kasiejuhnay
01-14-2013, 01:05 AM
It's been pretty bad since the blood pressure episode at work. I have since learned that I make myself anxious with unfamiliar things. Tonight at work I had to make a cash drop in the vault, the vault is hidden behind large steel doors and to go there you must be escorted by security. I got really anxious just thinking of going there, so anxious my face felt numb and I got lightheaded. After going, and coming back I felt fine until some thieves were being watched by security until police arrived. I was thinking the absolute worst about the situation...unrealistic things. I tried distracting myself by reading but that made it worse it seemed like. Almost all of my closest coworkers have had the flu so I sanitize and disinfect everything numerous times a night...I know if I get the flu I will be afraid of it killing me. I have been having sinus problems, headaches, dizziness, drainage in my throat type problems...then I find out I have been taking the wrong Mucinex. I went to the pharmacy today and the correct one is double the dosage and had lots of potential side effects....that is what I am currently dwelling on now. Which of the side effects will I feel tonight? Due to my blood pressure problems my gynecologist took me off of my birth control but before I can start the new pill I have to start my period...and who knows how long that will take. My yoga instructor offers "How to deal with anxiety" classes because she suffers from it too. I have taken her class and it helped...with our schedules I have not been able to meet with her lately but I need to make it a priority. She sent me a text the other day that made me really think..."energy flows where attention goes". In other words because we think about it and dwell on it the worse it gets. I try to remember this but during my anxiety attacks I think she has no idea what she is talking about. Lol I know that's not true because when I go into her group sessions she can tell when I'm anxious because of my body language. Then almost every time she changes that class to add more meditation time to calm me. I guess this is more of a vent or rambling more than anything. Thanks for reading.