Kyle74
01-17-2013, 06:53 PM
hello everyone, I just came across this forum and I thought it would be a good place to try as I dont know where else to turn at this point. Although I have never been diagnosed I have had anxiety since I was 8 years old. It would come and go lasting a few months and then leaving for a year or 2 I am now 25, and over the past 16 years or so I will get severe anxiety that will last me anywhere from 6 months to a year, this anxiety stems from nothing and causes me to worry about the unknowns, the what if's. Well about a year ago my life was going great, I was a recent college graduate had a new job that I loved and I could not be happier. One day I started having these thoughts about things that happened at college, parties, dorms, girls, dating, classes etc.. and for some reason I started to panic, I started thinking about mistakes I may have made in the past, and I start to manipulate things in my head Am I bad person? I start thinking what if this, what if that and it turned into a living hell for me. Fast forward another year, I am still in the same boat, I feel like I have so many built up regrets that I dont know what to do anymore, I feel like i am a horrible person, I feel like everything in my life I have screwed up and there is no way to make it better. I just dont know what to do, I have trouble remembering what its like to be happy. My whole life I have always tried to do the right thing, never touched any drugs, never got into trouble, in fear of dissaponting my parents, my whole life I tried to be perfect and now I just feel like a failure for things that I have made up in my head that IDK even happened. I am afraid that I will never be able to be the same "me" again, and that is the worst part of all. There have been some good days and until a few weeks ago I was doing much better, focusing on my life at hand and not things that happened 3 years ago. I'm sorry if this may seem long, it feels kind of good to get it off my chest though, thanks for reading!