I dont like my life anymore.

[Lighter]

I feel like I'm trapped in a dark well and nobody knows I'm down there. I havnt always been depressed, so in the last couple of years I have noticed my depression getting severe. I have nobody to talk to about it, my parents won't understand. I'm suppose to leave for the army in a month but I've been smoking because of my depression so I would fail a drug test, I've been avoiding my recruiter and lying to my parents, I don't want to go into the army anymore it was my dads dream and now I'm going to get kicked out.. There's so much in my life that I wish was different, I don't like who I am anymore and I'm constantly thinking about hurting myself. I'm scar

[Lighter]

I'm scared and don't know what to do with my life, what to do or how to tell my parents I'm depressed and don't want the army anymore, I don't know what to tell my recruiter. I sleep all day and watch tv all night I can't help it. I just want to be healthy again and get on with my life but my depression is overwhelming me. My family will be ashamed if me and lose all respect for me and probably disown me. Please, is there anyone I could talk to that could help guide me or give me advice..

[hellopleasedtomeeyou]

Hey Lighter,

first of all, i'm sorry this is happening to you. However, I must say, I do not think the military is any place for a depressed person to be. You will be surrounded by things that can trigger depressive thoughts all of the time. Also, you will be in possession of live ammunition, which makes it easier to hurt yourself. And finally, the military is not known for being supportive of counseling. Your fellow troops will not be willing to listen to your problems. I have to say, I do not think this is a good idea for you...do you have any other career plans besides the military? because I understand if you think your life is finished if you're not enlisted...but that's not true. what other options do you have?

hope you feel better

[Lighter]

I'm not suicidal. I wouldn't kill myself. And I'm sure half the army is depressed so I don't think it would matter much anyway. And no, I do not have any idea what I'm going to do, as far as I know my parents are going to kick me out. This is why my life has been so horrible the last two years, I don't know where I'm going to end up after I tell my family..

[hellopleasedtomeeyou]

I'm not suicidal. I wouldn't kill myself. And I'm sure half the army is depressed so I don't think it would matter much anyway. And no, I do not have any idea what I'm going to do, as far as I know my parents are going to kick me out. This is why my life has been so horrible the last two years, I don't know where I'm going to end up after I tell my family..

wait..so have you decided you will not join the army now? or are you still unsure?

[Lighter]

In a perfect world I wish I could leave and rejoin later, when I'm ready. I do want the army, it's the only thing I have, but my depression needs to get better, I need to work out and quit smoking.i need to get healthy. But to answer your question even if I did want to I couldn't because of me and smoking weed.

[hellopleasedtomeeyou]

In a perfect world I wish I could leave and rejoin later, when I'm ready. I do want the army, it's the only thing I have, but my depression needs to get better, I need to work out and quit smoking.i need to get healthy. But to answer your question even if I did want to I couldn't because of me and smoking weed.

if this is the case, then I think you just need to focus on getting better now. Make that your mission for the time being. It sounds like you would struggle to hold down even a menial job at the moment (though I don't know you, so I can't say for sure), so being an active member of the armed forces isn't smart at this point in time.

take the foreseeable future to work on your mental health and get better. Then you can think about long-term life plans, when you're in a healthy place and can make well-informed decisions.

[Lighter]

It's not easy to think positive right now, all I feel is hopeless.

[Azuluis]

Quite an emberassing one ,will cause by more of depression and unsuccessful in the committed task. But thinking may change your life a lot.