Hello Everyone!

[LeslieJoy]

My name is Leslie, 54 years old. I am suffering from severe anxiety and sometimes downright panic.

My Medical Conditions include a Mitochondrial Disorder (diagnosed in 1999), Collagenous Colitis (diagnosed by
biopsy during a Colonoscopy in 8/2012), Epilepsy (diagnosed 9/2012 after 9 years of unexplained seizures), movement
disorder, was told it was Restless Leg for years that affected my whole body, now also being told it may be a Tic Disorder. I take 18 different medications each day. I was told in Sept that I may have Huntingtons Disease, I guess I dodged that bullet when those tests came back negative!

To get to my anxiety, it has been off and on for years but just started getting severe this past Sept. I had never had a problem being home alone while my husband would be at his 2nd shift job till Sept. Now I am stuck on the couch from the time he
leaves till he gets home. If I have to leave the house to watch grandchildren, I start to feel panic knowing I will be having to come home to a dark empty house.
I am to the point now that I don't know how much longer I can live like this. I try to meditate, not working. meds for anxiety are not working.

Any ideas / help would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you.

[Saldav]

My name is Leslie, 54 years old. I am suffering from severe anxiety and sometimes downright panic.

My Medical Conditions include a Mitochondrial Disorder (diagnosed in 1999), Collagenous Colitis (diagnosed by
biopsy during a Colonoscopy in 8/2012), Epilepsy (diagnosed 9/2012 after 9 years of unexplained seizures), movement
disorder, was told it was Restless Leg for years that affected my whole body, now also being told it may be a Tic Disorder. I take 18 different medications each day. I was told in Sept that I may have Huntingtons Disease, I guess I dodged that bullet when those tests came back negative!

To get to my anxiety, it has been off and on for years but just started getting severe this past Sept. I had never had a problem being home alone while my husband would be at his 2nd shift job till Sept. Now I am stuck on the couch from the time he
leaves till he gets home. If I have to leave the house to watch grandchildren, I start to feel panic knowing I will be having to come home to a dark empty house.
I am to the point now that I don't know how much longer I can live like this. I try to meditate, not working. meds for anxiety are not working.

Any ideas / help would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you.

What anxiety meds are you taking?

[SunnieDebris]

Hi, Leslie. Welcome! I'm glad you found us. I'm sorry that you're going through such a tough time. What medications are you taking, and how long have you been on them? It sounds that you are too anxious to really benefit from meditation, because you need to be somewhat calm to start, that's why you should practice it when you're calm to start with. Are you attending therapy? Hang in there!

[LeslieJoy]

Thank you! I am on buspar and celexa right now. I have been on Welbutrin XL for a long time also. I am at the dr right now. 😊

[aims86]

Hi leslie,
How are you getting on with the citalopram? (celexa) I'm due to start these but scared of the side effects!

[LeslieJoy]

Hi Aims, I started on 10mg of Celexa, today my Dr increased it to 20mg once a day. I started taking it in the am at first. I got a little tired at first. I did not really notice that it was helping my anxiety till I started taking at night around 9:00 pm. My dr said this higher dose may help me sleep better.
I would try taking it at night.

[aims86]

Hi Leslie, Thankyou for your post!

Tonight is the night, I will be taking it more than likely about 9pm, I'm so scared! My anxiety is absolutely terrible though and is now stopping me from doing anything! Please tell me this medication works and doesn't make you feel worse? X

[LeslieJoy]

It did seem to help after just a couple days, then it seemed to level off. Now that I am increasing it I am hoping that it starts to help me get thru an evening without having panic attack.

Write me tonight and let me know how you are. I will be home all night.

[aims86]

Thanks Leslie,

One question I wanted to ask is what do you mean level off? You mean stopped working? X

[LeslieJoy]

I could tell it did take the edge off a little at first but the last couple of weeks I felt like I was starting to get more anxious again. I was on the lowest dose of 10mg. My dr said 20 mg is the standard dose. So I will see how it works starting tonight.
What dose are you going to be taking?

