Nights suck...

[n1ck13]

Just laying here, bored, alone, stressing over tomorrows events and generally just feeling sorry for myself...

[dazza]

What, just normal stress / nervous or have you got symptoms, too?

No offense, but if you don't suffer symptoms or your anxiety is of normal levels then you should think yourself lucky.

There are many folk on here that suffer horrendous symptoms associated with their anxiety.
Abnormal heart rythms, sickness, nausea, out-of-body feelings and so on.

[n1ck13]

Thanks for the support there dazza...
:/ Just like the rest of my life atm, cheers!

FYI heart pulpitations seem to control me alot lately, that and tension headaches and tears! And although I haven't had a full blow panic attack lately doesn't mean I should consider myself lucky, I dread the next one and it just seems like no one cares about me, so thank you for making me feel worse :(

[dazza]

Thanks for the support there dazza...
:/ Just like the rest of my life atm, cheers!

FYI heart pulpitations seem to control me alot lately, that and tension headaches and tears! And although I haven't had a full blow panic attack lately doesn't mean I should consider myself lucky, I dread the next one and it just seems like no one cares about me, so thank you for making me feel worse :(


Woooahh there... hold your horses.

Your original message suggested that you were just bored and feeling sorry for yourself. Whoopeeee, I thought.

This didn't really give a lot to go by and sounded fairly normal of anyone's life so I assumed you were just whinging.

Apologies, but the original message was at fault if you ask me.

[n1ck13]

Woooahh there... hold your horses.

Your original message suggested that you were just bored and feeling sorry for yourself. Whoopeeee, I thought.

This didn't really give a lot to go by and sounded fairly normal of anyone's life so I assumed you were just whinging.

Apologies, but the original message was at fault if you ask me.

It wouldn't matter what I write, you hit the nail on the head "whinging"... That's how the world sees me (if it even sees me at all) I am just everyone's scapegoat and I copped it again tonight from a staff member at work and I know I am going to be victimized tomorrow and I know that I will have a panic attack And I'm struggling with my depression.
Sorry my original MSG seemed like whinging I just wanted someone to talk to...

[dazza]

It wouldn't matter what I write, you hit the nail on the head "whinging"... That's how the world sees me (if it even sees me at all) I am just everyone's scapegoat and I copped it again tonight from a staff member at work and I know I am going to be victimized tomorrow and I know that I will have a panic attack And I'm struggling with my depression.
Sorry my original MSG seemed like whinging I just wanted someone to talk to...

Now you've made me feel bad! :-(

If you think the world sees you as a "whinger" then the world is probably right to be honest. If this is the general feeling you get from everyone then you need to consider why that is.

Many people thinking the same means that they're probably right, yes?

It's really down to you to turn this around, you know. Perhaps with the help of a professional if need be.

How old are you?

One day you'll wake up and realise that you are in control and that whinging simply gets you absolutely NO WHERE.

[n1ck13]

I just feel like no one understand me, that it's easier to blame ME for the way I feel than to actually understand what's upset me in the first place.
And I honestly have no idea how people see me I'm just assuming that my nonsense is interpreted that way because honestly no one cares... No one tries to make me happy, or to see how I am even if I was in tears the day before...
Im still having a hard time at work even tho I have tried to speak out but again no one wants to know your being bullied your just seen as a winger/the one causing problems..it doesn't even matter...

[dazza]

I just feel like no one understand me, that it's easier to blame ME for the way I feel than to actually understand what's upset me in the first place.
And I honestly have no idea how people see me I'm just assuming that my nonsense is interpreted that way because honestly no one cares... No one tries to make me happy, or to see how I am even if I was in tears the day before...
Im still having a hard time at work even tho I have tried to speak out but again no one wants to know your being bullied your just seen as a winger/the one causing problems..it doesn't even matter...

>I just feel like no one understand me, that it's easier to blame ME for the way I feel than to actually understand what's upset me in the first place

The answer to this is:

DON'T GET UPSET in the first place then!

What's the point in getting upset??? (none) where does "getting upset" get you?? (nowhere)

If someone or something is hasseling you then deal with it like an adult and don't just start crying about it!

See any sense in this?

[hunn3yy]

Jeez y'all so mean we are supposed to support each other. Being bullied sucks, I've been through it for years. And it sucks even more that its at work a place you can't avoid. I'm here to talk if you need someone. :)

[jhunter89]

Dazza ya big meanie

[n1ck13]

Jeez y'all so mean we are supposed to support each other. Being bullied sucks, I've been through it for years. And it sucks even more that its at work a place you can't avoid. I'm here to talk if you need someone. :)

Thank you!

