mglover92
01-01-2013, 02:14 PM
So to make a long story really short iv been dating my wonderful girlfriend for 4 years. I love her and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. However since I have been with her I have lost alot of friends in the process and I dont go out with anyone as much because I am always with my girlfriend. I dont mind it, and i love her more than anything but sometimes i miss my friends and i miss going out and having fun with them. Now to cut to last night (new years eve). I was on facebook and I see all these wonderful pictures of people having fun, out with their friends, having a great time...and im stuck in the house just on the computer doing nothing..boring! Especially on a new years eve!..so I have anxiety and then all the sudden I get these thoughts in my head because I was upset not going out and doing anything...the thoughts were
1. maybe im depressed
2. I am sad right now at this moment, but what if its something more serious?
3. omg im sad right now, what if I have a depression disorder?
4. omg, if Im depressed, am I suicidal?
then the last thought of being "suicidal" just infected my brain and literally made me think I was crazy all fucking night. 2 the point where I told myself to go to the kitchen and hold a freaking knife and see if I do something to myself with it. I obviously didnt but it scared the shit out of me that I had to go to the extreme just to prove to myself that there is nothing wrong with me and its just my anxiety playing tricks on me making me question everything. I love life and i love living but anxiety makes me QUESTION EVERYTHING. Excuse my language but its annoying as fuck and I cant stand it. Please keep in mind I HAVE NEVER, EVER CONTEMPLATED SUICIDE IN MY LIFE. I have never ever had a problem with living. I LOVE LIVING. I never had suicidal thoughts EVER. Its just so annoying and I just want somebody to confirm for me that I am not crazy.
I do not take any meds for my anxiety. Honestly I was doing pretty good up till last night when these annoying intrusive thoughts occurred.
Everything was fine and dandy until anxiety entered my life which makes me latch on to thoughts i would never of thought of before I had anxiety.
1. maybe im depressed
2. I am sad right now at this moment, but what if its something more serious?
3. omg im sad right now, what if I have a depression disorder?
4. omg, if Im depressed, am I suicidal?
then the last thought of being "suicidal" just infected my brain and literally made me think I was crazy all fucking night. 2 the point where I told myself to go to the kitchen and hold a freaking knife and see if I do something to myself with it. I obviously didnt but it scared the shit out of me that I had to go to the extreme just to prove to myself that there is nothing wrong with me and its just my anxiety playing tricks on me making me question everything. I love life and i love living but anxiety makes me QUESTION EVERYTHING. Excuse my language but its annoying as fuck and I cant stand it. Please keep in mind I HAVE NEVER, EVER CONTEMPLATED SUICIDE IN MY LIFE. I have never ever had a problem with living. I LOVE LIVING. I never had suicidal thoughts EVER. Its just so annoying and I just want somebody to confirm for me that I am not crazy.
I do not take any meds for my anxiety. Honestly I was doing pretty good up till last night when these annoying intrusive thoughts occurred.
Everything was fine and dandy until anxiety entered my life which makes me latch on to thoughts i would never of thought of before I had anxiety.