I am seriously dumb.

[nat87]

For the past 2 years, for some reason, I began to realize more and more what a dumb person I am. Only towards things where I am given time to put in some serious thought on, do I say/type things that make sense. I do at least 2-3 really dumb things PER DAY. Like it took me about 10 minutes to assemble a wireless vacuum cleaner that came without a manual because it was supposed to be so damn easy; I bet my friends would have been able to do it in 5. When I tried to put it back into the box but couldn't, my mum had to point out that I had put it the wrong way; it befuddles me that I can be so dumb not to think of that.

I have a terrible memory, I am horrible at thinking ahead of time, and when I come across confusing technical stuff like attaching wires or handling money, I would freeze abit when I am confused. Sometimes I don't even know I'm right since I get things wrong 9/10 times. I also have a bad habit of getting people to repeat what they say (when I can actually hear it well but need time for my brain to process the info) or reply with obvious answers. The only time I sound smart and funny is when I'm with my small group of friends, where I can make a joke out of anything. I have even written down a list of rules for myself to stop being an idiot, but I haven't been able to follow them so far. If you're curious they are:

Pursue your thoughts (I always ignore the obvious after giving it little thought).
Look from both perspectives.
Don't take chances (always "trying" stuff that any normal human could see is stupid).
Find the easiest way out (always find myself wasting time doing more than necessary).
Be certain before doing unnecessary things.
Stay calm, freeze and think for 10 seconds before speaking or acting.

It weird because although I know I've never been a very bright kid, it never affected me the way it does now...don't know if I just got dumber, or smarter and more conscious of my dumbness lol. I can't let these silly things I do pass; I get constantly angry at myself and find myself very hard to forgive. I would even slap or hurt myself in secret. I have lost my job as a customer service operator due to my inability to comprehend the complaints received. I am not sure that my level of intelligence would allow me to be successful in any industry. I also don't think I'm smart enough to be a husband or a father; I'm 25 and never had a girlfriend. By now you probably would have guessed that I am a loner; I enjoy being alone but at the same time am afraid to embarrass myself in front of people with my lack of intelligence. I only have 4 friends whom I meet like once a month. I don't have a facebook account and ignore my older friends who try to contact me because my self-esteem is too low and I can't bear going out with them and their girlfriends, while I remained such a loser. It is not rare for me to go through Monday to Friday speaking only to my parents. I also have a habit of lying a lot; my parents have no idea I've lost my job, and I constantly think of excuses not to meet up with people.

Could it be my lack of a social life that is affecting the way I think? How can I improve my thought process? I've tried food like blueberries and even nicotine patches as I've heard they stimulate thinking, but there's been no effect. I tried playing chess habitually but I am incredibly careless and get bored easily. Also tried exercising (ran 1 1/2 miles every 2 days for a month) to no avail. Any self-help books I can refer to? Or meditation? Martial arts/Sports? I'm open to all ideas. Thanks for reading =)

[B-girl]

You're deffinatly not dumb and if anything you seem to take notice of things more than the average you're just a little lacking in common sense. I'm the same, I know im smart I mean I read quantum physics for fun, but if you ask me for the remote I'll probably bring a box of cereal. You may want to try socialising a bit more having a conversation with someone is actually a great way of keeping your mind on it's toes, but I think your list is probably best, especially taking a bit more time to process what someone has said ( I may keep that if you dont mind) good luck finding whatever works for you.

[nat87]

Thank you, that was comforting to read. "Lacking in common sense" is a great description of me, don't know why I didn't mention that before. I've also discovered that I find myself too "lazy" to use my brain at times; I lose focus on the things I'm doing and let it go blank very often...it's even worse when I'm panicking. I feel that people who get straight to the point and solve problems in the fastest, most efficient way possible to be "intense"...I find them hard to keep up with. Then again, most of the people I know who are like that don't have or bother with knowledge that aren't ingrained with our daily lives, like quantum physics as you've mentioned, or the film industry or philosophy (Buddhism, Nietzsche etc) that I take an interest in. Still I would love to have more of their abilities...

[ikilledadragon]

I am dumb too. But I make straight As...

[jhunter89]

I also have a bad habit of getting people to repeat what they say (when I can actually hear it well but need time for my brain to process the info) or reply with obvious answers.
Omg! I do this too! I also feel really dumb, I know I'm not really but im always making silly mistakes, really useless with my hands and so so clumsy which makes me think I must be dumb! I also put little effort into anything i do so if it fucks up I feel less bad than if I put all my effort in and really tried hard and it fucked up if that makes sense?

[B-girl]

Yeah I feel the same way about people, they're hard to stay on the same boat with sometimes. I usually panic and then go blank so I really dont deal well under pressure, but in complete honesty I find i feel better if I say or do something nonsensical or dont catch on to just laugh it off, this is who I am I cant change it ( it helps a lot of my friends are the same so maybe you want to look to find people you can relate to and keep up with?) But yeah, maybe try laughing things off and trying again, you can only move forward

[ikilledadragon]

Me too! I have trouble processing info when I am trying to manage my appearance. Its not that you are dumb, its that you have trouble concentrating on what is being said. And yes mindfulness meditation is extremely helpful because it gives you the awareness to know when you are not paying attention. And then you can choose to stop thinking and just listen to whoever is talking to you.