Need to get diagnosed but dont know where to start..

[sparkle40]

Ive always been a very happy go lucky, easy going kind of person..i guess that all changed when i met my husband 15 years ago. Id been a single parent to 2 small children for a long time and if im honest, he seemed like the answer to all our prayers. Maybe i didnt feel an instant connection or chemistry, but he was a good person and i thought i could make do with that..sounds awful to say. But 15 years down the line, hes sucked the life out of me emotionally, he is a very negative, anti social person and he has made me feel like this too. I have noticed ive lost touch with family and friends...i used to always make a joke of everything and be very bubbly but now im a constant worrier, get panic attacks, and since our marriage is starting to break down ( last few years) ive become depressed and often have thoughts of either running away or doing something stupid.
I dont blame him for turning me like this, but i do think he has worn me down so much that i now dont have the self esteem or motivation to change things.
Ive not seen a doctor yet, thought i could manage without anti deppressants but now my anxiety has reached fever pitch, i now admit i need to see someone.

[alankay]

You seem a bit anxious and depressed. But the good news is that if this was for no reason..... that would be one thing. You are well on your way having have an idea what's causing it all. Work on the core issues of your relationship with you husband and family/kids and you be helping yourself big time. Not an overnight fix though. :( Hang in there and welcome! Alankay