecture from the expert about how indestructible 28 year old hearts are) and its now full steam ahead.

The trick for me, is to not berate myself for thinking that way. It's totally natural considering how preoccupied I've been with this sort of thing for so long. It takes time for your thought patterns (and your body) to settle down and for you to get interested in other things and its fine to think all these things as long as you come to a total realisation that it just doesn't matter. It doesn't actually matter whether or not you're actually sick. That's not the issue at this point, the issue is you're obsessing about it and therefore guaranteeing that you're not getting out of the trap you've set for yourself. My advice in your situation is if you haven't had the all clear from doctors yet, go and get it because its reassuring and then you logically can tell yourself that you're ok. It will take longer for it to settle into your subconscious but it will happen if you're prepared to accept the fact that you'll think about it for some time yet and that its totally natural and ok to do this as long as you're also telling yourself that it doesn't matter. If you've already had the all clear, then you KNOW that your body is free of known diseases and what you have now is an exhausted and depleted nervous system.

While you're still saying you're worried about the fact that it could be something else, you are still adopting a fear stance and ensuring that you are still afraid of your symptoms and that's the secondary fear cycle all over again just in a more insidious and tricky way. Don't even worry about the fact it may be something else because it doesn't matter if it is. If it was life threatening, it would have killed you already (there's some comfort!!) and I'm sure that intellectually you know that. So do yourself a favour and stop beating yourself up over this! Let it happen and encourage yourself that in time you'll worry about it less and less.

Well done on getting to this stage by the way!!!

Hope this helps,
Foxfire

[Foxfire]

and just to add, Jeordie don't forget the book was written in 1962!! That's 45 years ago!! There are bound to be parts of symptoms in it that weren't logged at that time. That's to be expected. Setbacks are fine and part of the recovery process just as long as you don't worry about them. Use the same techniques that have worked for you in that past and I know you'll breeze right through them. :)

[Jeordie]

Thanks. An updated version of the book would be great. However, these days I'm reading the volume "Essential help for your nerves", from the same author, which is two books in one and is considered an extension to Self Help. It goes deeper in some things like explanation of the symptoms, and I like this.

Anyway, I know THE DAY I'll decide to say "ok" to any single symtom I have, I'll recover. I know I'll keep have annoyances for some time, so full recover will take more time, but it is indeed the change of attitude that I call recover.

Maybe it'll be today...I'll let you know. This morning I woke up EXHAUSTED, but it's better now.
Thanks again. Best of luck.

[LYNDSAY]

im ordering to book right now, thank you so much, you gave not only me, but im sure thousands of people hope~!!....thanks so much and hope to talk to you soon

[Foxfire]

I think the most recent edition is published in 1997. THey go under a few different variations of name depending on which country you're in but they're pretty easy to get... Again, it's still a hard road, this is not a quick fix but help is always at hand for those tricky times.
Good luck!

[Robbed]

This thread brings up a MAJOR shortfall in the treatment of anxiety - a failure to inform the patient of symptoms and let the patient know that they are nothing to be afraid of. No therapist I have seen has ever told me about this. Yet fear that symptoms have ominous implications is a MAJOR factor when it comes to maintaining an anxiety condition.

Another MAJOR problem I see in the treatment of depression and anxiety conditions is the whole idea of CBT that you 'feel what you think'. Yes, this is true in the broad sense of emotional stressors bringing about anxiety conditions. But it is most definitely NOT always true when it comes to day to day feelings of anxiety and/or panic when suffering with anxiety conditions. The result of classic CBT is therefore increased stress and worry when an anxiety sufferer cannot track down a 'negative automatic tought' that caused their anxiety symptoms to fire up, or spin their wheels trying to determine why they experienced anxiety just from thinking about getting a glass of water. It ca also cause people to lose hope sice they feel treatment has failed OR believe that only harsh medications like SSRIs can help them. The fact of the matter is that the anxiety state causes the brain to operate randomly, erratically, and unpredictably. This causes free-floating anxiety and panic attacks to come about all by themselves. Yet therapists who I have asked about this continue to insist that only negative automatic thoughts can cause you to feel anxious. Never was I told that this just happens, is part of anxiety, and should be delat with just by remaining calm and letting it pass on is own.

