Group Therapy - Constructive thoughts

[funkstarsista]

Hello all,

This week we are going to work on and improve self defeating thoughts & self talk and change them to constructive, helpful thoughts and self talk.

This week keep a diary with the following headings on the top of each page -

1. Situation/Event 2. My thoughts/self talk 3. Are they constructive or self-defeating? 4. If self-defeating, what would be constructive?

Next time you are anxious or stressed use the 4 steps above. If you become stuck on number 4, post to the group and we will help you come up with some constructive thoughts.

This is about learning a new skill and creating a new habit. At first it helps to write it out, in time you will automatically challenge self-defeating thoughts.


Bonus Exercise - PART B -

Monitor your thoughts/self talk in the triggering event for the following thinking habits and see if you can identify when you are using these thinking habits:

* Mind Reading - assuming you know what someone else is thinking e.g. "they hate me"
* Catastrophizing - "things always go bad for me, my life is fucked!"
* Labelling - "I'm a loser!"
* Over-generalising - using words like "always, never, no-one, everyone"
* Fortune telling - can you really see the future?
* Rule saying - "must, should, have to" (creating pressure and unrealistic expectations)
* Black & white thinking - "I messed it up, so I am a failure"

You can do this in private or post to the group the triggering situation/event and we can help each other to identify the Thinking Habits listed above, is it constructive/self defeating? Re-write the thinking script so it is helpful, constructive and realistic.

Cheers!

:)

[funkstarsista]

Some extra Hints for challenging self-defeating self talk:

“A more accurate way of seeing this is …” (Look for alternatives.)
“That’s not true because…” (Look at the evidence.)
“A more likely outcome is … and I can do … to deal with it.” (Consider the implications.)
" What evidence backs up this thought?
" Are there any other ways that I could look at this situation?
" What is the worst thing that could happen? What is the best things that could happen? What is most likely to happen?
" Is thinking this way helping me to feel good or to achieve my goals?

Examples of constructive statements to get you started:

I am a failure if I lose my job ---> I may fail to hold this job but I myself am not a failure
I am not good enough ---> No one is perfect. There are some things I am good at, and who cares if I am not good at everything
I made a mistake ---> This is an opportunity for me to learn
No one bothers to talk to me ---> I can try to open the communication channels with others
I’ll never get all of this done. It’s too much for me ---> I’ve done more that this before. I can do it. Or…I can reschedule my priorities or do it tomorrow
Everyone will think I am an idiot ---> I don’t know what others will think. Why should I worry, as they are probably not taking too much notice of me.
I can’t stand it. ----> I don’t like it but I can put with it without making it worse.

[funkstarsista]

Where are all the people who were keen on a group session?

[vanessac]

Well said I'm going to give it a go :), and thank you!