ConquertheFear
12-28-2012, 03:58 PM
Hi all. First post here. Back in July, I accepted a new position within the company I worked for simply to experience a change of scenery. I worked my old position for 5 years and knew if fairly well (why the hell did I leave?) and thought maybe it was time to try something new. The training lasted pretty much 2 months (while my last job only involved the use of one system, this new one requires one to know ALL the systems within the company) and requires me to give high-level analysis on various projects. I started off okay during training and then in October it became apparent that 90% or more of what I was looking at just wasn't clicking or making sense to me. Everyone else in the department seemed to just do whatever they could to get things passed on quickly and there was basically very little structure involved. Very little structure and and the wealth of information required to be learned must have triggered something inside me as since October I've been pretty much unable to eat normally or sleep normally. I brought up my issues with my manager (after having left from work on two occasions due to stress) and was told that "it'll get better over time" and that I should "give it 6 more months". I had reached my wit's end and the thought of 6 more days made me ill let alone 6 months. I finally last week wrote my manager an email stating I couldn't do it anymore. Luckily, she found me a different function within the department that I start Monday. She had me go out and apply for short term disability (which is currently still being reviewed) and told me to miss all of this last week (24-28th). At first this made me feel a bit better but then getting all the paperwork filled out correctly by my doctor and repeated visits for that as well as being anxious as to whether it will be approved and how the new position will go has kept the anxiety going. It just seems like everything is off and I'm constantly waiting for negative things to happen. This all happened from just thinking maybe trying a change of scenery at work might be nice. I'm taking Xanax to help sleep but I wake up in dread and can't seem to find my "old self".