[aims86]

Oh ok then, I know what you mean.. I'm starting on 10mg, I'm hoping that will work if not I know I can always go back to the doctors for a review!

Did you get any side affects? How anxious we're you before you started taking them? Did they make you more anxious?

[LeslieJoy]

Oh ok then, I know what you mean.. I'm starting on 10mg, I'm hoping that will work if not I know I can always go back to the doctors for a review!

Did you get any side affects? How anxious we're you before you started taking them? Did they make you more anxious?

I was real anxious when I started on it. Side effects were not to bad, mostly a little tired but I was also taking other newer medicines that might have added to that. My heart races to but I think that starts to happen when I know I am going to be alone at night. That is when I am most anxious or panic may set in.

[aims86]

The strange thing is I'm anxious but my heart int beating fast, I feel hot and feel like I can't breath! Will the tablets help this do you think?

[aims86]

That was meant to say isn't! Sorry

[LeslieJoy]

I think they will. After a couple weeks if not maybe your dr could increase to 20 mg.

[aims86]

Jesus there's a chance they won't work? My god that is not a nice thought!!

[LeslieJoy]

Try to give them a little time. I know that is the hardest part of trying new meds, for me anyway. This celexa did work for me, just had increase from start up dose.

[aims86]

I'm really anxious thinking about taking it, will leave it till 9.30. I need some words of wisdom! Lol

[LeslieJoy]

Don't know if I am the one with words of wisdom, but being in the same boat as you I can say that it is worth a shot. I really do think it will help. I went to my dr today and cried about everything, asking why me. I am just glad I found this forum. It feels good to talk to people who understand what I am going thru.
I am here for you, even if just to listen.

[aims86]

Thankyou, that helps a lot! Don't think I'm going o calm down am I? That's the anxiety playing up I guess?

[LeslieJoy]

Thankyou, that helps a lot! Don't think I'm going o calm down am I? That's the anxiety playing up I guess?

Propably won't be calming down, the anxiety has already set in. I know what it is like believe me. Being worried about taking the med is somewhere I have been a lot of times.

It is almost 5 pm here. There?

[aims86]

I bet! It's 10.20pm here!

[LeslieJoy]

I bet! It's 10.20pm here!

How are you doing?

[aims86]

Still not taken one, I just can't bring myself to do it, so upset because I want to get better but I have a fear of the way they are gonna make me feel!! I nearly had an attack at the thought :-(

[LeslieJoy]

Do you have anyone to be with you when you take it?

[aims86]

My fiancé but he's asleep! It's 12.15am here! I know that everyday I'm just suffering more and more but I just don't seem to be able to take one, it's horrible!

[mrstanny]

Hi i just wanted to say if your too scared to take meds do you think you could cope without? I havnt read the whole thread but im in the same situation and i still havnt taken anything and i feel like im slowly getting better without taking anything

[aims86]

Tbh I don't think so, I feel anxious 24/7 and haven't left my house for a week and a half, if I could deal with it myself I would but I don't know how!

[dedee]

Tbh I don't think so, I feel anxious 24/7 and haven't left my house for a week and a half, if I could deal with it myself I would but I don't know how!

Oh my God Amy u are unbelievably scared for no reason !!!!!

[aims86]

Fear is healthy, I just have far to much of it!!

[aims86]

Fear is healthy! I just have to much of it!!

[dedee]

Fear is healthy, I just have far to much of it!!

You are so over ... Everyone keep telling u his experience but u still can't in 3 month ??

[aims86]

Over? What's that meant to mean? Not my fault I'm petrified, I can't help it!! I'm trying my best here...

[dedee]

Over? What's that meant to mean? Not my fault I'm petrified, I can't help it!! I'm trying my best here...

You are a mother and your son needs u .. Trust me get over our fear and do it

[aims86]

Yes I appreciate that, I do know this and I am aware he needs me, trust me!! I have a fear, I was so close to taking it and then I went all dizzy and felt super panicky, Im trying I really am...

