Here I go again! Ugh!!!!! Advise please!

[1Goofy1]

I go in these streaks of patterns of calmness and then irrational anxiety!
Opened my eyes this morning to butterflies and strong feelings of just uneasyness.
I can fear the most irrational things and can't get it out of my head. I get so upset over reason's that I don't know or things that don't exist and I can't shake it.
Was just on my way into the shower to get ready for work and had to wait because the shower was making me feel trapped. Now I am tensed up with stomach pains, chest pains and stiffness in my jaws. Just ridiculous!
If anyone has any suggestions on how to ease these feelings or stop them before they get away from me, please share.
Now to try to get myself in the shower without freaking out. I am so keyed up that I am exhausted even after sleeping a full 8 hours. Brain seems to be stuck in overdrive until I just fall asleep from wearing myself out.

Thanks in advance!

[alankay]

First try to find out what is it that you are anxious or conflicted about. Seeing a counselor is a great first step but somewhere something is bothering or troubeling you. Alankay

[1Goofy1]

Thank you, that is what my Dr. and Therapist said but I haven't a clue yet as to what it is. Well, some of it. The holidays kill me when my parents come to my house. I love them more then I could ever put to words but, they are perfectionists and nit pickers. LOL "When was the last time you dusted?" Me: this morning. "When did you vacuum last?" Me: this morning. They live 5 house down and then have coffee after dinner and say. Well it is time to go we have to go potty, when is the last time you scrubbed your bathroom? Me: Just before you got here. UGH! Oh well it is over and that can't be the total trigger or it would only be around the holidays. :/

[alankay]

Yep, conflicted feelings and maybe some guilt as I have that with my Mom. Examine all these issues and you'll get some relief. This is not your fault and all you can do is be the best son or daughter you can be and that's all. I sure they mean well but you can't change them. ALankay

[1Goofy1]

You seem very knowledgeable about so much of this, so I hope you don't mind if I ask you a few questions....
Originally they had me on Lexapro and over the years I am now on Celexa 20mg per day and Klonopin .05mg pills to use as needed but no more then twice a day.
They told me I have depression induced by the fear of anxiety. I don't really feel depressed. Of course at times I have a down day just due to the frustration of the constant anxiety. I do notice that the winter is the worst which I know is very common. Have you ever had any experience with those so called "Happy Lights"? Also what defines depression if you don't feel depressed. Since the time change and weather change I do sleep a lot more but always have. I hate the cold weather...lol.
I was told that the fatigue, body aches and chest pains were due to depression. I just find it so strange to think that when I don't feel depressed. I in general have a good sense of humor, love being home with my family and pets and enjoy going out socially on occasion. I will admit I have to force myself out a lot of time due to the anxiety of crowds and social situations but once I get myself there I am usually just fine and truly enjoy myself. I thought depression was totally keeping to yourself and not wanting to socialize. I want to socialize I just fear going out initially. This is why I refer to myself as 1Goofy1...lol
Any thoughts or suggestions you have would be so greatly appreciated. If I can find a way to cope until the sun comes out again, I will be good for at least 6 months.