i really dont think im ever getting better..

[Love.me]

ive been diagnosed with GAD.
I Dont know what to do. nothings helping me.
i have always been such an irritable person, ive never slept good, i just feel so at a loss, i dont know wat to do with myself. i am hurting everyone else around me and that hurts more knowing that...its like this vicious circle, and i dont even know wat a panic attack is really, like i do but im not sure if thats wat im expieriencing. all i know is noone understands me and i need help. i need to feel better i dont know wat to do anymore/ my thoughts are always racing and it gets in the way of me actually talking about a problem. i jump from topic to topic and im just all over the place from my emotions to my thoughts. my mind is my worst enemy i swear. im in constant what if mode. its gotten so much worse after i had my son. ugh i just dont know what to do. after todays cryfest, i decided enough is enough i need to do something. this is the only thing i could think of as a slight quick fix, i dont know wat to do anymore though, i feel like the only way out is to not be here anymore but that shouldnt even be an option!! :(
i have no confidence and this is nothing new to me. 25 years of tantrums and freakouts, and its not like ive been asking and looking for help. its almost been 10 years and ive gotten nowhere. im lucky to have a bf who knows how to deal with me but i can tell its wearing on him and i dont know wat to do. im so stubborn that even when something has nothing to do with him, i cant help but treat him like shit just because im feeling that way. i have animals and most people cry and hold them and feel better shortly after, well i dont i cant even look at my animals , i get so upset and overwhelmed that i get in my bed in the dark and just cryyy and cry and cry, this is NOTHING NEW to me like i really dont think im ever getting better. i feel so embarrassed even writing this. i hate feeling this way. and this is the only way ive ever felt. as i get older i just cant go on like this. id ont know what to do. im so misunderstood and how can i blame the people around me for dealing with this the way they do. i cant even deal with it and i treat everyone around me so horribly. i hate this

[trinidiva]

Being anxious and depressed IS frustrating. You know what the problem is, but it seems so big to try to fix it. I encourage you to start with small steps. Since your boyfriend is supportive, get him involved in your recovery. Have you sat down and spoken to a doc about how you are feeling? If not, that should be your first step. Don't worry about being completely honest, trust me, it will feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. They will talk to you about either doing therapy, meds or a little of both. That's what I am doing currently. I also have written a small list of goals, things that my anxiety currently holds me back from doing. I feel such a sense of accomplishment when I meet one of the goals.
Just remember, this is not going to be an overnight process, just like it wasn't an overnight process to get where you are now. I wish you all the best!!!!!

[Love.me]

thank you! i have been to the drs since i was about 18 years old being diagnosed with different things. i finally have accepted the diagnosis of GAD so i was started on wellbutrin. well that made me so much worse and i just have been a mess for the last two weeks even more upset then ive ever been. i have lexapro now and im so worried that its not going to help either so i havent been able to start it. thats the anxiety jumping in! just the way i feel today i had to talk to someone or do something. i am so embarrassed to be feeling this way, i know i shouldnt be. i cant help the way i feel i just want to be happy and i dont think im ever going to be there. :(

[kerrielee]

I feel the same angry with myself that I have this and can't handle the normal things that everyone else does. But you are doing all you can to get yourself better so it will happen if you keep trying.

[Love.me]

Im just so tired i feel like nothing works

[kerrielee]

Same here my therapist made me read this book the conscious mind by Paul Gilbert. It has helped me a bit just look after myself more maybe give it a try

[trinidiva]

That's odd that they started you on Wellbutrin, I thought that was just for treatment of depression. Many people say that Lexapro works for them, but when you are initially starting it, it CAN actually increase anxiety. You might want to ask your doc for a prescription of alprazolam (generic xanax) to help you through the first few weeks. I take Zoloft. I also have a prescription for generic xanax just in case I have a panic attack. Don't get down on yourself, at least you are trying to DO something to solve your anxiety issues. If one thing doesn't work, try something else till you find something that does work for you.

[Love.me]

Thank you, it helps to know that im not alone. Its just so hard, i feel so repetitve having to tell my feelings to so many people. All these things im so upset about seem so valid to me and when i tell people its like "oh its not that bad just snap out of it" i wish! Now ive been so upset for the past few days and i feel this is out of control now. I dont wanna give up. I want to be loved. I want to feel special. And i just feel like such a burden

[ikilledadragon]

I had the same reaction when I was diagnosed with Dysthymia. I felt helpless, upset, sad. I thought that it explained so much. And I was mad at God for giving me this disorder.

Until I realized that it was solely a label and won't define you unless you let it.

So don't use it as an excuse for your problems and don't feel like you can't fix them because you can. ;)

[Cara1989]

I had the same reaction when I was diagnosed with Dysthymia. I felt helpless, upset, sad. I thought that it explained so much. And I was mad at God for giving me this disorder.

Until I realized that it was solely a label and won't define you unless you let it.

So don't use it as an excuse for your problems and don't feel like you can't fix them because you can. ;)

What. Is that?

[ikilledadragon]

Its a mild depression lasting longer than two years with periods of feeling fine.