Copelandlove08
01-14-2013, 11:40 PM
Hello all,
I guess I registered for this forum to just get some relief. I don't know how to really label the feelings that I've been going through the past few years. I was a psychology major in college, so I am aware of the symptoms of anxiety and depression, but I feel like a large part of the panic that I have is situational, so I'm not sure whether or not that would fall under any particular anxiety disorder.
To summarize, I just feel an overwhelming sense of dread and panic most times. Either when I am alone, or when communicating with men. Especially, men that I am interested in. A lot of times this dread comes from having overwhelming feelings for someone that are not reciprocated and then acting like I can function maintaining a purely platonic relationship. For example, a friend that I have feelings for is distancing from me and my heart races when I am not speaking to him and I feel like im going to have a heart attack when we do communicate, but he is short and nonresponsive. I would dismiss this as a crush and just try to move on, but the trouble is that these feelings of uneasiness, anxiety, loneliness, dread have not only been with him but with many guys the past 4 or 5 yrs who have let me down emotionally or not reciprocated. Albiet, they don't have to, but my coping in these situations is nonexistent or unhealthy. I've self medicated with alcohol, but am now reverting to more healthy methods like aromatherapy, tea, etc. It works a little but, I still feel discomfort.
I feel so alone, all the time. I think I try to find comfort in relationships...but most times, these relationships dont work out or happen at all and I fall into a depressive/ hopeless state. I've quit jobs after the demise of relationships because I cant function, I've stayed up all night with racing thoughts because I can't sleep. It's so silly to me, that I place all of this panic on guys. I feel like a teenager. I don't know if it's because most of my friends are married, or in relationships, with children, and I feel isolated, or if I have some sort of real problem. All I know, is that I feel like im suffocating. When I am around people, I forget for a little bit how I'm feeling, but when I'm alone these anxious feelings come racing back.
It's gotten so bad, that I don't want to attempt any sort of romantic relationships with men, or friendships for that matter for fear that I'll panic again. I'm driving my friends crazy consistently describing how I'm feeling, and I just feel like if I disappeared, not many people would notice.
Does anyone ever feel this way? What are some ways to cope and start feeling normal?
I guess I registered for this forum to just get some relief. I don't know how to really label the feelings that I've been going through the past few years. I was a psychology major in college, so I am aware of the symptoms of anxiety and depression, but I feel like a large part of the panic that I have is situational, so I'm not sure whether or not that would fall under any particular anxiety disorder.
To summarize, I just feel an overwhelming sense of dread and panic most times. Either when I am alone, or when communicating with men. Especially, men that I am interested in. A lot of times this dread comes from having overwhelming feelings for someone that are not reciprocated and then acting like I can function maintaining a purely platonic relationship. For example, a friend that I have feelings for is distancing from me and my heart races when I am not speaking to him and I feel like im going to have a heart attack when we do communicate, but he is short and nonresponsive. I would dismiss this as a crush and just try to move on, but the trouble is that these feelings of uneasiness, anxiety, loneliness, dread have not only been with him but with many guys the past 4 or 5 yrs who have let me down emotionally or not reciprocated. Albiet, they don't have to, but my coping in these situations is nonexistent or unhealthy. I've self medicated with alcohol, but am now reverting to more healthy methods like aromatherapy, tea, etc. It works a little but, I still feel discomfort.
I feel so alone, all the time. I think I try to find comfort in relationships...but most times, these relationships dont work out or happen at all and I fall into a depressive/ hopeless state. I've quit jobs after the demise of relationships because I cant function, I've stayed up all night with racing thoughts because I can't sleep. It's so silly to me, that I place all of this panic on guys. I feel like a teenager. I don't know if it's because most of my friends are married, or in relationships, with children, and I feel isolated, or if I have some sort of real problem. All I know, is that I feel like im suffocating. When I am around people, I forget for a little bit how I'm feeling, but when I'm alone these anxious feelings come racing back.
It's gotten so bad, that I don't want to attempt any sort of romantic relationships with men, or friendships for that matter for fear that I'll panic again. I'm driving my friends crazy consistently describing how I'm feeling, and I just feel like if I disappeared, not many people would notice.
Does anyone ever feel this way? What are some ways to cope and start feeling normal?