Fear of death??

[kjt]

I'm 16 and the past few days I've been obsessing over death. I'm terrified to die and hate the unknown. I don't know how it started, but it hasn't stopped since. I think about it all the time. It's just awful.
I've been raised Catholic, but lately I've been doubting whether or not there is an afterlife. I've talked to my mother about it, and she says there is no pressure for me to believe in it, but that she personally does.
I want there to be, the idea of just dying, and being nothing, not existing anymore really frightens me. People say "you didn't exist before you were born and you were just fine," but it hasn't helped.
I make myself worry, and tell myself, "What's the point in trying to make myself better, what's the point in living and enjoying life if I'm just going to die?"
I've always been worried about dying young, I have this idea in my head that I have cancer or something.
I talked to my therapist last night, but he almost made me feel worse!
I really feel terrible, and I'm worried that unlike my other obsessive worries, this one will not ever really go away.
I want to be able to be comfortable with death.



Also, my therapist prescribed me Prozac, and I may start taking it for the fist time tomorrow morning. (Have never taken medication)

[johnmawson]

Here's my advice to you:

Step one:
Pray
If you're looking for a religious answer, ask the one true 100% reliable source... GOD!
It may seem silly, feel kind of strange and uncomfortable at first, but the more you pray, the more you start to receive answers.
God will show you the way, just have an open mind and an open heart and he will enter.

I was an atheist my entire life, and this right here was what changed my mind in an instant!

If there was no Devine being or creator (God) then the world would have had to be infinite. Meaning, we have had to have always existed, EVEN if that means, that the single reaction that created the big bang was the only thing, that itself would have HAD to have always existed.. We simply can't come from nothing at all!
Einstein - "Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another."

SO, that means that everything in the universe is an infinite.
When you think about infinite, there is NO start, there is NO middle, there is NO end. It's like a circle, only it never goes back around to the beginning...
For this to be physically possible, nothing, and I must stress NOTHING! can ever change, nor move, nor be any different. For if anything moved, that would be growth, and for there to be growth, there has to be a start somewhere, and for there to have been a start somewhere, there HAD to have been a creator, OR the world is NOT an infinite.
Think of it like a painting. For a painting to be without a creator, it has to be blank. The paint and the colors can't come from nothing! There wouldn't be anybody to paint the painting, or do a single thing to it, because without a creator, this painting can't be painted. This painting, if it ALWAYS existed, would be a valid thing, because it was already there, and has not moved, nor grown nor changed. It is possible.
If the painting were to have been painted and changed, it would have HAD to have a creator. Because as soon as ONE thing changes on the painting, it is no longer infinite.
The world CAN'T be infinite when it is constantly in motion and changing, that is impossible!
The world can only be possible if it were NOT infinite, but a creation of an infinite being!

That is where God comes in.
God IS infinite.
He goes beyond science and law.
God is all knowing, all loving, all powerful.
He is and always will be
and has and always has been
This is infinite.

I know this doesn't make a whole lot of sense.. But I did my best

If you have any questions, I'd be more than happy to answer them, just shoot a reply and I'll do my best to give you the answer, or find one for you.

God Bless

[dazza]

Death is a very difficult concept to swallow for EVERYONE.

However, it ONLY becomes a problem when you start dwelling on it.

At 16, you probably have a good 70 years left - so start worrying around the year 2083.

[xxcraigiexx]

I am the same way, the fear of death has overtaken my life for the past year and I have tried almost everything to stop it, meds dont help and I always feel like i am suffocating. Im 26 and I know there is probably no real reason for me to worry. I think my problem started when I was working in an emergency room, I worked there for three years absolutely fine but by the fourth year I was overcome with panic attacks and anxiety. It all centers around the fear of death. I was brought up Catholic and I believe in god but it is so hard for me to try and understand why this is happening to me...I guess I am not meant to understand...I just want my life back :(

[johnmawson]

I felt the same way! I couldn't understand why God was doing this to me.. But here's what somebody very wise once told me, that helped me out, and got me to stop thinking this was a bad thing, but more of a blessing.


