Stimulants!!! Don't Judge plz

[FrankWolfe53]

Okay I have posted a few times, my anxiety is subsiding but my depression and depersonalization are still there. Here is my full story of anxiety, they always come to me when i do a stimulant. First was in 2007 when i was in high school and would do caffiene pills to help me get going and used them before I lifted weights. But one day I took them without working out and went to the movies and my heart was racing and wouldn't stop and than I started getting tunnel vision and my hands started to get tingly but all i had to do was get up and walk around and it went away. Than I remember staying up all night coming back from chicago lollapalooza 2008, an 8 hour car ride and I remember being so thirsty and just slamming a mountain dew, and being dead tired when i got home i realized that my body did not want rest and that kind of freaked me out, eventually fell asleep on the couch about 5 hours after I got back home. Than in 2010 I am pretty sure that I was addicted to coffee, two cups in the morning, a cup for each lunch and dinner than i would even have one later in the evening. I did this for about 2-3 weeks and then one night I was already really tired but decided to drink a cup of instant coffee, and went to sleep right after that almost. but could not sleep and my heart rate went out of whack and I started to think that i did something to my heart and started sweating, than for about a month my anxiety would not stop but eventually went away but came back when i went on long car rides. Than on Dec 21st I went to an end of the world party and I got pretty drunk, and there were people with cocaine. Please don't judge. But I did that and for about a week and a half my anxiety would not stop and it had never been that bad before almost like a week long panic attack it felt. like I was on the verge of having a panic attack for a whole week and a half, it was miserable. not to mention the depersonalization and just constantly thinking that I screwed my self up. But the constant anxiousness is subsiding. but still feel depressed.

[helplessinseattle]

Hi. No judgement here, ever. How are you feeling now?

[FrankWolfe53]

Well the worst of the depersonalization happens in the morning right when i wake up, I have been having very vivid realistic dreams. But it usually wares off, but periodically through the day I will get anxious but its not all the time anymore. Still feel down though, but I have been dealing with depression on and off since 2006. But overall i feel way better than I did, thank you for asking.

[alankay]

Yep, they don't cause it but anxious folk often notice they exacerbate anxiety. Alankay

[helplessinseattle]

Hi again. That morning depersonalization.......that's when it happens to me, too, especially if I wake up within a complicated dream and the dream emotions stay with me. It does wear off but takes a while sometimes and everything just seems so weird and unreal until it does. And, oh, those dreams.........

[FrankWolfe53]

Ya it is difficult to get over the dream emotions, like i just remember being sad or even anxious in some dreams or just downright scared and then i wake up and I am still feeling those emotions for a while and I have to convince myself that it was just a dream. but i usually do and the rest of the day goes alright until I get those random fits of anxiety, but they are not nearly as strong or last as long. And thanks for the reply, just knowing that others go through this makes me feel better.