chelski71
01-05-2013, 05:20 PM
Hi I'm new to this site, I've thought about joining for a while but had a battle regarding the fact that perhaps reading about other people's anxiety may make my anxiety worse?!
Any way I'm here, giving it a go...
According to it I suffer from generalized anxiety, although my thing is fear of dying.
My nan passed away quite unexpectedly April 2010, my brother in law then died in a car crash December 2010, then my dad committed suicide February 2011, I was 32 weeks pregnant at the time.
I'm not over what happened with my dad, but I'm a lot better in the grieving sense.
At first I developed a fear of something happening to my children, if they were out with someone and late back that's it my head would be all over the place if be thinking all sorts of the worse case scenario. If my baby slept for longer than I expected her to, I'd be sure she had died in he sleep, but couldn't bring myself to go and check on her. That subsided without me noticing really if I'm honest and only occasionally do I get those thoughts now.
Now it's all based on the fear of me dying, or not so much the fear of me dying from a personal perspective more so on how it will make my loved ones feel, more so my four beautiful children. It's over taking my life.
I think it's so strange as I have this fear of dying yet my anxiety symptoms make me think I'm dying?! Talk about giving me a break!!
I recently had an operation and that was a massive factor for me, having to be put to sleep etc, the whole thing played havoc with me, then after the surgery I was adamant I was going to get a blood clot.
Now my latest one, I say latest my operation was two weeks ago! Any way the latest one is and I'm sorry about it being too much information but I quit smoking in October, also through the dead that I was dying and since then I've had bowel issues, which lead to piles, which lead to bleeding, so I was examined and the doctor couldn't find anything so now I need to have an endoscopy (I think it's called). I'm addicted to googling symptoms and well now I'm sure I have all those connected to cancer. I'm almost in hysterics, I can't stop crying, my kids and other half think I'm loopy Lou particularly my kids, which then put me in a massive guilt because I shouldn't be crying in front of them.
I have an appointment scheduled for this week with the psychiatric nurse to be assessed, I've mixed feelings about this. I'm desperate for the help but fearful incase they take my children away from me or something, I think this is my irrational thinking coming out to play again, yet still a theory I have.
Sorry for the terribly long post
Any way I'm here, giving it a go...
According to it I suffer from generalized anxiety, although my thing is fear of dying.
My nan passed away quite unexpectedly April 2010, my brother in law then died in a car crash December 2010, then my dad committed suicide February 2011, I was 32 weeks pregnant at the time.
I'm not over what happened with my dad, but I'm a lot better in the grieving sense.
At first I developed a fear of something happening to my children, if they were out with someone and late back that's it my head would be all over the place if be thinking all sorts of the worse case scenario. If my baby slept for longer than I expected her to, I'd be sure she had died in he sleep, but couldn't bring myself to go and check on her. That subsided without me noticing really if I'm honest and only occasionally do I get those thoughts now.
Now it's all based on the fear of me dying, or not so much the fear of me dying from a personal perspective more so on how it will make my loved ones feel, more so my four beautiful children. It's over taking my life.
I think it's so strange as I have this fear of dying yet my anxiety symptoms make me think I'm dying?! Talk about giving me a break!!
I recently had an operation and that was a massive factor for me, having to be put to sleep etc, the whole thing played havoc with me, then after the surgery I was adamant I was going to get a blood clot.
Now my latest one, I say latest my operation was two weeks ago! Any way the latest one is and I'm sorry about it being too much information but I quit smoking in October, also through the dead that I was dying and since then I've had bowel issues, which lead to piles, which lead to bleeding, so I was examined and the doctor couldn't find anything so now I need to have an endoscopy (I think it's called). I'm addicted to googling symptoms and well now I'm sure I have all those connected to cancer. I'm almost in hysterics, I can't stop crying, my kids and other half think I'm loopy Lou particularly my kids, which then put me in a massive guilt because I shouldn't be crying in front of them.
I have an appointment scheduled for this week with the psychiatric nurse to be assessed, I've mixed feelings about this. I'm desperate for the help but fearful incase they take my children away from me or something, I think this is my irrational thinking coming out to play again, yet still a theory I have.
Sorry for the terribly long post