Exhausted, don't know what to do!

[Bluesookie]

I am so tired of this vicious cycle.
I've been through paroxetine, bromazepan, thought I was free after one year depending on them.

But this week, probably because of a bit of a stressful situation I had, it seems like it's all coming back.

I tell you, I'm scared. The past night, I almost didn't sleep (about 3 or 4 hours), threw up first thing in the morning and almost didn't eat. Eventually, i gave up and ended up taking 1,5 mg bromazepan to get me through the day.

Thing is, the situation as been solved, I was able to respond adequately to all my work and social appointments but, right now i'm feeling nauseous again, trembling. By the way, when you say trembling do you mean like a hand shaking? In my case i think it's not so much the trembling but an agitation (I can't stop shaking my leg).

Right now, I'm exhausted. I didn't sleep and I'm scared I won't be able to sleep again tonight (can't even think about it). I just hate myself right now for being able to let go of this, and also for making people who love me suffer by seeing me this way.

Sorry for this, I'm in a real dark place right now.
I consider myself lucky because I almost never feel dizzy or feel like I'm having a heart attack, like I see people here complaining about. My only problem is the nausea and, because of it, the lack of appetite. It's not a big deal, is it? What's the worst thing that can happen? Oh, I can throw up. So what? What's the big deal? Some people throw up every friday and saturday night.
This is what makes me hate myself more. My symptoms should be very easy to deal with given that the worst thing that can happen isn't that big of a deal.

Please, is there someone out there that feels like this? That suffers only of nausea? How do you deal with it?

I just want my life back, as it was a year ago, no panic, no nausea.

thank you for reading my ramble, I had to take this of my chest.

[alankay]

This is not your fault so don't beat yourself up over it. Seems like you're managing it so hang in there. In life anxiety(for us) will spike up sometimes so don't get too upset. With the situation resolved you'll calm back down soon. Alankay.

[SunnieDebris]

Bluesookie,

I'm sorry that you are so stressed out right now. We all experience setbacks. Like Alan said, it's not your fault. I think that not sleeping is probably making your anxiety and nausea worse. I think that if you could sleep more, those feelings will come down. Can you exercise before bed or take something over the counter, like Benadryl, Valerian root, or magnesium? Or perhaps a progressive relaxation exercise right before bed? Whatever you do, don't judge yourself so harshly. Your loved ones may not understand everything that you are going through, but they love you and just want to help, and see you happy.

[dazza]

When people exclaim their despair toward themselves, I don't think they're ACTUALLY beating themselves up.

I reckon it's more of a frustration for the fact that this f*cking anxiety keeps coming back... time and time again... just when you think you're over it.

Anxiety is very much like a repetitive illness or desease imo.