Good or Bad?

[Cara1989]

Sooo I haven't had a full panic attack in a couple of weeks I've been able to keep them under control I've went to the store and my doctors which is really good compared to what I was doing but from the time I wake up from the time I go to bed I have this strange bad feeling that never goes away like I just fight threw it everyday I feel numb I still cry during the day still have derealization really bad and question myself all the time...am I getting better or is my symptoms going from 1 to the other I'm still scared that I'm either gonna die or go crazy like outta my mind and never come back...I use to have like chest pain and I would think it was heartache and panic and worry now because I don't feel like myself I feel ill never get better and one day I won't know who I am =_= <3 for all the ppl strong enough to go through this shit everyday! We are stronger then most

[laurandisorder]

You haven't had a full blown attack for a few weeks - this is AWESOME. It means you are familiar with the symptoms you are facing every day and you ARE getting better.

This doesn't mean you won't have an attack ever again - they're sneaky and persistent! However you are well on the way to getting better.

The derealisation and depersonalization are both just symptoms of your anxiety. They are nothing to be afraid of and you will get used to them, so you can push through them. Well done!!

[a l i c i a]

Sooo I haven't had a full panic attack in a couple of weeks I've been able to keep them under control I've went to the store and my doctors which is really good compared to what I was doing but from the time I wake up from the time I go to bed I have this strange bad feeling that never goes away like I just fight threw it everyday I feel numb I still cry during the day still have derealization really bad and question myself all the time...am I getting better or is my symptoms going from 1 to the other I'm still scared that I'm either gonna die or go crazy like outta my mind and never come back...I use to have like chest pain and I would think it was heartache and panic and worry now because I don't feel like myself I feel ill never get better and one day I won't know who I am =_= <3 for all the ppl strong enough to go through this shit everyday! We are stronger then most

I've noticed a pattern with my anxiety. I'll go from having a panic attack like once a week then ill start having them daily. I get to a point after that where I'm just anxious all day long and I just feel strange. I feel just Ike you about it. I've had these problem since I was so young that I feel like I'll never know myself. This is exhausting. I hope it means your getting better though! Your pregnant right? My youngest just turned two months and I noticed my anxiety was way worse while I was pregnant with him. I think it's all the hormones!

[Saldav]

^Alicia is right your hormones and you not being able to take meds cause your pregos is going to have you jacked up for a bit. Stay positive cara. you got this!

[Saldav]

^Alicia is right your hormones and you not being able to take meds cause your pregos is going to have you jacked up for a bit. Stay positive cara. you got this!

[Saldav]

^Alicia is right your hormones and you not being able to take meds cause your pregos is going to have you jacked up for a bit. Stay positive cara. you got this!

So nice I said it twice

[Cara1989]

Thx u this derealization/depersonlization is kicking my ass :(

[Saldav]

Thx u this derealization/depersonlization is kicking my ass :(

Cara I'm going through this derealization/depersonalization as I write this. It's very hard to even continue writing, but I'll try and explain what I feel.

I'm home but feel like a guess in my own home.

I want to be here but I don't at the same time.

I feel like I don't belong here.

I feel unease.

I feel confused, scared and don't look forward to anything, but that could be my depression kicking in.

I have no interest in doing anything.

I have no appetite :( l love food

I'm worried about this feeling never going away.

This took me about a hour to finish writing. Ok now is when I usually take a pill, but I'm not going to. I will post a thread later of my feelings.

The reason why I'm doing this is cause I know your not able to take meds cause of your pregnancy. I've been in your shoes where I'm not been able to take my meds for whatever reasons, but never wrote what I was feeling at the moment.

To be continued

[kdubg]

For me it seems like ill have a really really bad day. And from that it takes a week or two to feel better. I'm on Zoloft and lamotrigine that I take nightly. I'm also prescribed Xanax only .25 mg and haven't had to take one in almost a month! Unfortunately I slept horribly last night and anxiety came back like a bat outta hell today. I've been pretty worried about not being able to find a job even though I'm a college grad. Then my ribs get sore or I get a cramp in my arm and I am convinced there's something wrong with my heart. I'm in great health, and my last doctor visit he told me he didnt need to see me again for another six months! I hate how our minds have so much power.

[Saldav]

For me it seems like ill have a really really bad day. And from that it takes a week or two to feel better. I'm on Zoloft and lamotrigine that I take nightly. I'm also prescribed Xanax only .25 mg and haven't had to take one in almost a month! Unfortunately I slept horribly last night and anxiety came back like a bat outta hell today. I've been pretty worried about not being able to find a job even though I'm a college grad. Then my ribs get sore or I get a cramp in my arm and I am convinced there's something wrong with my heart. I'm in great health, and my last doctor visit he told me he didnt need to see me again for another six months! I hate how our minds have so much power.

How many mg of Zoloft are u taking

[Cara1989]

Cara I'm going through this derealization/depersonalization as I write this. It's very hard to even continue writing, but I'll try and explain what I feel.