[Foxfire]

This thread brings up a MAJOR shortfall in the treatment of anxiety - a failure to inform the patient of symptoms and let the patient know that they are nothing to be afraid of. No therapist I have seen has ever told me about this. Yet fear that symptoms have ominous implications is a MAJOR factor when it comes to maintaining an anxiety condition.

Oh my god SO true!! I went to countless doctors and none of them ever sat me down and said 'this is what happens, this is why it happens, and this is what its effects are'. Once I knew what was going on, instant relief. And it's totally true that there can be no negative thought associated with the trigger of a panic attack. A loud noise can do it, or even excitement. Once I understood that it was merely the firing off of an overstimulated nervous system (think touching sensitive bits after orgasm :) ) I could allow myself to start ignoring the symptoms when they came rather than focusing on them.

Don't think I'm preaching an easy ride here either anyone, I still have days when I have symptoms it's just now I know what causes them and they don't ruin my day anymore! Eventually things will go back to normal and my responses will become less and less exaggerated. Until then, it's accept and move on.

It is such a good point to raise though, I really believe there is a solid lack of understanding by both GP's and psychologists when it comes to this kind of thing. I always experienced a level of condescension at best and outright disdain at worst when I was seeing these 'professionals' most of them wanted to medicate straight away (after years of conventional medical tests as none of them could believe that someone as seemingly together as I was could have this condition). The key thing I realised is that not ONE of them had ever experienced a panic attack themselves. Subsequently they had no ability to sympathise and encourage.

Something to think about anyway!
Cheers

[Robbed]

And it's totally true that there can be no negative thought associated with the trigger of a panic attack. A loud noise can do it, or even excitement. Once I understood that it was merely the firing off of an overstimulated nervous system (think touching sensitive bits after orgasm :) )

Here's another way of looking at it. If you break a leg and someone comes and hits it, it will hurt. This can be looked at the same way as having an anxiety-provoking negative thought. On the other hand, sometimes a broken leg just hurts on it's own - just because it is broken.

As for the whole idea of an 'overstimulated nervous system' (as put forth on anxietycentre), I don't care too much for this terminology. After all, anyone who likes fast cars or as been to a really good concert knows that an overstimulated nervous system is not always bad. Rather, I prefer the more precise term 'anxiety state'. I am sure this is what they are REALLY referring to at anxietycentre. And anxietycentre certainly is a GREAT place to go to learn about symptoms, as well as other anxiety reduction techniques.

[Foxfire]

As for the whole idea of an 'overstimulated nervous system' (as put forth on anxietycentre), I don't care too much for this terminology. After all, anyone who likes fast cars or as been to a really good concert knows that an overstimulated nervous system is not always bad.

I understand what you're saying here, I've actually never been to anxietycentre, I'll have to check it out! But for me, the idea works. In my understanding of it, the overstimulation is not analogous to driving fast cars or doing any of those fun adrenalin junkie things (and I've done my share and loved every second of it!). It's a gradual thing that builds up to an unsustainable point. I was so damn sure that I must have had some deep-seated trauma hidden away that was at the root of all of the anxiety and I was frightened to go and see a psychiatrist because I had always considered myself to be so GOOD at dealing with trauma in my life. It was such a wonderful moment for me to realise that my anxiety was not caused by one thing but rather a series of small constant stimuli that built up to that peak point and then pushed me over. Once I realised that my body was merely responding in the only way it knew how it became inconsequential which is the point at which healing begins.

I would describe doing the adrenalin producing stuff as stimulating the nervous system. I would describe having panic attacks as overstimulating the nervous system. It's not a right or a wrong concept, I think at this point, whatever works for anyone in the situation is the right course of action. What do you think?
Cheers :)

[Robbed]

It's a gradual thing that builds up to an unsustainable point. I was so damn sure that I must have had some deep-seated trauma hidden away that was at the root of all of the anxiety and I was frightened to go and see a psychiatrist because I had always considered myself to be so GOOD at dealing with trauma in my life. It was such a wonderful moment for me to realise that my anxiety was not caused by one thing but rather a series of small constant stimuli that built up to that peak point and then pushed me over. Once I realised that my body was merely responding in the only way it knew how it became inconsequential which is the point at which healing begins.

