Newtown CT shootings

[MillieH]

My thoughts and prayers are with all the families and friends affected by the Sandy Hook Elementary school shootings. I cannot imagine how hard it is to lose a child. I hope the victims rest in peace.

As a CT resident I feel as I did when the Petit murders were committed. I don't feel safe.

[MrsHowe22]

Miilie I too live in Ct and can't imagine the horror of what these parents are going through.
God Bless them all.

[MillieH]

It's sparking a fight between my boyfriend and I. He says "how can you say it's a gun issue when most people with guns don't go around murdering others?" And conversely I say "how can YOU say it's a mental illness issue when most people with mental illnesses don't go around murdering others?"

Either way this shooting is just evil incarnate. Such senseless violence.

[Getting Well]

I'm limiting the amount of news regarding the shooting. Every time I even think of those innocent little ones, my heart hurts. In time, I' sure I'll hear all the details but for now, I'm practicing one technique to minimize anxiety: avoid, when possible, situations that promote fear. I'm not feeling the fear, but knowit seeps into my psyche. The whole thing is just so very, very sad...not only for the victims and families but for the perpetrator. Can't help but remembering that he has parents...I am one of those...and to be in their position is also more evil and more sadness!! I have no comprehension of how people endure such circumstances. Keep thinking that somehow light will overcome the darkness.

[littlelightning]

I am about 1500 miles from CT, but it might as well be my own town. Everyone here are totally beside themselves. Upon the news, we all stopped what we were doing - shock, sadness, & prayfully hoping the news was wrong. A lot of tears have been shed here for all affected there.

I watched my 3 year old son sleep so peacefully last night as I just couldn't sleep.

We must be more kind with people, to be more astute to people's serious needs for help, to be willing to be involved. Because of events like this, we must think about the root causes of these horrific acts against the most innocent. How often do we choose to turn a blind eye to the clues. Instead, we feel better about taking the easy route, convincing ourselves that we have done them a favor by not acknowledging their need for help. So why should we care for the weak? Because the price of apathy is too high.

Thank you to all the teachers out there that care for our children everyday. You are a treasure.

May God tenderly carry those precious children home. And may God hold those left behind as they weep.

And, we weep along side you all.

[MillieH]

I have always disliked the notion that it takes a tragedy to band people together. But it is a hard lesson to learn otherwise I suppose. My father passed away when I was 1, so I learned at a very early age that loved ones can be taken away in an instant. I tell my family I love them every time I see them.

[littlelightning]

Millie, I'm sorry that you had a tough lesson so early in life - I can not imagine the difficulties you faced. I suppose I would be called a survivor of one of those tragedies. I know the pain of losing your loved one and surviving yourself. It happened when I was a young adult, but really we were still just kids - about 20. I have done well in some ways and not so good in other ways. It changes you forever. But , for every day you can look yourself in the mirror and say "yes" I will do good for others, is another day of healing. But then it happens again, and those wounds begin to hurt again. I do not have the answers, just more questions and grief for all the families and teachers, friends and neighbors. I'm just so very sorry they have to go through this.

[MillieH]

Thank you, I'm sorry for your loss as well. While time doesn't quite heal the wound it does diminish it. I used to live in constant fear of losing my mother and brother, but eventually I had to throw my hands up and admit it's not in my control. Did / do you feel the same?

I hope that the families of the victims receive adequate grief counseling. All we can do now is help them heal. It is not our beliefs that make us good, it is our behavior.

[littlelightning]

Thank you. I did, & do, still fear losing another loved one. I had a fear of losing my husband before my son was born, but now the thought of losing my son is more overwhelming. I don't let myself carry those thoughts beyond the first notion. It is a pain deep in side that could drop me to my knees if I let it go. So, I don't. I stop whatever is triggering the fear and simply say "yes, I love you deeply". And then I distract myself to something positive or find something to do for someone.

[littlelightning]

Also, Yes, grief counseling is so important. I know that now. We didn't get any really to speak of. And, the people you would normally want to turn to just aren't capable of helping in the way you will really need. Of course, they are grieving in their own way too. I know now that you have to get help because if you don't the grief will show up later. It can be crippling. So, yes, we need the embrace of our community and professional grief counseling. I pray they all have a chance to get counseling.