[n1ck13]

You know, I came to this place to look for support and understanding because I feel like I get none elsewhere, but to be totally harassed for it is just cruel... It is people like you dazza that truly have no idea of the impact of their words and you should be ashamed of yourself!

[manz82]

I understand how you feel about being almost invisible to people but I think I also understand what Dazza (not very subtlety) is trying to say - and that is, if you feel like a victim you will be one.
My advice, for what it's worth, is to gradually start MAKING yourself be seen and be heard.
How?
Well, if you disagree with something, say it!
If someone upsets you TELL THEM!
If you need someone to talk to ASK!
If something makes you happy SMILE!
All the above are normal, and if you're judged for being too outspoken or too forth coming, surely that's better than crying silent tears and living in a trapped world of depression? Xxxx

[lamman]

hello everyone :)

Agree with the former.

Also it sounds like you get stressed by work related issue? Have you tried to take it upto HR, supervisor or manager? When you do, make sure you give them the facts (someone said such and such mean things to you) and tell them a little bit about how you felt (I felt been threatened and can't focus on work). I found the HR don't really want to get into how it happened, they just want to know what someone did to you and if it affects your productivity. If you feel really bad you can find a friend or a family member to talk, they are more likely to want to hear your story.

hope you will feel better n1ck13.

[n1ck13]

hello everyone :)

Agree with the former.

Also it sounds like you get stressed by work related issue? Have you tried to take it upto HR, supervisor or manager? When you do, make sure you give them the facts (someone said such and such mean things to you) and tell them a little bit about how you felt (I felt been threatened and can't focus on work). I found the HR don't really want to get into how it happened, they just want to know what someone did to you and if it affects your productivity. If you feel really bad you can find a friend or a family member to talk, they are more likely to want to hear your story.

hope you will feel better n1ck13.

Thanks for hearing me for more than my so called winging..
I have tried desperately to speak out for help regarding work. I've tried my bosses and my bosses bosses it just goes unresolved And I can't leave my job until I have another one (which I am trying to find)
I've also tried talking to people who a) make me upset or B) family/friends who might understand but still they don't understand they just make me feel like I should just get over it or not let it worry me (*coughs Dazza!) but it's really not that easy, especially when coming to work is like a heart arttack every day and coming home/socially it's like I'm invisible. I'm not the happy bubbly person I used to be and even when I try to be happy somethhing or someone comes along and just destroys my confidence...judge me all you like I just wanted someone to talk to who might even remotely understand how I feel

[lamman]

ah...your work environment sucks! no wonder you are this upset.

one thing I did, and temporarily helped was that I find things I could do at work to take my frustration out. I know it's not the best way but hell it made me feel better. Such as, making paper stay really really neat before staple them, when someone tries to give me more work I put them on-hold and pretend something is happening on screen while I undo the work I've just done etc, lol. I also made anonymous calls to the government founded helpline, it didn't help but at least I got it off my chest really good because they generally are on your side.

[n1ck13]

It's worse than I can put into words... I come into work and don't even get a 'good morning' and I get my head bitten off and spoken to rudely all the time and it just plays with my anxiety so bad because nobody likes to feel excluded and like the have to tiptoe around certain people. And if I have to talk to those people it takes me ages to build up the courage and to settle my heart or to stop shaking..And afterwards im hyperventilating and light headed and i get hot flushes to my face :/ i know it sounds silly and the only solution is to quit but I just can't right now. I'm a really emotional/open person, it helps me to talk to someone...

[lamman]

lol, I think we should trade jobs, i like an environment people just get on with their things instead of hello, howdy and how are you while stick their nose into my personal life. Sorry, it's just my preference I don't like associating personal life with work people. :)

I think it's combination of things that cause work relation issues: What we want and how things actually are. I don't think there is much we can do about it.

If you like the job a lot, you should stick around maybe things will change over time. people who'd been there for a long time or in a higher position than you probably gone through similar situation and consider it as normal.

If you don't really like your job, quitting is a good way because you will get an opportunity to find something better. Good things always take time.

You should try breathing technique to avoid hyperventilation, you can try this anytime you want. it works well for me. breathe in and hold it for 2 or 3 seconds then breathe out. Try not to breathe in a huge amount of air coz that will lead to hyperventilation as well.

[lamman]

p.s. there is nothing wrong being emotional/sensitive, it's just other people lack of the nerve to process info more vividly.

[n1ck13]

Thank you so much Ianman :)

[PositiveThinking!]