Kind of wierd how your mind does this. And counterproductive as well. After all, it gets your attention. But it makes you do precisely the opposite of what would be helpful. Also, most of us here probably know all too well about the stresses in our lives which, with probably over 90% certainty, gave rise to our anxiety conditions. Yet it seems so odd to me how the anxiety condition seems SO disconnected with them to the point that the original stressors don't even matter anymore. It also seems like the severity of the condition is just SO overblown when compared to what probably caused it. I guess this is just proof that humans are FAR less evolved and FAR more primitive than believed.

As far as the whole trauma thing, I thought maybe the same thing was true. But I was FAR less worried about seeking help to deal with it than I was about not being able to figure out what that trauma might be (and consequently having to suffer for years on end until I COULD find it).

[Foxfire]

As far as the whole trauma thing, I thought maybe the same thing was true. But I was FAR less worried about seeking help to deal with it than I was about not being able to figure out what that trauma might be (and consequently having to suffer for years on end until I COULD find it).

lucky you you're a braver person than I am!!
I think (and this is totally conjecture) that in a lot of cases everything goes haywire because for so long you don't know what is happening. I had panic attacks for a year before it even occurred to anyone that's what they were. I had another year after that of medico's testing me for everything ELSE under the sun and a year of breakdown before I started to recover. So that makes two years of my subconscious working away without my knowledge, providing all those stressors that I didn't even know were there. (Sorry if it seems like I'm talking about me a lot, I just don't want to generalise in case I offend someone, I realise not all experiences are the same!).

As to the primitive stuff, I had this argument with my doctor. The evolution of the body has not kept up with the evolution of the brain. All our primitve responses are still there back from when it was eat or be eaten. We are still phsyiologically geared for flight or fight but that response just isn't appropriate for the stresses we receive in our current social conditions. It's a bummer that it's not more widely recognised as i'm sure that many of us would have benefited greatly from an early recognition of what was happening to us.
Cheers all.

[Robbed]

I now recognize that I had symptoms as well before this whole thing really started. But since they were mild and really didn't bother me much, I ignored them. If I knew what they were before and what they could lead to, I would NOT have been so complacent.

Well, when it comes to evolution, I guess I forget that it is all driven by ability to reproduce. I guess anxiety does not place a big enough strain on ability to reproduce to be selected out. Especially since it often occurs after the age of 30 (beyond traditional reproductive age, and near the traditional age of death). Also, as you said, much anxiety is caused by modern social and occupational stressors, neither of which existed until fairly recently.

[Foxfire]

If I knew what they were before and what they could lead to, I would NOT have been so complacent.

You and me both.....


Well, when it comes to evolution, I guess I forget that it is all driven by ability to reproduce. I guess anxiety does not place a big enough strain on ability to reproduce to be selected out.

It places NO strain on reproduction. I was talking to my PhD supervisor this afternoon about this (how coincidental!). In past times (and we're talking right up to the early hominids and beyond) it would have been an advantage because those people with a more highly tuned flight or fight response were more likely to survive the predation pressure that was still extant at that time. Ergo it is likely that it is a trait that was selected for up until quite recently when it became a trait that while not actively selected for was also not selected against.. Kind of the way that some people have a longer second toe than their big one.. So theoretically you could say that all of us with anxiety disorders are just more ecologically likely to survive if the whole world decides to revert back to a prehistoric state! I knew there had to be an upside in there somewhere.

At any rate, I find that reducing things to basic biology and biological imperatives helps a lot in un-demonising this nasty little condition that gets its hooks in so very easily....
What does everyone else think?
Cheers
:)

[Izofdestiny]

Hi everyone:
I have been reading post on here searching for those who expierence my problems.
First lets clear the air and tell you I have: tachycardia, PVCs, and one history of Atrial Fib. Im 43 and in good shape..Ihave had a very stressful like especially the last 4 years. In 03 my 20 year old son was killed, in 04 my parents divorced, in 06 my mom died....