"Imagine this scenario for a second. You are a farmer (human) who owns cattle near a main road in Northern California... You do your best to look out for the cattle, and you truly care about them.
The next few weeks, you notice that your cattle is decreasing each day. And the culprit, a big brown bear.
Now you the farmer who loves ALL creatures big and small, good and "bad". Does not want to hurt the bear, but you don't want your cattle being killed either.
You also know that the bear who is able to break through the gates and fences unlike the cattle, is soon to wonder into the middle of the road and cause a tragic accident.
So what do you do?
You put down a bunch of bear traps on the outskirts of the farm, knowing that when the bear is caught, you will be able to relocate him away form mainland into his natural environment.
What happens?
The bear walks right into the trap and is stuck.
What the bear is thinking - "That farmer is making me suffer, why does he hate me, what did I do wrong, why does he want to punish and kill me...?"
What the farmer is thinking - This pain may be temporary, but this is for your own safety and the safety of others.
What happens next, is the farmer, fearing the bear ripping his foot off, and injuring the farmer, gets out his tranquilizer gun and puts the bear to sleep.
What does the bear think - "This farmer is going to kill me.. Why do I deserve this... This is terrible...nothing good can come of this"
What does the farmer think - "Good, now the bear will not endanger himself, and he will not feel pain"
The farmer then relocates the bear into the wild and stitches up the leg, gives him some heavy painkillers, and puts a cast on it, that will naturally wear away in a few days (be creative here, i know this is a little bit of a stretch but I'm sure you follow)
What does the bear think "The farmer has poisoned me.. I can't feel my leg! I can't walk very good, and he has graffitied me with a cloth on my leg..."
What does the farmer think "The bear will be safe now. He has painkillers to stop the pain until it naturally passes, and a nice cast on his leg that will stop the wound from getting infected. He is now in his natural habitat, where he will be able to live a long life undisturbed by civilization."

Now the farmer is like God in this scenario, and we are like the bear!
We will NEVER have the wisdom of God, just like the bear will never have the wisdom of the human farmer.
We may think that things are so bad and that we don't deserve them. But we can't see things from God's perspective. And even though we think what we are going through is bad, we can't yet see the good it has to bring, in this life or the next.

For me, I had anxiety for 18 years, and I have overcome it now.
I believe God gave me anxiety and the strength and knowledge to overcome it, so that I could do just that, and inspire, encourage and help other people round the world do just that too. And that is what I have done, and am continuing to do.

My free book, and website's links are on my page if you want to check them out

[dazza]

I felt the same way! I couldn't understand why God was doing this to me.. But here's what somebody very wise once told me, that helped me out, and got me to stop thinking this was a bad thing, but more of a blessing.

"Imagine this scenario for a second. You are a farmer (human) who owns cattle near a main road in Northern California... You do your best to look out for the cattle, and you truly care about them.
The next few weeks, you notice that your cattle is decreasing each day. And the culprit, a big brown bear.
Now you the farmer who loves ALL creatures big and small, good and "bad". Does not want to hurt the bear, but you don't want your cattle being killed either.
You also know that the bear who is able to break through the gates and fences unlike the cattle, is soon to wonder into the middle of the road and cause a tragic accident.
So what do you do?
You put down a bunch of bear traps on the outskirts of the farm, knowing that when the bear is caught, you will be able to relocate him away form mainland into his natural environment.
What happens?
The bear walks right into the trap and is stuck.
What the bear is thinking - "That farmer is making me suffer, why does he hate me, what did I do wrong, why does he want to punish and kill me...?"
What the farmer is thinking - This pain may be temporary, but this is for your own safety and the safety of others.
What happens next, is the farmer, fearing the bear ripping his foot off, and injuring the farmer, gets out his tranquilizer gun and puts the bear to sleep.
What does the bear think - "This farmer is going to kill me.. Why do I deserve this... This is terrible...nothing good can come of this"
What does the farmer think - "Good, now the bear will not endanger himself, and he will not feel pain"
The farmer then relocates the bear into the wild and stitches up the leg, gives him some heavy painkillers, and puts a cast on it, that will naturally wear away in a few days (be creative here, i know this is a little bit of a stretch but I'm sure you follow)
What does the bear think "The farmer has poisoned me.. I can't feel my leg! I can't walk very good, and he has graffitied me with a cloth on my leg..."
What does the farmer think "The bear will be safe now. He has painkillers to stop the pain until it naturally passes, and a nice cast on his leg that will stop the wound from getting infected. He is now in his natural habitat, where he will be able to live a long life undisturbed by civilization."

Now the farmer is like God in this scenario, and we are like the bear!
We will NEVER have the wisdom of God, just like the bear will never have the wisdom of the human farmer.
We may think that things are so bad and that we don't deserve them. But we can't see things from God's perspective. And even though we think what we are going through is bad, we can't yet see the good it has to bring, in this life or the next.

