Help with derealization

[southernsassyyy]

This is going to be long, I'm sorry. Please, someone just read this and help me. Okay, so I have been an anxiety sufferer all my life that I can remember. I struggled with actual panic attacks from the time I was about 9 til I was 18. I'm now 20, and for the past 2 years up until now I have experienced a blissfully basically anxiety free life. But Wednesday, everything changed. It all started with feeling a little anxious at lunch with my mom and a friend. Sometimes that happens, no big deal, so I went home to rest. From there, things got weird. I started FLIPPING OUT over nothing. Everything looked weird, my mind was racing with scary thoughts, and I was terrified of my own self and what I might do. I thought I was dying and going crazy. I called an ambulance, but my mother ended up driving me to the hospital. Heart rate and blood pressure were up, and they gave me a shot of Vistaril. All that went down and I was sent home, but ever since then, I haven't felt right. I feel like I'm in a daze or a dream, like my head is foggy or cloudy, and the world just isn't the same as it was before. It's worse in bright light, but it's always there. It hasn't lifted at all for 4 days now. I have been so anxious/unreal feeling that I have had to miss work and school, which is really not an option at this point in my life. I just cannot get it together. My life and the world just feel strange, and I can't shake it. I'm almost in tears because I feel this will never go away or that I'm going to have to learn to live this way. I feel like I'm too young to be cursed with this, that I haven't lived enough. I know that's depressing, it's just how I feel. I think about the past in terms of "my old self". I just can't take this. I researched it online which has only made it worse. I've determined that it is "derealization" and people talk about feeling this way for weeks, months, years... AND STILL NOT HAVING IT GO AWAY! I don't see how I can live this way even another few days. Has anyone experienced relief from this, and if so how? I have to get back to my college and job! I have a life and I need to reclaim it! Please help :(

[jamus75]

Derealization is so common with most of us. I've been to the ER by ambulance 3 times. Pulse and BP both way up. I usually clm down after being there for a while and after they run all the tests and say " nothing's wrong ".

[ceb82383]

I have experienced it several times, and like you, I don't have an option to lay in bed until it goes away.... I don't really have a way I make it go away, I just try to get out with someone that I know well, and try to make myself feel normal day by day. Mine usually goes away within 1 week, but it always has went away. I'm sorry I KNOW how horrible it is, you feel so helpless. I know that mine is triggered by alcohol so now I do not touch any alcohol at all. Have you been subconsciously stressed out? My therapist seems to think when it all come to a head per-say, is when I have these "spells/instances" of derealization. Just try to rest and do what you can do to get by the next few days. Don't read about it and others experiences that will just make you panic more. Relax, lay down in the quite and try to decompress. It will go away.

[southernsassyyy]

I'm going to the doctor tomorrow, and thinking of asking for Klonopin, which has helped me with anxiety problems in the past. Do you think it will help with the DR? I have read online that some people have had great success with it, but of course with me suffering from anxiety, I'm terrified that it won't work for me and my derealization will never go away! Thoughts?

[ceb82383]

I'm not sure, I have never taken it, so I can't say. I didn't know what derealization was until after I had it, and I have has it happen for 2 years now so I haven't treated it. Do you just see a family doctor or a specialist? So important to see the right doc to help you. Keep me posted after your appt tomorrow, good luck, it will be fine

[acetone]

Benzos(klonopin) are for short term relief only. Instead of trying benzos try an SSRI (prozac,zoloft,paxil etc). I occasionally have brief episodes of depersonalization/derealization too.

[southernsassyyy]

Okay, so went to the doctor today and got some clonazepam (klonopin) .5mg and some atenolol (sp?) apparently for blood pressure, but it is supposed to help too? Anxiety has calmed at certain points today, but I still don't feel well. I'm becoming hopeless that this feeling of derealization is here to stay. Doctor was reassuring and said I'd be better in no time. She says that the Yaz I started taking on Sunday is the likely culprit of all this, and once it clears my system, I will be better. I hope she is right. Feeling this way is getting old and fast. I'm scared about having to drop out of school and quit my job (thus meaning my bills will go unpaid) if I can't get this under control fast. Someone please tell me it will get better soon! I am struggling here and about to lose hope.

[Andrew Marino]

wow yea yaz is not good...they just put out a medical warning about that stuff...the doctor might be right...the yaz might be causing that. Although, when i had really bad anxiety attacks i took klonopin and it made it worse. I felt even more nervous and anxious. For me ativan works great.

[Ktp21]

My heart goes out to you because I understand, feeling weird is never fun, and worrying about it constantly is terribly annoying and stressful as . Just try to tell yourself you WILL overcome and get through this. Have faith. Everything is going to be okay and this will pass. Take care.

[Courtneykinns]

I suffered with derealization for a few weeks, you know what helped? Getting out of stressful situations, i hungout with people who made me comfortable & got my mind off of things & it went away. You just have to get your stress low & anxiety low.

[southernsassyyy]

Tried to go to work today and I couldn't. I just feel like a zombie, and have for 6 days now. I'm absolutely at my wit's end. Someone please have some advice to help me! I want to be ME again. This derealization is HELL!!!

[manz82]

The worst thing you can do is worry about it! - let me explain why... This zombie feeling, as though you're living in a dream or you don't recognise things or people around you, are all common when dealing with anxiety. It's your mind shutting off to give itself a rest from all the thoughts that are bouncing around at a thousand miles an hour. I know how you feel, I've even had really scary moments where I don't even feel close to my own children, but now I know what it is I let it drift over me. I let my brain take that break it so desperately needs, and I'm soon back to 'normal'. Trust me, you're ok. Xx

[anxiousmal]

Yea, I agree just relax and not worry about it. I've had it too and no, it's not nice but it is only temporary. Just dont stress yourself out and try to keep your mind off it. Your not going crazy or anything, it will pass.

[southernsassyyy]

Haven't been on in a while because I have been very busy going to doctors and such, but I just wanted to update you guys on how I am doing. The blood work that I had done came back, and it turns out I have an autoimmune thyroid disease called Hashimoto's. Apparently, it is something you are born with, and it progressively gets worse and causes more symptoms as time goes on and it goes untreated. My primary care doctor referred me to an endocrinologist, who thinks my symptoms are because of that and not the Yaz. I have seen a vast improvement in how I feel since starting thyroid meds, as well as Celexa for my depression/anxiety, but my derealization is definitely still here to a degree. I feel I am improving, but somedays I feel like I will never feel like my "old self" again. I'm still currently not driving, took the semester off school, and quit my job. My parents, extended family, boyfriend, and friends are being wonderful! They understand my mood swings, panic attacks, and the fact that I get tired very easily. As bad as I feel at some points, I do feel very blessed. So yeah, that's how I'm doing. Oh, and also, the endocrinologist prescribed me Xanax because the Klonopin wasn't helping me, and it doesn't help much either. I think benzos just don't work for me! But anyways! Thank you all for your kind words! I can't wait to get on here and tell you all I am totally better!

[angellisa6875]

im going through this right now n i feel so ill like im not here i wake up in morning full of dread im scared of everything anyone the same im living in hell n i dont know how much more i can take in this life im scared xxx

[southernsassyyy]

I understand that totally! My DP/DR is always worse in the morning and I feel almost normal at night. It's weird. I can tell you it does get better though, and even though I still feel nowhere near normal, it's getting better everyday. Go to a doctor and get checked out. Try some meds. Lean on your family & friends, and if you believe in God, definitely lean on Him! You are in my prayers sweetie. Those of us who have experienced this horrible feeling are true warriors!