justconfused
12-10-2012, 12:45 PM
While I used to have anxiety attacks, I feel now that the depression that comes along with it has really taken over. It's complicated to explain, but I'm going to try because I need to see what is going on. First of all I'll start by saying I don't know what the depression could be from. I have a supportive family, never been through a divorce in my childhood, never abused, and am only 19. The fear seems extremely irrational to people that I try to explain it to, but to me it is so real. If this gets kind of long I apologize.
It doesn't matter where I am I always feel this dreadful feeling that just makes me not enjoy anything. It goes away slightly if I get occupied, but ever so slightly. I'm not exaggerating when I say this.. I cry and tell myself I should've done things differently because now I won't have the chance to do anything. It literally feels like I'm just not going to be around long. I don't know why and can't explain it. I'm healthy been to the doctor so many times for tests and I just can't shake this. Everytime I think of the future or even the next day my head tells me there's no point because it won't come, but it always does. Just a few minutes ago I broke down thinking of all the things I'll never get to experience because it feels like I won't make it. I feel like people will try to get me locked away for talking like this, but I have never wanted to commit suicide. Isn't depression usually accompanied by suicidal thoughs? Rather than my thoughts of being scared of it? Does any of this make sense?
It doesn't matter where I am I always feel this dreadful feeling that just makes me not enjoy anything. It goes away slightly if I get occupied, but ever so slightly. I'm not exaggerating when I say this.. I cry and tell myself I should've done things differently because now I won't have the chance to do anything. It literally feels like I'm just not going to be around long. I don't know why and can't explain it. I'm healthy been to the doctor so many times for tests and I just can't shake this. Everytime I think of the future or even the next day my head tells me there's no point because it won't come, but it always does. Just a few minutes ago I broke down thinking of all the things I'll never get to experience because it feels like I won't make it. I feel like people will try to get me locked away for talking like this, but I have never wanted to commit suicide. Isn't depression usually accompanied by suicidal thoughs? Rather than my thoughts of being scared of it? Does any of this make sense?