I know that everyone here is supposed to be supportive and helpful, yet sometimes the best advice is what we do not want to hear, so think about it for a bit if you will, and notice that people who tell you stuff you don't want to hear are probably doing so for your own good, perhaps because they have been through the same or worse and have gotten past it, I know I have, I've been dealing with anxiety along with some other mental issues for years, I'm finally feeling better but it's all because of my positive attitude, the changes I made in my life, and last but not least, I quit feeling bad for myself because I'm worth so much more, and I finally don't give a crap of what others think or say about me because I know who I am.

I just decided to reply to this thread because I've been there, I felt insulted many times before when I felt like no one could understand the struggle I was in, the thing is, I was the one who had to realize that feeling bad for myself would not lead anywhere, and nowadays I thank people who dare to let me know about my flaws, things that I once found to be offensive are now of a high value for me.

[lamman]

well said PositiveThinking! and i like your username. it's really cool, e.g. It's not me, it's positive think! and you will never think of something bad.

I think people are different in personalities, preferences, dislikes etc. especially comes down to our believes and I think it's why people generally get offended when someone challenges it. Just thinking about how I ever gonna live if I don't know what to do (right and wrong), I would grow fear of losing myself. If you think changing the habit is difficult, then changing a belief system is harder, especially when you don't know someone but still tell them so and so.

For myself I'd like to poke the person instead of hitting them with a rock. well mostly, lol.

[PositiveThinking!]

Thanks :)

It's always hard at the beginning to hear stuff we don't want to, I remember feeling that everyone kept accusing me of this and that, saying I was too weak to move on, some said I'd never move on, well guess what I did and I couldn't be any more proud of myself, I'm still not over anxiety 100% and I doubt that'll happen soon, it takes time for one to live an anxiety free lifestyle but as the time passes and after the choices I've made, it gets easier each day!

[dazza]

I know that everyone here is supposed to be supportive and helpful, yet sometimes the best advice is what we do not want to hear, so think about it for a bit if you will, and notice that people who tell you stuff you don't want to hear are probably doing so for your own good, perhaps because they have been through the same or worse and have gotten past it, I know I have, I've been dealing with anxiety along with some other mental issues for years, I'm finally feeling better but it's all because of my positive attitude, the changes I made in my life, and last but not least, I quit feeling bad for myself because I'm worth so much more, and I finally don't give a crap of what others think or say about me because I know who I am.

I just decided to reply to this thread because I've been there, I felt insulted many times before when I felt like no one could understand the struggle I was in, the thing is, I was the one who had to realize that feeling bad for myself would not lead anywhere, and nowadays I thank people who dare to let me know about my flaws, things that I once found to be offensive are now of a high value for me.

Hooorahh!

Well said young man.

Nick - out of a million fluffy comments of the "ahhh don't worry, I know how you feel" variety... NONE of them will help you.

One day, when you know who YOU are, you'll look back and realise that the content in both my & PositiveThinkings comments were true.

You wanna start getting somewhere in life, then you gotta get a little tougher I'm affraid.

[laurandisorder]

You know, I came to this place to look for support and understanding because I feel like I get none elsewhere, but to be totally harassed for it is just cruel... It is people like you dazza that truly have no idea of the impact of their words and you should be ashamed of yourself!

Honey. Dazza has a great sense of humour and a very unique perspective on things, but I think you misunderstood the intention of his response.

One thing to remember when using forums like these is that you can't tell what a person's tone is. He did not understand that you were feeling sad, alone and desperate and honestly, he's cheeky, but not malicious. He was just trying to make you see the bright side of things - the glass being half full kinda thing. I don't think he was trying to harass you... I hope he wasn't!!

My advice in terms of work - screw 'em. You are there to do your job, not to make best friends. Be a nice person at all times, but let the bullying slide off you and they will stop doing it. I know it's easier to say than do, but working with teenagers, I have learned to filter.

Don't quit your job, but by all means if you are truly unhappy start looking for a new one and please stop deliberating over what your colleagues are saying and doing. You haven't hand picked them to be your friends, they are people who you happen to work with. Take the high road, my dear!

[lamman]

Thanks :)

It's always hard at the beginning to hear stuff we don't want to, I remember feeling that everyone kept accusing me of this and that, saying I was too weak to move on, some said I'd never move on, well guess what I did and I couldn't be any more proud of myself, I'm still not over anxiety 100% and I doubt that'll happen soon, it takes time for one to live an anxiety free lifestyle but as the time passes and after the choices I've made, it gets easier each day!

that's an awesome attitude you have. And I totally agree with you. Over the years I've realized that people, even friends, can say a lot of things. I ended up feeling confused over what's right or wrong. So yea I think people will be happier to be who they want to be, not because someone told them what they should be :)