I obviously suffer from PTSD and anxiety and depression. It all can be so controling of your every day life. I sit and cry sometimes cause I just want to feel NORMAL again.

Right now, Im dealing with body jerks, twitches, my insides feel like they are vibrating from head to toe. I feel twitches thru out my body. MY heart races...I feel like someone has their hands around my throat and cant breath. Last night I went on a walk and just had so much anxiety and tenseness that I was out of breath easy. Went back home, sat downa nd wait a few minutes and took my heart rate and it was 122. I usually have a high heart rate anyways all the time...like 96-100 avg.

Anyone have any advice.....Please

[synaptic]

foxfire, after reading your inital post i have ordered claire weekes' "hope and help for your nerves." (the only one that it seems my local bookstore can get with any ease.) i've also read user reviews of her books on a few sites now and there are many reports that are similar to yours.

i understand that pretty much every treatment or self-help technique is a case of 'your mileage may vary' but im looking forward to reading the book. at the absolute least it sounds like it could be very interesting reading...and with some luck, maybe i can find something to assist me through my current anxiety issues. im certainly open to giving it a try.

[Foxfire]

understand that pretty much every treatment or self-help technique is a case of 'your mileage may vary' but im looking forward to reading the book. at the absolute least it sounds like it could be very interesting reading...and with some luck, maybe i can find something to assist me through my current anxiety issues. im certainly open to giving it a try.

I still find it incredible that such a debilitating and long lasting illness could have been cured for me as quickly as it was. Since I read it, I have never had another full blown panic attack and I know that I will never have another one again. I dearly hope that it works for you as well. Best of luck and if you want to discuss any of it, feel free!
Cheers

[ligeia]

hi foxfire, thank you so much for your post. i don't know why but after reading it it makes me want to cry. i don't know why.

sometimes i am in so much pain that it seems like i cannot ever escape it ever... but sorta like you, i always want everyone around me to feel like i am ok so i cover it up and keep it in. i sometimes don't even realize i'm ignoring my feelings until i'm knee deep in them.

what you wrote, that your life could change and be so wonderful, gives me some hope for my future. i am on a really high dose of paxil but i still get super anxious most all of the time (even though it has taken the edge off of my depression)... when i get the chance i will pick up that book you recommended.

i'm not really that into reading books because i'm a very artsy, visual person but i will try. i know it must sound like i'm stupid for not being into reading but i swear i'm not! at least i hope i'm not. anyhow, i will try! thanks for the advice. the hope is greatly appreciated.

[Foxfire]

what you wrote, that your life could change and be so wonderful gives me some hope for my future. i am on a really high dose of paxil but i still get super anxious most all of the time... when i get the chance i will pick up that book you recommended.

I was lucky in so many respects.. I think because I live in a rural area I didn't have the access to the therapists that everyone else seems to be able to go to as a matter of course. This meant for me that when I found this solution, I came to it with a fresh mind (or as fresh as it can be when you're suffering from anxiety!) and no conflicting ideas from anyone else. I never allowed myself to think for a second that it couldn't work because I was at the end of my rope and so desperately didn't want to be on medication anymore (which wasn't working anyway as I still had most of my syptoms).

It makes ME want to cry reading everyone elses posts and recognising all the same symptoms that I experienced, knowing as well that I found a solution and I want to shout it from the rooftops that THIS WORKS but I can't because I know only that it worked for ME and the person that I am and that it may not be appropriate for everyone with the condition.
I will just say that the turnaround was almost instantaneous and as I said in my first post I went from 10 full blown a day to none and have stayed that way ever since. That is quicker than ANY medication (bar a general anasthetic!) could have relieved the symptoms so it is worth a try surely to anyone willing to give it a go..

As to your not reading and writing because you're visual, you're reading these posts aren't you? You're writing replies? You may be more literally keyed than you think! Thanks for the reply, all the best for your recovery which is just around the corner :)