Question about intimacy

[kasiejuhnay]

Does anyone else get anxiety during or after sex? I have been noticing it the past few days and just wondered. It's mild...but still bothersome. Sorry if its TMI.

[laurandisorder]

Ha! I'd be lucky to be getting any sex at all <--
Not helpful, but this might be;

Sex raises your heart rate, makes you sweaty and can cause changes in breathing (if done right ;)), so symptoms can eventuate during or after sex which might make you seem anxious.

[dazza]

Sometimes a man just wants a cuddle...

LOL

[kasiejuhnay]

Lol I started getting the internal shakiness during and shortly after. Felt like my throat was closing up and I couldn't breathe. :(

[dazza]

Lol I started getting the internal shakiness during and shortly after. Felt like my throat was closing up and I couldn't breathe. :(

Listen.. if you're shaking then he's hit the spot, lol

[randomanxiety]

All jokes aside. I agree with lauren the body sensations you experience during sex mimic a panic attack. For me anything that mimic's an attack can trigger one for me. I avoid anything that can change my temperature too drastically, make my heart rate elevate, or cause me to breath heavy. However having said that for some strange reason sex is not one that triggers it for me. Something as stupid as hot soup or tea, or walking quickly can trigger it right away, but not sex. I begin to think it is because I am distracted at the time. My adivse to you is to try to loose yourself in the moment more, that way your mind is thinking more of what you are doing rather than what you are feeling inside. hope that helps :)

[Dogtime]

If you're in the 'comfort' of your own home, sex should be anxiety free. Perhaps with the exception of performance anxiety if your not comfortable with your partner. Fear actually heightens sexual drive, but only after the reason for the fear as been eliminated.

[kasiejuhnay]

I know the difference between anxiety and him hitting the right spots. This is anxiety. I was not offended by the comment about my thoughts causing all of this. You're right. I was just curious. Maybe I was tense at first and it's not performance anxiety either...we have been on and off for 12 years.

[dazza]

People with health anxiety suffer more where sex is concerned.

The anticipatory excitement and arousal sensations leading up to sex is likely to wake the anxiety watchman - which will freak at these bodily changes and trigger a fear response.

Increased heart rate / increased blood pressure / face flush / tingles / quivvers ;-) / changes in breathing and everything else is likely to ignite the anxiety fuse for sure.

Even if you manage to actually "get stuck in", so to speak, the chances are you'll be lying there worrying about your heart rate and have to stop some time in.

Sex is a tall order for anxiety sufferers, make no mistake.

The poor partners really have to make an effort to understand.

[rcohn20]

Intimacy always makes me really nervous and at times it does give me anxiety if the person I'm dating is really super sexual. I think having an emotional connection and being able to talk openly about what could be causing the anxiety will help a lot.

[dazza]

Intimacy always makes me really nervous and at times it does give me anxiety if the person I'm dating is really super sexual. I think having an emotional connection and being able to talk openly about what could be causing the anxiety will help a lot.

I think you're barking up the wrong tree.

There's a difference between feeling a little nervous and having to endure an anxiety or panic attack - two completely separate issues.

I spent 5 years as a single guy... up until I met my current g/f a couple years back.

I know this sounds vulgar, but during this period I was having more sex than I was hot dinners. I was a complete beast & absolutely revelling in it, lol

Then anxiety disorder struck...

Now I'm lucky if I can manage it once every few weeks. Even then I can feel my effing, anxious mind battling with "I'm gonna have a heart attack"... "Oh no I'm not"... "Oh yes I am"...

It's feckin' hideous. I hardly even think about sex these days, let alone do it.

Mind you, the missus is 7 months pregnant... this doesn't help either, lol

[raggamuffin]

At my worst moments I used to fear sex due to over exertion, heart attack fears...the usual nonsense. But after a while, a bit like with exercise I realized, it's happening lots and i'm not dead. So why not push myself to the limit and see what happens. Few more pains etc but nothing really dangerous. Chest tightness, bit of dizziness etc. The more you get through an anxious episode without anything drastic occurring (the worst maybe a panic attack) the more you should hopefully be able to rationalize situations instead of being driven by emotions. Intimacy with someone is often the best distraction, unless you answer that knock at the door and let anxiety in.

Ed

[jhunter89]

Unless I've just showered, I feel quite uncomfortable engaging in those err activities lol!!

[dazza]

How does it wake the anxiety watchman ? It increases symptoms but as for triggering a fear response it is the reaction with fear that is causing that and that alone

Ok... perhaps a bad choice of words (depends on your attention to detail)

Not necessarily wake, but perhaps up the watchman's level from medium to high level alert?

:-P

[dazza]

Unless I've just showered, I feel quite uncomfortable engaging in those err activities lol!!

Hmmm, that reminds me... kippers for breakfast lmfao

[jhunter89]

Hmmm, that reminds me... kippers for breakfast lmfao

Ergh! That is rank! Hahaha

[dazza]

You know, when you find someone who you really, REALLY... REALLY fancy... washing so regimentally actually becomes less important.

(Yeah, I know that sounds yucky... but it's true)

Unwashed can actually be quite a turn on, lol. I don't mean like a week or month pmsl... just a little... more natural if you like.

Anyway, this convo's going somewhere I perhaps shouldn't be taking it :-D

[jhunter89]

You know, when you find someone who you really, REALLY... REALLY fancy... washing so regimentally actually becomes less important.

(Yeah, I know that sounds yucky... but it's true)

Unwashed can actually be quite a turn on, lol. I don't mean like a week or month pmsl... just a little... more natural if you like.

Anyway, this convo's going somewhere I perhaps shouldn't be taking it :-D

I been with the same fella for nearly 8 years and I'm still like NO I HAVE TO WASH FIRST!!
LOL!

[trinidiva]

I been with the same fella for nearly 8 years and I'm still like NO I HAVE TO WASH FIRST!!
LOL!

I'm the same way. I HAVE to wash first and so does he. I am very particular that way, and it has gotten worse since my anxiety kicked in big time. Also, honestly, I think having anxiety has seriously effected my intimaxy. I enjoy the actual act once engaged in it, but everything leading up to that, I just don't feel motivated, almost repulsed. It isn't my partner, I love him dearly and he performs well and isn't selfish at all .....I sometimes wonder if the meds are causing a problem with my libido. Does anyone else have that problem?

[mellymel]

Trinidiva I have that same exact issue but I'm not on meds. It's frustrating :(

[jhunter89]

I'm the same way. I HAVE to wash first and so does he. I am very particular that way, and it has gotten worse since my anxiety kicked in big time. Also, honestly, I think having anxiety has seriously effected my intimaxy. I enjoy the actual act once engaged in it, but everything leading up to that, I just don't feel motivated, almost repulsed. It isn't my partner, I love him dearly and he performs well and isn't selfish at all .....I sometimes wonder if the meds are causing a problem with my libido. Does anyone else have that problem?

Yep, i am the same, i very rarely feel like it. Not cos I'm not attracted to my partner, I just feel so blah and unattractive. I feel really guilty about it as well :( I am not on meds either... but meds, birth control (which I am on), anxiety and depression can all reduce libido.

[dazza]

dúng lÃ* mình dang c?n thank bác nha

You know, these fuck-witt posts are really starting to get on my danglies...

Fuck off ya sad twat!

[jhunter89]

You know, these fuck-witt posts are really starting to get on my danglies...

Fuck off ya sad twat!

Haha. I think it's a robot.

[jhunter89]

Argh! Another one! Go away freaky hacky robot fuckers