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View Full Version : depression,anixiety and pychosis tired of my life



pitersansuv
01-04-2013, 06:52 AM
This is Dinesh Sharma from kathmandu nepal i am going to write story of my life regarding mental health,how it has make my life hell.anyone specialist and who have experienced problem like me please help me to get out of it.

About 13 years ago,one day i became blanked,blank in case i couldnt think anything didnt know what happend to meh,then my father took me to the pychatrist.pychatrist suggested me the medicine of depression i used diazapem 2.5 mg and ciplar 10 mg i was very fine but after 2 years i suffer from Thyphoid i have tried almost every medicine of thyphoid it takes me around 3 month to get rid of thypoid,i got some phychological problem i again visited to pychatrist then he suggested diazapem 5 mg and ciplar 10 mg thrice day.my mind was numb
then i get admission to engineering college i do have my confidence better than before but numbness in mind,i have to sleep in daytime i think its because of medicine,i was not worried of anything i just admitted to college i was not serious on study i have never study seriously if there are six subject i get pass on one subject only in first and second semester but for the third and fourth semester i got fail in all the subjects,when i reached third year i reallised i have to study then i got serious on study i started passing subjects but there were many backs so after completing fourth year i have still 12 backs remain,i cleared all the backs within a year for that i had study very pressurely,between these period i got job in one school in this time i started drinking alcohol and stop medication of the depression now i began to feel more numbness i used to take tension very much,i cant get enjoyed my confidence was too low,if i think of the road i get scared.Then i decided to check my health once again i appointed with dr Koirala in teaching he gave me medice of fluoxetine,Imid ciplar and oze i got dramatic response i become very well full of confidence and crystal clear mind i think i got my new life but it was only for limited period since i got sleep another day i was again same ill boy,again next day i began to see clearly with my eye without my spectatles the power of spectatles are -2.0 for both eyes,medication are doing alot for meh again next day i have to used spectatles ....doctors, specialist think depression is all about what you think its all about what i think?then how i began to see clearly with my eyes i cant understand what is happening to meh...doctor told me to consult for the pychotherapy,since it was government hospital pychotherapy was little more difficult for me to find doctors time .I decided to consult another doctor the doctor manages the drugs i was almost fine but some time i think that i was not fine so i again changed another doctor after almost 6 month i was fine with medicine mirtaz 7.5 and clonil this medication makes my mood better i can think better than before ....i got job also i can work moderately i can ride bike to one day i see free check up for depression i wanted to be 100 percent fit this is the first and last mistake i made in my life sice i check up there i could not get over depression ...i was numbed and nothing were giving me pleasure ...my parents decided to take me Lucknow i went there and chek in omni care hospital i was in full medication there for one time i take almost 7,8 medicine i was like medicine tanker i was not sure i was feeling well i tired and again decided to check my health in Kathmandu,I appointed with Dr vishwa bhandhu sharma by the time doctor reduces my drug i was little bit fine but i was in medication so i was not getting pleasure and not interest in anything doctor is trying me with different medicine but i am not finding my way to free from depression...now i decided to do naturopathy treatment .now i am having lots of problems....there is illness in my mind from the time i wake up to i sleep in the night everysecond there is thinking of illness in my mind i always think that i have lost my life i cant wake up from this depression i am using medication although having lots of problem i think the world is black for me. i am seeing different from other i am thinking different from other i dont like to talk with anyone you can say there is no feelings pleasure emotion in my life.i dunt know what shuld i think ?what shuld i do?i have no confidence at all.....totally nummed and totally pycho...nothing is giving me a way to get out of it.every single thing i see i takes negative thinking i dunt know who i am? What i am doing ? my future is blank?? why i m living thinking are so narrowed for meh that this world is black for meh.i am living aneouxly for every second of life i am not enjoying anything i just want to quit this life.