cookie26
12-24-2012, 11:40 PM
Visiting my parents is a major trigger for anxiety. My family has had poor understanding of boundaries my whole life, and I'm really getting anxious just being in their presence. My mother is always talking about how negative everything is (how she is going to lose her job, how I'm so young and healthy and so I should do so-and-so for her, how things with our family is so chaotic), and when I ask if we can change the subject, she keeps talking about it 5 minutes later. There is so much resentment in my family that sometimes I have daydreams about one of my family members trying to kill me, and then try to think of an escape route. Whenever I need alone time, they take it incredibly personally making me want to get even further away. I've comforted my mom her whole life, like I was the mother comforting the daughter. I'm taking xanax to help with my anxiety while here, it's helping a lot actually. I normally don't take too much xanax, I'm on an antidepressant, but whenever I deal with my mom I take a half xanax and then just feel so much better...like I'm not absorbing her anxiety. Really just needed to vent, thanks for being so supportive...trying to have merry Christmas but the family environment rarely is, unfortunately!! :-(