For me, I had anxiety for 18 years, and I have overcome it now.
I believe God gave me anxiety and the strength and knowledge to overcome it, so that I could do just that, and inspire, encourage and help other people round the world do just that too. And that is what I have done, and am continuing to do.

My free book, and website's links are on my page if you want to check them out

I dont believe in god & I got over it in a year.

God didnt give me anxiety - the fear of a heart attack did.

Has it made me stronger?
Yeah - im a fighter & hate losing. God had bugger all to do with it, imo.

As for the bear + farmer story... LOL

[jhunter89]

I dont believe in god & I got over it in a year.

God didnt give me anxiety - the fear of a heart attack did.

Has it made me stronger?
Yeah - im a fighter & hate losing. God had bugger all to do with it, imo.

As for the bear + farmer story... LOL

Don't mock people's beliefs :P

[johnmawson]

I dont believe in god & I got over it in a year.

God didnt give me anxiety - the fear of a heart attack did.

Has it made me stronger?
Yeah - im a fighter & hate losing. God had bugger all to do with it, imo.

As for the bear + farmer story... LOL

Well that's your own personal belief and you're entitled to it.
My response was directed to the two people who talked about God, not you who didn't mention it.

I'm glad you've overcome your anxiety, no matter how you did or believed to have done it.
Religion is not necessarily why we're here. Anxiety is.
So I respect your religious beliefs. But I ask that you don't mock mine. That doesn't look good, do good or help anybody out.
If you don't like it, ignore it.

[dazza]

Well that's your own personal belief and you're entitled to it.
My response was directed to the two people who talked about God, not you who didn't mention it.

I'm glad you've overcome your anxiety, no matter how you did or believed to have done it.
Religion is not necessarily why we're here. Anxiety is.
So I respect your religious beliefs. But I ask that you don't mock mine. That doesn't look good, do good or help anybody out.
If you don't like it, ignore it.

yep, it is... & i have just as much right to air it as thee.

If I said an alien landed on my garden & touched me - which cured my anxiety... youd look at me like i was nuts.

EXACTLY the same thing imo. Unless you can show it... its all fictional nonsense.

[dazza]

yep, it is... & i have just as much right to air it as thee.

If I said an alien landed on my garden & touched me - which cured my anxiety... youd look at me like i was nuts.

EXACTLY the same thing imo. Unless you can show it... its all fictional nonsense.

Its all about BELIEF & hope. Mans best friend i guess... but the trouble is man doesnt believe in himself... so he turns to this fictional comfort thing called god.

[johnmawson]

Its all about BELIEF & hope. Mans best friend i guess... but the trouble is man doesnt believe in himself... so he turns to this fictional comfort thing called god.

Believe what you like, that's fine with me.
But let me ask you:
if it's fictional.. Where is the evidence that God doesn't exist...?
I can say the same thing as atheism: There is more "evidence" that atheism is more fictional than most world wide religions.
If you look at the science behind evolution.. it isn't there! Not at ALL!
There are SO many missing links
And the universe coming from a non-creator would make it an infinite.
Think about the infinite clause I presented above.. It is NOT possible.
So maybe that doesn't mean that it came from a God, I can accept that
But it CERTAINLY leaves a big WTF for atheism.
We came from something that was always existent? AND we have a big bang, and constant change?
You CAN'T have that in an infinite. With an infinite, there is no repeat, there is no middle, no end and no beginning!
That means everything that is infinite would have to be 100% motionless and never to have changed one single bit! otherwise it had a start and is going through motion, so it is linear. Linear HAS to have a beginning (a creator.. call it god or call it the infinite) But it has to be a higher source than what we are presented with!
something that IS infinite, that is PERFECT that is above science

Don't argue for the sake of arguing. Nobody wins, it's not healthy and what really is the point...?

You can more than happily live your life with an atheistic view, that's fine with me.
Just because yours is different to mine, does not mean one has the right to put down the others.
I didn't put down yours until you called it fictional and were quite rude. There was no need for that.
You clearly haven't looked into Christianity OR atheism. And believe me, those who look truly into Atheism, such as Richard Dawkins are some of the most depressed, deranged and hateful people I've seen. Why? Because atheism = NO life purpose.. There can not be one! without a higher establishment, what is morals other than a set of governed rules?
Are we living to please each other?
But that can't be so when if that were the case, why are we not?

If we are living to learn something and grow. then that entails a higher being since our purpose would be going beyond ourself...

