daydreaming and alcohol dependancy

[bleakhorizon]

for as long as i remember ive always been addicted to daydreaming and creating who i wanted to be. but also it has taken me to the age of 22 to realize my daydreams dont really symbolise anything or mean anything and that im wasting my life and also not figuring out my own identity. i have also only just realised that it createes anxiety and is probably the reason i have spent a life barely talking to people, and when i have, been a bit weird and depressed, because i wasnt the person i was in my daydreams. i also have an addiction to drinking alcohol at night and drink a bottle daily. i used to daydream 24/7 but now i have stopped but my addiction to alcohol has not, the thing is daydreaming is an escapism where you dont have to use your mind. i am alone most the time so my only distractions are how i can occupy myself with films and finding new music. this is ok in the daytime, but by 5pm i feel like i need something to take the edge of. is it is like i cant imagine focusing on stuff all day.

i am happy that i have realised that daydreaming is the source of my depression but i still dont have the presence of mind as much as other people. im always thinking about what people think of me, so when i feel i dont make the impresssion i want, i decide to daydream instead. i keep this to a minimum now which i think helps, but i cannot help but think life can be so boring i just dont know how people focus on the present.

i am just writing this thread because i wanted to know if others had problems with daydreaming or alcohol, to share experiences.