[mrstanny]

I was the same about a month ago. I walked home alone from my sisters house during the day and i was shaking so bad the whole time and she only lives 3 house away! What do u think is causing ur anxiety? Facing your fear is the only way to overcome it. Or if like me you dont know what is causing it only time, positive thinking and lifestyle changes will help

[dedee]

Really feeling bad about u and wish I can help u ... I don't mean to be hard on u but what I mean is ones u take it boooom its done what else worse can u feel ?? U already panicking ??

[aims86]

Probably the fact that everyone keeps on at me doesn't help! My main fear is taking one and having a pa, either that or they won't work and I will be stuck like this for weeks on end...

[dedee]

I was the same about a month ago. I walked home alone from my sisters house during the day and i was shaking so bad the whole time and she only lives 3 house away! What do u think is causing ur anxiety? Facing your fear is the only way to overcome it. Or if like me you dont know what is causing it only time, positive thinking and lifestyle changes will help

Agree :) just face ur fear .. Do it now I can go chat with u and wait till u feel secure .. Ur fiancé also at home now with u .. What are u waiting for Amy !!! Face ur fear

[aims86]

But that panic can be heightened with anti d's.. That's what I'm scared of, ATM I have NO pa, I'm gonna take a med that could bring them on...

[aims86]

Take one now... 1am? Don't think so...
I'm not staying up till 1am everyday just to take one...

[dedee]

U will be better if u took it . Just be strong and you are strong

[dedee]

1 am tonight is fine then tomorrow take it earlier .. It doesn't matter to take it the same exact hour

[dedee]

Take it 1am tonight 12am tomorrow 11 the next day until u have the right time u like

[LeslieJoy]

Fear is horrible!!! That is my problem. No idea why it started but meds do seem to help me, no other choice at this time.

[mw0929]

I think you have worried about taking it so much that even if the pill does not cause side effects, your anxiety over side effects will be present. Really the only thing you can do is take the pill and kill the suspense. I'm sure you can do it! And if it causes you anxiety, we're here for you.

[aims86]

I really want to but I just can't bring myself to... Looking at the pill sends me into an anxious sweat!

[dedee]

I think you have worried about taking it so much that even if the pill does not cause side effects, your anxiety over side effects will be present. Really the only thing you can do is take the pill and kill the suspense. I'm sure you can do it! And if it causes you anxiety, we're here for you.

Agree . What else could be worse than the fear u already have any way ?

[dedee]

I really want to but I just can't bring myself to... Looking at the pill sends me into an anxious sweat!

Go chat room

[aims86]

I think you have worried about taking it so much that even if the pill does not cause side effects, your anxiety over side effects will be present. Really the only thing you can do is take the pill and kill the suspense. I'm sure you can do it! And if it causes you anxiety, we're here for you.

Yes you are right I have! Wish I could just do it! I need to get better... I know that!

[mw0929]

Yes you are right I have! Wish I could just do it! I need to get better... I know that!

Just take it when you're ready, honey. No pressure. Just know you have support.

[aims86]

Will I ever be ready though? That's the thing! I can't keep putting it off, I will just get worse and worse otherwise...

[mw0929]

Will I ever be ready though? That's the thing! I can't keep putting it off, I will just get worse and worse otherwise...

I don't know of you will be 100% ready but you have to weigh your options and decide from that....continue the path you are going or take a chance with meds and have a chance to get better.

[aims86]

Just frightened that they won't work! Could my anxiety actually get any worse.. I feel terrible now!

[LeslieJoy]

If you want to wait to start taking it, I will try to be here when you do.

[aims86]

Thanks, that helps a lot!

[sandyrdh1]

Try cutting the tablets in 4's. take 1/4 of the tablet and work your way up. That's what I did with my beta blocker. I was scared to death to take the whole thing. That way, your only taking a small amount at a time.