nateoatari
01-09-2013, 10:43 AM
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about eight months. I revealed to him early on that I have anxiety. I have been in therapy working on it, and am seeking someone to prescribe medication. That's another story. Right now, I want to seek help for our relationship.
P, my boyfriend, is extremely supportive of me, and I of him. We talk about everything and care very deeply about each other.
Like we all do, has his own issues he's been working on. Within the last week or so, he has started feeling a lot worse than normal. Last night, he told me that he's afraid he has anxiety issues of his own. He's going to seek a therapist, but it is true that he has been feeling *much* worse than normal just this last week. Some of it is around our relationship (he has commitment issues that we've been working on) but most of it seems to be where we live...we both agree that anytime we leave our town, we instantly feel better. Having just come back from a wonderful holiday across the country with his parents, things seem to be hitting us both extra hard right now.
Because we share everything, we're both very empathic people and are very tuned in to each others emotions. In some ways, it's nice to know he is going through some of what I am, because we both understand how the other feels and can support each other. The problem seems to be that there's a good chance that he is also feeding off of my anxiety, which in turn is making his worse, which when I feed of him, makes mine worse.
We talked last night and agreed that there are two ways this can go: we can do a downward spiral feeding off of each other and get worse, or we can work to support each other and heal ourselves. Obviously, we would prefer the latter, and I think we can do it since we communicate so much.
What I would like advice on is this: how do we help each other while staying very empathic and open people? How do we stop feeding off each others' anxiety and instead feed off the other person's understanding and support?
Thank you in advance for any advice!
P, my boyfriend, is extremely supportive of me, and I of him. We talk about everything and care very deeply about each other.
Like we all do, has his own issues he's been working on. Within the last week or so, he has started feeling a lot worse than normal. Last night, he told me that he's afraid he has anxiety issues of his own. He's going to seek a therapist, but it is true that he has been feeling *much* worse than normal just this last week. Some of it is around our relationship (he has commitment issues that we've been working on) but most of it seems to be where we live...we both agree that anytime we leave our town, we instantly feel better. Having just come back from a wonderful holiday across the country with his parents, things seem to be hitting us both extra hard right now.
Because we share everything, we're both very empathic people and are very tuned in to each others emotions. In some ways, it's nice to know he is going through some of what I am, because we both understand how the other feels and can support each other. The problem seems to be that there's a good chance that he is also feeding off of my anxiety, which in turn is making his worse, which when I feed of him, makes mine worse.
We talked last night and agreed that there are two ways this can go: we can do a downward spiral feeding off of each other and get worse, or we can work to support each other and heal ourselves. Obviously, we would prefer the latter, and I think we can do it since we communicate so much.
What I would like advice on is this: how do we help each other while staying very empathic and open people? How do we stop feeding off each others' anxiety and instead feed off the other person's understanding and support?
Thank you in advance for any advice!