I'm home but feel like a guess in my own home.

I want to be here but I don't at the same time.

I feel like I don't belong here.

I feel unease.

I feel confused, scared and don't look forward to anything, but that could be my depression kicking in.

I have no interest in doing anything.

I have no appetite :( l love food

I'm worried about this feeling never going away.

This took me about a hour to finish writing. Ok now is when I usually take a pill, but I'm not going to. I will post a thread later of my feelings.

The reason why I'm doing this is cause I know your not able to take meds cause of your pregnancy. I've been in your shoes where I'm not been able to take my meds for whatever reasons, but never wrote what I was feeling at the moment.

To be continued

Wow I feel just like u I feel like a stranger in my own home its scary never getting relief from anything it sucks :/ idk what imma do when I go into labor T__T

[Cara1989]

For me it seems like ill have a really really bad day. And from that it takes a week or two to feel better. I'm on Zoloft and lamotrigine that I take nightly. I'm also prescribed Xanax only .25 mg and haven't had to take one in almost a month! Unfortunately I slept horribly last night and anxiety came back like a bat outta hell today. I've been pretty worried about not being able to find a job even though I'm a college grad. Then my ribs get sore or I get a cramp in my arm and I am convinced there's something wrong with my heart. I'm in great health, and my last doctor visit he told me he didnt need to see me again for another six months! I hate how our minds have so much power.

And its like my mind is on panic 24 7 if my arm hurts I must be dieing its stupid and I don't know how to stop it

[Cara1989]

Ill probably never take meds lol I took paxel because I felt this way 2 years ago and that shit made it 10 times worse my body was litterally numb when I showered I could just feel the pressure of the water nothing else it scared the hell out of me I quit takin it and sit around for a while but eventually I got well no counsling no meds nothing and if I could do it then we can do it :) might be 20 times harder without meds but u can do it lol

[kdubg]

How many mg of Zoloft are u taking

I'm on 200 mg a day. I know everyone says its "too much" but I see a psychiatrist monthly and it's just for anxiety not depression or anything

[kdubg]

And its like my mind is on panic 24 7 if my arm hurts I must be dieing its stupid and I don't know how to stop it

I feel you. My mind is literally never calm. The only things that really help me tend to be the forums and trying to stay occupied, but its really hard to do 247. Pretty much 3 hours after I get up in the morning I'm already completely mentally and physically exhausted from all my worrying

[Saldav]

I'm on 200 mg a day. I know everyone says its "too much" but I see a psychiatrist monthly and it's just for anxiety not depression or anything

200 mg is also what I take, been taking it for more than ten years, I feel its not working as good for me anymore.

[Cara1989]

Anyone like think about for example u are eating and then u think am I really eating and u start to panic? Does that ever happen to y'all?

[metallijim]

Anyone like think about for example u are eating and then u think am I really eating and u start to panic? Does that ever happen to y'all?

Not so much when I'm eating. I tend to get this feeling when I'm active, especially if I'm out walking for a while.
Derealisation is the symptom I hate most. It can be very scary sometimes. Nothing worse than feeling like a stranger in my own body.

[Cara1989]

Not so much when I'm eating. I tend to get this feeling when I'm active, especially if I'm out walking for a while.
Derealisation is the symptom I hate most. It can be very scary sometimes. Nothing worse than feeling like a stranger in my own body.

That was a example but my mind thinks like that all the time :( about everything it scares the shit outta me :/

[metallijim]

That was a example but my mind thinks like that all the time :( about everything it scares the shit outta me :/

It scared the shit out of me too. I had a bad spell where I had it nearly constantly for 2 weeks. I've began to manage it better the last few weeks but if I get it bad I can begin to have a panic attack.
I just got to the stage where I just push myself through it. It is tough and I have noticed if I push myself through it a while, when I stop and relax I'm just exhausted. It takes a lot out of me.

[Cara1989]

It scared the shit out of me too. I had a bad spell where I had it nearly constantly for 2 weeks. I've began to manage it better the last few weeks but if I get it bad I can begin to have a panic attack.
I just got to the stage where I just push myself through it. It is tough and I have noticed if I push myself through it a while, when I stop and relax I'm just exhausted. It takes a lot out of me.

Imma get emotional lol if I could give y'all a hug I would thiis is literally the hardest thing I've been through in my life its been like this for a month now :( I just want to think and feel normal again

[metallijim]

Imma get emotional lol if I could give y'all a hug I would thiis is literally the hardest thing I've been through in my life its been like this for a month now :( I just want to think and feel normal again

It's the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with too. Just to point out something you said there, you want to feel normal again. I said this to my CBT therapist today and she kinda lit on me haha. She said anxiety is normal in everyone, we all feel anxious at some stage. It affects different people in different ways, we are all different so hence what is normal?
It's actually very true, what is normal? Anxiety is a very common condition now. Everyday life has become such a stressful task in recent years, is it any wonder anxiety is on the rise?
If we constantly think we're not normal, that there is something wrong with us, we are just feeding the anxiety.
I try to look at it this way, every new day I wake up is a battle won. I've fought these feelings another day and I'm still here.
Just look back at every day you have lived with this, every one of them days gone by, you are a step closer to being free of this :)

[Cara1989]

I can't stop crying I'm so sick of this shit nothing helps I feel like something is wrong my nowhere feels safe I get no relief :( I don't want this anymore its tearin me down....

