southernsassyyy
12-22-2012, 10:48 PM
Well, my name is Lindsay and I'm new here. I've struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember, honestly. Even when I was little, I remember being really scared when my mom just went outside to go to the mailbox. My first panic attack I really remember was in 4th grade on the school bus. Since then, I've struggled on and off with varying forms of anxiety. Doctors and therapists have always struggled to find out what exactly is wrong with me because I have really unusual anxiety. Like, sometimes, I have these sudden attacks that hit me and the best way to describe them is that I feel like I'm in a dream, or that I'm watching myself in a movie or something. Other times, I'll get obsessed over one particular worry (anything from being convinced I have a fatal disease to the end of the world) and not be able to get it off my mind for days, often not sleeping, and then after awhile it just goes away and I'm totally normal and functional until another extreme worry hits me. The strange thing is that most of the time, I can function normally, but when anxiety hits, it hits hard. I just want someone to understand. I've stopped going to therapy because it doesn't help me at all, and I had to go off anti-depressants because I had an accidental overdose that made the anxiety I was feeling at the time even worse. People accuse me all the time of "making it up" and it's just annoying. I hope someone here maybe has had a similar experience or can at least just sympathize. Sorry this is so long, I just wanted to tell my story.