Insomnia

[kasiejuhnay]

I am so tired of not being able to sleep. I can be so tired, go right to sleep, then wake up with anxiety an hour later and never be able to go back to sleep. I have tried everything! Sleepy time tea, lavender, meditation...nothing is working.

[sunnythinks]

This happens to me a lot. There have been periods when I just can't sleep for the life of me. Nothing I do seems to help, either. In those moments, I stay up and write about it. Honestly, it may not help you sleep, but it might help your anxiety. Eventually, your body will return to sleep.

It can be frustrating, though! Especially when you really want to sleep...

[nf1234]

Are you taking any medications for anxiety?

[dazza]

Since developing elevated anxiety, I've had hell and all trouble sleeping.

Riddled with fear, coupled with being pumped with adrenaline and all kinds of whacky shit going on in the body while in panic dictates that you're in for a rough night... full stop.

Anxiety & panic, in their prime, ranges from hard to impossible to control.
All sufferers go through particularly tough stages.

For reasons you have previously mentioned on this forum (and I'm so very sorry to hear of), I'm not surprised that you in particular can't sleep, poppet.

You know you absolutely must follow the typical advice in order to start or aid your recovery.
Exercise / eat healthy / use therapy / use natural calming aids / use medication where necessary, etc. You HAVE to PUSH yourself real hard to make strategic use of these anxiety beating tools, harder than you've ever pushed yourself... WAY beyond the boundaries of your normal comfort zones.

As a longer term rule, you must calm your mind and passify your major anxieties. While they persist - so will all your problems.
As a shorter term rule, I would seriously suggest looking at some of the more potent medication - such as benzos, which are highly likely to at least help with your sleeping.
Some of the medication is designed specifically to aid sleeping.

You probably already know all of the other sleeping aid recommendations (no caffeine / cool room etc.) - so I won't bother repeating them here.

[dazza]

By the way, not that this will help... BUT...

Through experience, I can tell you categorically that a lack of sleep or tiredness is a major, I reapeat, MAJOR contributor to anxiety.
This fact perpetuates the anxiety spinning wheel, since you can't sleep because of anxiety, so you feel more anxiety because of tiredness.

A very bitter catch-22.

Anxiety feeds off EVERYTHING bad or unstable in your mind and body - including sluggishness / tiredness / fatigue / general grogginess / depression.

You'll be making your situation worse by not sleeping.

I say go see a doctor and get some sleeping aids asap.

Personally, I don't recommend sleeping tablets (like sominex and nytol) - they often give you one hell of a hangover-type feeling the next day... which obviously attracts anxiety.

[MainerMikeBrown]

Getting more physical exercise during the day may help you sleep better at night and feel more calm and rested.

[mw0929]

Getting more physical exercise during the day may help you sleep better at night and feel more calm and rested.

This usually helps me to get rest. If that doesn't work, I take melatonin.

[mikejwatson]

What helped me recover from intense anxiety, including sleepless nights, was to begin to accept how I felt, rather than fight it.

Anxiety comes for a reason. It's the body's way of telling us that something ain't right. It's so important to accept where we are and how we feel right now, and that we don't know what to do about it. If we really knew what we were doing we wouldn't be feeling lost in the first place.

Recovery can really begin once we accept that we're lost, now. And acceptance is only possible if we stop fighting ourselves.

Trust in the wisdom of your body. Why are you waking up anxious in the middle of the night? What is it about your life that's not right? Where are you off course currently? Are you trying to push away any difficult feelings you have about your life circumstances?

Very best wishes and support at this difficult time.

[kasiejuhnay]

Ok...maybe if I just type all this and put it out there it might help. I have suffered with anxiety since I was 15. I will never forget my first panic attack. I kept it pretty much under control until I was 20 and my first love left me. I was feeling the exact same way that I find myself feeling now. I ended up in the hospital for a week and was diagnosed with a panic disorder. Over the next few years I took Lexapro, and began to feel like myself again. I started taking smaller doses and finally got to a point where my doctor told me I wasn't taking enough to make much of a difference anyway so I stopped it. Around this time my grandpa passed away. This through my mom into a deep depression centered around anxiety and panic attacks. My mom saw several doctors several times a month and had several surgeries over the next couple of years because she insisted "something was wrong with her". Last year...8 days after my 26th birthday...my mom was found dead by a deadly combination of antidepressants, and pain killers. That was November 2011. I spent the next year in a daze, only able to eat half of what I used to...I dropped 50 lbs and lost a lot of my friends. I was living with my grandpa at the time...I'm the only child and only grandchild...so I knew my grandpa and I needed each other during this time. A few months after my moms passing, my grandpa found himself a girlfriend who was in her 30s...maybe 40s...he was 80. She was a drug addict, and stole lots of things from me. My grandpa and I got in a huge fight about it, and he disowned me and my uncle...his only two living relatives. I moved out...into my own apartment. About a month later my grandpa got sick...his health continued to decline and he ended up passing away in October. Two weeks before he died he apologized to me and told me how much he loved me. I got extreme anxiety at his funeral and had to walk out. I don't remember the service or what he looked like. Over the next few weeks, I was cool, calm and collected because my uncle was here a lot and we were dealing with the estate. When the will was read I cried because I felt like that was the end of my family. We had an estate auction and sold all of my moms, grandpas, and grandmas belongings that we didnt want and didnt have room for. The house(my home...the safest place I ever knew) sits empty and for sale. I cry so easily and have just started this the past two weeks or so. On the one year anniversary of my moms death...I decided to sit at home all day and feel sorry for myself and pretty much forget anything or anyone else existed. That morning I got a phone call from my now new employer asking for me to come in for an interview. I couldn't help but think it was a gift from my mom...this job is actually my dream job. What I have wanted to do for a long time. My yoga instructor said she thinks it was a sign that it's time to move on. I have been to a counselor but that just seemed to make the anxiety worse. I use incense, essential oils, yoga, meditation...none of it is working for me. I do not want to take the medicine because of what happened to my mom. When I'm anxious my uncle is wonderful at talking me down...but I can't continue to call and wake him up at 2:00 am. My daddy doesn't understand...only one person did and she isn't here anymore. I didn't celebrate Christmas last year and really don't feel like it this year. I absolutely hate change and I feel like nothing is the same as it was a year ago which makes me freak out more. So there you have it...how do I calm down and live a normal life again?