Or do we simply live to make our chemical reactions a positive one?
And really, without religion, there is no happy or sad, good or bad.. What is moral value without a moral basis? That HAD to have come from someone higher than ourself in the very beginning! I mean WHY is it bad to kill people, why do they deserve the right to live out in a chemical body...?
That goes into morals and morals are nothing more than a religious set of values we believe to uphold...

If you truly were an atheist, you'd believe 100% that you can go out and do whatever the fuck you like, and that nobody has the right to stop you, because morally you have committed no wrong. You have just been a scientist, and ended ones physical chemical composition..

But another random point

What about "Energy (Matter) can't be created nor destroyed, only changed"
We ARE energy, and science can prove that 100%..
Our mind is our biggest form of energy
Our mind is our soul
Where does that go when we die...
Let science prove that one, and then I'll go back to being an athiest.

I've lived an athiest, I've studied it in depth.. It's not for me, its very lonely sad and bitter.

And I've studied christianity. It makes sense (TO ME) and it fits with the world and answers all of my questions. So that is what I'm happy to stay with


Sorry If i seem like an asshole.
I am (at times)

I don't wish anything bad upon you
and I don't mean to be a jerk.. It just happens.

I do not think any less of you for having different beliefs to me.
You ARE my equal, and I shall do my best to treat you as one.

Good day
and
God bless

[sandyrdh1]

Believe what you like, that's fine with me.
But let me ask you:
if it's fictional.. Where is the evidence that God doesn't exist...?
I can say the same thing as atheism: There is more "evidence" that atheism is more fictional than most world wide religions.
If you look at the science behind evolution.. it isn't there! Not at ALL!
There are SO many missing links
And the universe coming from a non-creator would make it an infinite.
Think about the infinite clause I presented above.. It is NOT possible.
So maybe that doesn't mean that it came from a God, I can accept that
But it CERTAINLY leaves a big WTF for atheism.
We came from something that was always existent? AND we have a big bang, and constant change?
You CAN'T have that in an infinite. With an infinite, there is no repeat, there is no middle, no end and no beginning!
That means everything that is infinite would have to be 100% motionless and never to have changed one single bit! otherwise it had a start and is going through motion, so it is linear. Linear HAS to have a beginning (a creator.. call it god or call it the infinite) But it has to be a higher source than what we are presented with!
something that IS infinite, that is PERFECT that is above science

Don't argue for the sake of arguing. Nobody wins, it's not healthy and what really is the point...?

You can more than happily live your life with an atheistic view, that's fine with me.
Just because yours is different to mine, does not mean one has the right to put down the others.
I didn't put down yours until you called it fictional and were quite rude. There was no need for that.
You clearly haven't looked into Christianity OR atheism. And believe me, those who look truly into Atheism, such as Richard Dawkins are some of the most depressed, deranged and hateful people I've seen. Why? Because atheism = NO life purpose.. There can not be one! without a higher establishment, what is morals other than a set of governed rules?
Are we living to please each other?
But that can't be so when if that were the case, why are we not?

If we are living to learn something and grow. then that entails a higher being since our purpose would be going beyond ourself...

Or do we simply live to make our chemical reactions a positive one?
And really, without religion, there is no happy or sad, good or bad.. What is moral value without a moral basis? That HAD to have come from someone higher than ourself in the very beginning! I mean WHY is it bad to kill people, why do they deserve the right to live out in a chemical body...?
That goes into morals and morals are nothing more than a religious set of values we believe to uphold...

If you truly were an atheist, you'd believe 100% that you can go out and do whatever the fuck you like, and that nobody has the right to stop you, because morally you have committed no wrong. You have just been a scientist, and ended ones physical chemical composition..

But another random point

What about "Energy (Matter) can't be created nor destroyed, only changed"
We ARE energy, and science can prove that 100%..
Our mind is our biggest form of energy
Our mind is our soul
Where does that go when we die...
Let science prove that one, and then I'll go back to being an athiest.

I've lived an athiest, I've studied it in depth.. It's not for me, its very lonely sad and bitter.

And I've studied christianity. It makes sense (TO ME) and it fits with the world and answers all of my questions. So that is what I'm happy to stay with

Sorry If i seem like an asshole.
I am (at times)

I don't wish anything bad upon you
and I don't mean to be a jerk.. It just happens.

I do not think any less of you for having different beliefs to me.
You ARE my equal, and I shall do my best to treat you as one.