[justconfused]

I can't stop crying I'm so sick of this shit nothing helps I feel like something is wrong my nowhere feels safe I get no relief :( I don't want this anymore its tearin me down....

I've had a slip up tonight. Felt better for so long, but now can't shake this scared feeling that my heart will give out or something. I'm 19 with clean heart tests for goodness sakes. I have been crying tonight as well. I hate this feeling. Not painful, but drives me insane. It's not an adrenaline feeling, just dread. When the doc asks what is wrong I can never find the words to describe it. Just kind of takes over my head and whole body with this feeling of unease and like I am expecting something that isn't going to happen.

[Cara1989]

I've had a slip up tonight. Felt better for so long, but now can't shake this scared feeling that my heart will give out or something. I'm 19 with clean heart tests for goodness sakes. I have been crying tonight as well. I hate this feeling. Not painful, but drives me insane. It's not an adrenaline feeling, just dread. When the doc asks what is wrong I can never find the words to describe it. Just kind of takes over my head and whole body with this feeling of unease and like I am expecting something that isn't going to happen.

Yes I would take broke arms or legs then this shit :( anxiety is so hard to describe and so weird if only I could learn how to control my thinking and thoughts but I don't know where to begin

[jamus75]

You're not alone. I feel same way. Always a heart issue. I'm 37 now and have had anxiety come and go but mostly stay for over 10 years now. I have had heart test and blood test. Never find a thing. Have panic attacks when I get my vitals taken. Blood pressure and pulse both go way up. Doc thinks its medical then after test always says its anxiety. Can't shake it. I take BP meds even though I don't think I need them. Take Ativan daily. Doesn't help much. Just zonks me out. Keep trying little things to help me relax. Nothing works. Also see a shrink. No help. Guess next step is meds like Zoloft or buspar. Don't really want to go down that path but think I may have to.

[bajablue]

I can't stop crying I'm so sick of this shit nothing helps I feel like something is wrong my nowhere feels safe I get no relief :( I don't want this anymore its tearin me down....

I know that feeling Cara. I am so very sick of feeling like crap; fearful....and no relief. Actually enough red wine does the trick for a couple hours and then things are worse but the brief relief - well, you know. I do know this does not help you but hell, I wanted you to know you do not suffer alone.

[trinidiva]

You're not alone. I feel same way. Always a heart issue. I'm 37 now and have had anxiety come and go but mostly stay for over 10 years now. I have had heart test and blood test. Never find a thing. Have panic attacks when I get my vitals taken. Blood pressure and pulse both go way up. Doc thinks its medical then after test always says its anxiety. Can't shake it. I take BP meds even though I don't think I need them. Take Ativan daily. Doesn't help much. Just zonks me out. Keep trying little things to help me relax. Nothing works. Also see a shrink. No help. Guess next step is meds like Zoloft or buspar. Don't really want to go down that path but think I may have to.

Your story sounds just like mine!!!! I take BP meds, although I don't think I really need them...I have gotten cardiac stress tests, MRI, all types of bloodwork done....all has come back normal....and all point to anxiety.
I finally broke down and now take small amts of Zoloft and Buspar daily even though I'm not a huge fan of taking meds. I have changed my eating habits,exercise more (this actually helps a lot), make sure o get adequate sleep, meditate, etc. It's going ok but I still have my bad days...:.its not an overnight recovery process I guess.

[thyroid77]

Im in the same boat yall are in. Diagnosed with hyperthyroidism 5 years ago. I fight panic daily. I hate the depersonalization too. I too wonder if I will ever feel like myself again! Take Lexapro, Metoprolol, and anti-thyroid hormone medicine. I take xanax as needed. Thankfully the Lexapro works wonders for me! I tried Zolof... I was so muted and numb, I couldn't cry. I was n Klonopin when I was pregnant and it helped! I was diagnosed with panic attacks and an over active thyroid when I was pregnant... Was super scary! I have come along way... I have good days and bad days.

[Cara1989]

:( I can't get use to this not here feeling seems like each day it gets worse I woke up today heads already jumbled weird feelin shakey inside feel like I don't know what's going on :(

[kdubg]

200 mg is also what I take, been taking it for more than ten years, I feel its not working as good for me anymore.

Yeah it seems to be working ok for me. But I lose my benefits in a month, so I dunno what I'm gonna do.