raggamuffin
12-29-2012, 06:45 AM
Hi all,
Got speaking to a girl nearly 2 months ago. Very sweet and nice, we have many similarities and like each other. Get on very well with her and talk lots. She's studying at uni very near to where I live after summer. Problem is, as much as I like her and we get on there's always stuff dragging me down. If I like someone or i'm dating someone and they're feeling down it drags me down too. I offer what advice I can, try and be comforting etc. But then when they're feeling better I feel like crap.
Add to that a past with her of sexual abuse which she hasn't yet started to come to terms with or heal...it's very difficult. She has taken my advice I think and is looking to meet a group of women survivors of abuse who talk and discuss etc which sounds like a step in the right direction.
She's been depressed and suffers from a lot of symptoms of stress and anxiety. I can only imagine what effect that'd have on someone. Nobody knows the truth about what happened except what I managed to piece together and asked her and she confirmed me fears about who and what happened. That is, in itself a huge step for her. She said herself, she only remembered what happened about a year ago. This was after several years on drugs and alcohol. Trying to purge I suppose...or maybe not seeing as she hadn't recalled what had happened.
Thing is, she won't address the depression or anxiety. Simply "copes" with it and she's not doing very well. Visited 4 psychiatrists over the years and hasn't opened up fully to a single one. Family life stresses her out to no end. They're simply not caring, if she comes to them crying saying she's depressed they tell her to stop being melodramatic or shout at her etc. Sounds like a very turbulent home life she has. It's very difficult to know what to do. She visits a psychiatrist but she's never ever opened up to them. Scared of "breaking down". I tried explaining it's all part of the healing process, to admit to what happened etc. But she doesn't want the family member to "get in trouble" and is carrying an awful burden on her. Thankfully said person is no longer in the home, but it doesn't make it any easier of course.
Whilst the survivor group should help...i'm not sure what help I can be. I actually bought books on how to overcome depression and also women who survived sexual abuse. It's so heavy going and the reading makes me feel nothing but utterly depressed and overcome with anxiety and stress.
I'm really not sure if i'm strong enough to help her. I know i'm not a healthcare professional. But if she won't confide in others as to how she's feeling...I feel burdened with the task of helping her. It's a real struggle to say the least and i'm not sure what I can effectively do to be honest. I feel mentally drained, the anxiety has come back, the symptoms, the pains. She doesn't want to burden me with her problems, but she's already confided in me and i've taken it upon myself. I've pleaded with her to open up somewhat to her psychiatrist instead of pretending everything is fine. Just so that a health care professional can help. But I don't know if she will.
I just feel like a mess at the moment in all honesty. All for someone I like and have never met. Not sure what advice people will give. I imagine some will suggest not getting to involved or trying to remain neutral etc.
I'm trying to help as best as I can. I suffered depression for many years, I felt like I could offer some valid advice, but in all honesty...i've just been overwhelmed by it all. She digressed a bit more information about the sexual abuse earlier and I simply broke apart (without admitting it to her). I feel too weak to be of any help to her. Every time I think about what she said, I just get overwhelmed with such anger and anxiety and I just end up crying. I feel pathetic to tell the truth.
Ed
Got speaking to a girl nearly 2 months ago. Very sweet and nice, we have many similarities and like each other. Get on very well with her and talk lots. She's studying at uni very near to where I live after summer. Problem is, as much as I like her and we get on there's always stuff dragging me down. If I like someone or i'm dating someone and they're feeling down it drags me down too. I offer what advice I can, try and be comforting etc. But then when they're feeling better I feel like crap.
Add to that a past with her of sexual abuse which she hasn't yet started to come to terms with or heal...it's very difficult. She has taken my advice I think and is looking to meet a group of women survivors of abuse who talk and discuss etc which sounds like a step in the right direction.
She's been depressed and suffers from a lot of symptoms of stress and anxiety. I can only imagine what effect that'd have on someone. Nobody knows the truth about what happened except what I managed to piece together and asked her and she confirmed me fears about who and what happened. That is, in itself a huge step for her. She said herself, she only remembered what happened about a year ago. This was after several years on drugs and alcohol. Trying to purge I suppose...or maybe not seeing as she hadn't recalled what had happened.
Thing is, she won't address the depression or anxiety. Simply "copes" with it and she's not doing very well. Visited 4 psychiatrists over the years and hasn't opened up fully to a single one. Family life stresses her out to no end. They're simply not caring, if she comes to them crying saying she's depressed they tell her to stop being melodramatic or shout at her etc. Sounds like a very turbulent home life she has. It's very difficult to know what to do. She visits a psychiatrist but she's never ever opened up to them. Scared of "breaking down". I tried explaining it's all part of the healing process, to admit to what happened etc. But she doesn't want the family member to "get in trouble" and is carrying an awful burden on her. Thankfully said person is no longer in the home, but it doesn't make it any easier of course.
Whilst the survivor group should help...i'm not sure what help I can be. I actually bought books on how to overcome depression and also women who survived sexual abuse. It's so heavy going and the reading makes me feel nothing but utterly depressed and overcome with anxiety and stress.
I'm really not sure if i'm strong enough to help her. I know i'm not a healthcare professional. But if she won't confide in others as to how she's feeling...I feel burdened with the task of helping her. It's a real struggle to say the least and i'm not sure what I can effectively do to be honest. I feel mentally drained, the anxiety has come back, the symptoms, the pains. She doesn't want to burden me with her problems, but she's already confided in me and i've taken it upon myself. I've pleaded with her to open up somewhat to her psychiatrist instead of pretending everything is fine. Just so that a health care professional can help. But I don't know if she will.
I just feel like a mess at the moment in all honesty. All for someone I like and have never met. Not sure what advice people will give. I imagine some will suggest not getting to involved or trying to remain neutral etc.
I'm trying to help as best as I can. I suffered depression for many years, I felt like I could offer some valid advice, but in all honesty...i've just been overwhelmed by it all. She digressed a bit more information about the sexual abuse earlier and I simply broke apart (without admitting it to her). I feel too weak to be of any help to her. Every time I think about what she said, I just get overwhelmed with such anger and anxiety and I just end up crying. I feel pathetic to tell the truth.
Ed