[SunnieDebris]

Hon, I am so sorry that you have suffered so much loss, and at such a young age. You must have the strength of Job, even with an anxiety disorder. I know you're wary of meds because of what happened with your mom. And while I'm sure her death was accidental, it doesn't mean that this will happen to you. If it was me, or someone that I loved, I would say consider taking the Lexapro. You've already proved that you can get better and stop taking it at some future time. Don't punish yourself by refusing an otherwise safe and effective treatment. I am so happy for you that you got your dream job. Surely someone was smiling down on you, and to think it was your mother is so touching. I hope that you were able to get to sleep. I wish you nothing but the best.

[kasiejuhnay]

Thank you so much. It hasn't been easy but you guys here on the forum have been a big help. :)

[mw0929]

You are so very strong for all you have endured. My heart goes out to you for all the suffering you have gone through. I know it's hard to get past your moms passing but it is possible to safely take medication. Just voice your concerns to your doctor so you can work out a plan best suited for your situation.

[Kalita]

Oh Kasie... when I read what you have been thru I just wanted to hug you!! When I was young I was forced to grow up very quickly. Overnight in fact. One minute I had, what I thought was, a normal life, and then my father committed suicide. The months following his death my mother attempted suicide 3 times. Each time I found her, got her medical attention and took over caring for her. When I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression I fought so hard to not end up on medication. I knew that my dad used it as a means to end his life, and then I watched as my mom had her stomach pumped after she tried OD'ing on antidepressants and alcohol. I was so determined to not become like them. But eventually I came to realize that in order for me to get better I'd have to take some form of medication. I didn't do it lightly though. I told my dr of my concerns and we discussed ways of medicating safely. I can honestly tell you, I'm happy I did it. I couldn't have done so without the help of a caring dr. And it has made a difference. I still have my ups and downs. I'm not 100% yet. And I suffer severely from insomnia. But I continue to see my dr and psychologist and they help me to manage the best I can. And I will be honest. The lack of sleep was making my anxiety really bad so I'm on Valium for a while, just to help me sleep. Talk to your dr. Tell them every concern you have. And if needs be, find a psychologist too. They can help you learn new techniques to relax and to cope thru the hard times. And whenever you need someone to talk to late at night, you know that each of us are here on this forum, ready to chat!! ((((((Hugs)))))) And just know that you are being watched over from above. :)

[kasiejuhnay]

I do :) thank you so much. I FINALLY was able to fall asleep last night! I slept a full 8 hours...maybe more because I don't remember what time I fell asleep. I woke up with mild anxiety a couple of times but I just checked the boards, and occupied myself until I got sleepy again. Which was only a matter of about 15 minutes. I am so sorry that you had to grow up that fast. I did as well. My uncle tells me that since I was the only child I spent most of my time around adults, I learned about adult worrying and problems early in life from listening to adult conversations. My parents divorced when I was 7. It was just me and my mom and I was like her best friend and she was mine. I still had a relationship with my daddy...spent time with him several times a week and thank God for him every single day. I can't imagine having to go through what all you have been through. I watched my best friend have a seizure this past summer. He called me and asked me to come over that day...I almost didnt but ended up going anyway...it was just us two there and he went into a seizure right in front of me. At the time his parents didnt exactly love me so I didn't know what I was going to tell them about me being there randomly In the middle of the afternoon. Now I want to keep him in a bubble. His seizure was caused by drinking too much alcohol...he has cut down a lot but still drinks. My mind is filled with what if I had not have been there...what happens if it happens again and I am not there. If you ever need to talk please message me. That goes for everyone that reads my posts. I know things will get better for me...they just have to...and things will get better for you all too :)