Good day
and
God bless

Well said! :) why can't we just all quit bashing others. Does it really matter. We all have beliefs so if your is not the same you don't have to make such a mean comment dazza, just don't comment to the post. This site is suppose to help encourage others not knock them down when you disagree with something someone posts.

[bonny]

I have the same problem since I was a child and still the same

[bigtymeks]

I felt the same way! I couldn't understand why God was doing this to me.. But here's what somebody very wise once told me, that helped me out, and got me to stop thinking this was a bad thing, but more of a blessing.


"Imagine this scenario for a second. You are a farmer (human) who owns cattle near a main road in Northern California... You do your best to look out for the cattle, and you truly care about them.
The next few weeks, you notice that your cattle is decreasing each day. And the culprit, a big brown bear.
Now you the farmer who loves ALL creatures big and small, good and "bad". Does not want to hurt the bear, but you don't want your cattle being killed either.
You also know that the bear who is able to break through the gates and fences unlike the cattle, is soon to wonder into the middle of the road and cause a tragic accident.
So what do you do?
You put down a bunch of bear traps on the outskirts of the farm, knowing that when the bear is caught, you will be able to relocate him away form mainland into his natural environment.
What happens?
The bear walks right into the trap and is stuck.
What the bear is thinking - "That farmer is making me suffer, why does he hate me, what did I do wrong, why does he want to punish and kill me...?"
What the farmer is thinking - This pain may be temporary, but this is for your own safety and the safety of others.
What happens next, is the farmer, fearing the bear ripping his foot off, and injuring the farmer, gets out his tranquilizer gun and puts the bear to sleep.
What does the bear think - "This farmer is going to kill me.. Why do I deserve this... This is terrible...nothing good can come of this"
What does the farmer think - "Good, now the bear will not endanger himself, and he will not feel pain"
The farmer then relocates the bear into the wild and stitches up the leg, gives him some heavy painkillers, and puts a cast on it, that will naturally wear away in a few days (be creative here, i know this is a little bit of a stretch but I'm sure you follow)
What does the bear think "The farmer has poisoned me.. I can't feel my leg! I can't walk very good, and he has graffitied me with a cloth on my leg..."
What does the farmer think "The bear will be safe now. He has painkillers to stop the pain until it naturally passes, and a nice cast on his leg that will stop the wound from getting infected. He is now in his natural habitat, where he will be able to live a long life undisturbed by civilization."

Now the farmer is like God in this scenario, and we are like the bear!
We will NEVER have the wisdom of God, just like the bear will never have the wisdom of the human farmer.
We may think that things are so bad and that we don't deserve them. But we can't see things from God's perspective. And even though we think what we are going through is bad, we can't yet see the good it has to bring, in this life or the next.

For me, I had anxiety for 18 years, and I have overcome it now.
I believe God gave me anxiety and the strength and knowledge to overcome it, so that I could do just that, and inspire, encourage and help other people round the world do just that too. And that is what I have done, and am continuing to do.

My free book, and website's links are on my page if you want to check them out

Not sure what I believe in but that was a very good story/ way of putting it!! I do believe that everything happens for a reason!! I too wish I could be comfortable with death... It's literally something I would hold my hands over my ears and hummm like a little kid to not even hear anyone talking about it... So I guess it's a good thing I can even read this!! As far as obsessing about it all the time.... I think the whole anxiety thing for most of us has to do alot with death or something (anything) horribly bad happening to us right? So, we are all probably obsessing about at least something like death, weather it be having a heart attack, going insane, ect, ect... So, although easier said than done, we must not obsess about all this.. Or at least TRY not to.. Ugh, this is so hard for me to even write because I struggle with this so much myself and don't really know what or how I think about all of it.. I do know that worrying about something that PROBABLY won't happen anyways isn't going to make it better or NOT happen if it were really going to happen anyways... If that makes sense.. As far as "why Live if we are going to die anyways"... That makes me think of the saying "It's better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all". Also, I started having anxiety and pannic when I was 16 and didn't get myself into therapy until I was 25 years old and then had full blown agoraphobia and couldn't even leave my house... I had only taken meds for it before that... So, while I do think meds can give you some relief I do suggest therapy for this. Even if the meds do help you feel better.. I sure am kickn myself in the butt for not doing it sooner so I always like to stress to people how important it is to do the work in therapy.. Otherwise I kind of think it's like taking a pain killer for a broken leg without going to the doctor and having them put it back in place and get a cast so It can heal properly.. You will more than likely always still have problems with that leg even if it doesn't hurt all the time because of the pain killers...