University- anxious!!

[emi]

Hi everyone, this is my first time posting but really could do with some help.

I've been suffering from anxiety for along time now, and over the past year or so it's gotten really really bad. I'm in an emotionally abusive and controlling relationship and lots of problems with home- my mum is far from the easiest person, and we've had a lot of problems since she was pretty cruel and controlling of me as a child. Also I grew up pretty poor, not much to eat, etc and have been working for the past year to be able to fund myself to go to Uni. Despite all odds, I managed it and got in to do an Anthropology degree.

But as my anxiety has got worse, and my mum kicked me out during the start of term because there wasn't enough space in the house for me, my brother and her (2 small bedroom flat) I managed to find somewhere with student loan luckily. I've had A LOT of problems going in to classes, having panic attacks and not physically being able to actually enter the room itself. I've spoken to my tutors regularly about this, told them the situation. Then four weeks ago I received an email (I didn't have internet and couldn't get access to it) saying I was on probation, and if I didn't reply in two weeks I'd be 'deemed no longer a student'.

I've sent an email today explaining my situation and how Ive tried to get help but they haven't replied as of yet. Its been 2 weeks since the reply deadline. I'm now very stressed and anxious that they'll kick me out. I've finished all my essays in time and caught up with reading for each class I missed, so its not like I can't catch up.

Anyone else had a similar problem?

Thanks for listening!

[alankay]

When I was a freshman in college it got to the point where I could not sit through class due to panic attacks. No matter how I tried I could not "wait them out" as I was encouraged to do by my psychiatrist. We tried Imipramine(no ssri's back then) to no avail. I got to the point where I told him I didn't see how I could continue and this was killing me as I badly wanted to finish college. He saw I tried my very best and explained although some patients can tolerate the worst anxiety, see it doesn't kill, drive them mad, etc, they can eventually see their anxiety diminish or reduced to a low level and be OK but some just cannot. He started me on ativan(lorazepam) 1mg and I was able to complete the last 3 years with a beta blocker added for speech class. I know in the UK they have demonized benzos like ativan(thanks to Dr. Ashton) but if an ssri doesn't control your panic attacks, ask about lorazepam or maybe some other med like tamazepam, clorazepate, etc. Docs have other meds they may like to try but if you cannot tolerate the anxiety and have really tried, ask about them just for classes. Benzos are not the problem, just liberal rx'ing of them back in the 60's and 70's. Ask if that's true. Try to find a doc that will rx them and monitor you on them. For PD(Panic Disorder) this is absolutely not unusual(just a pity). Some get relief via an ssri, CBT, others need a benzo. There is a time and place for these meds and debilitating anxiety is one of them. You deserve a chance to continue college. IMHO. Alankay

[j2005]

Counseling via CBT will be very helpful for you.

Take small steps...what is one thing you can do to improve your life this week? Do it.

Meditate and breathe deeply twice a day.