wulf
12-08-2012, 09:05 PM
Hey all. I wanted to post a quick story of my recovery in hopes that this inspires and helps some of you through your anxiety.
5 years ago I was 25, and was suffering from the very worst of my anxiety condition since it developed when I was 20. I had been single for years, didn't drive, lived with my parents, spent all day on my computer and it was a struggle to leave my house. I took the train twice a day and usually had a panic attack both times. I would fear passing out, vomiting, going crazy, pissing myself, and so on. None of these things ever happened even after thousands of panic attacks, but the fear kept it all very real. I had almost no friends and would never go out to social events. I was painfully awkward and shy, and couldn't hold conversations with anyone but my family. Social anxiety had me in fear of going to the mailbox just in case I were to run into someone outside.
At the time, I was completely hopeless. My dad had suffered from anxiety since he was 20 as well, but it stayed well into his 50's and he still suffers from regular panic attacks. Learning this was sort of a nail in the coffin for me, as I was convinced that it wasn't possible for me to get over this.
Flash forward to today. I am 30, and have held a very successful career that I love. I own a house, and have been driving for 4 years. I am still an introverted person, but do great in social situations; I am witty, charismatic, humorous and it all can happen naturally without fighting the constant fear. Last week I flew to LA alone on a business trip, rented a car, drove around the city, and met with clients. 5 years ago, I wouldn't have been able to do this even if someone literally offered me a million dollars. Simply the prospect of having to get onto a plane would have caused panic attacks for weeks.
In my early 20's I had been on dozens of antidepressants, and none of them did much to help. Some numbed the anxiety, but they also numbed pleasure and happiness as well. That's not to say that they won't work for anyone, but they certainly didn't work for me. I spent thousands of dollars on traditional 'talk' therapy. This didn't help much either. The therapists were convinced that this all stemmed from one point in my life, but it didn't. Nothing seemed to help.
So what helped me in the end? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I purchased a few good books on the subject, read them a dozen times, and LIVED CBT. If I had to say what the most useful lesson from CBT is, it absolutely has to be turning off the negative self-talk. It took half a year of doing daily CBT lessons and trying to catch every single conscious thought, but when you change those fundamental "you're going to have a panic attack" to "you're doing great!" thoughts, you are almost guaranteed to get over your anxiety.
I am not 100% better. I still have anxious moments, and I still have to talk myself down from particularly stressful situations. However, I actually feel going through anxiety has made me more capable than the average person in handling tense situations. To the average person, feeling extreme amounts of stress is unfamiliar and frightening. To people like us, it's familiar and we know it's going to end. When I used to have panic attacks, taking a lorazepam was my 'tool' to get over it. Now, well practiced breathing exercises and self-talk are far more effective, if I even have to use them.
I'm convinced CBT is the cure. Anxiety stems from irrational fears. It doesn't matter if you have one fear or thousands; CBT can and will train your brain not to be afraid. It's really as simple as that.
Anyway, I just wanted to share my story and would be happy to respond to any questions. Feel free to PM me and i'll help you best I can. 5 years ago I didn't think it was possible to get rid of anxiety. Sitting here now I feel like I've been given a second chance at life!
5 years ago I was 25, and was suffering from the very worst of my anxiety condition since it developed when I was 20. I had been single for years, didn't drive, lived with my parents, spent all day on my computer and it was a struggle to leave my house. I took the train twice a day and usually had a panic attack both times. I would fear passing out, vomiting, going crazy, pissing myself, and so on. None of these things ever happened even after thousands of panic attacks, but the fear kept it all very real. I had almost no friends and would never go out to social events. I was painfully awkward and shy, and couldn't hold conversations with anyone but my family. Social anxiety had me in fear of going to the mailbox just in case I were to run into someone outside.
At the time, I was completely hopeless. My dad had suffered from anxiety since he was 20 as well, but it stayed well into his 50's and he still suffers from regular panic attacks. Learning this was sort of a nail in the coffin for me, as I was convinced that it wasn't possible for me to get over this.
Flash forward to today. I am 30, and have held a very successful career that I love. I own a house, and have been driving for 4 years. I am still an introverted person, but do great in social situations; I am witty, charismatic, humorous and it all can happen naturally without fighting the constant fear. Last week I flew to LA alone on a business trip, rented a car, drove around the city, and met with clients. 5 years ago, I wouldn't have been able to do this even if someone literally offered me a million dollars. Simply the prospect of having to get onto a plane would have caused panic attacks for weeks.
In my early 20's I had been on dozens of antidepressants, and none of them did much to help. Some numbed the anxiety, but they also numbed pleasure and happiness as well. That's not to say that they won't work for anyone, but they certainly didn't work for me. I spent thousands of dollars on traditional 'talk' therapy. This didn't help much either. The therapists were convinced that this all stemmed from one point in my life, but it didn't. Nothing seemed to help.
So what helped me in the end? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I purchased a few good books on the subject, read them a dozen times, and LIVED CBT. If I had to say what the most useful lesson from CBT is, it absolutely has to be turning off the negative self-talk. It took half a year of doing daily CBT lessons and trying to catch every single conscious thought, but when you change those fundamental "you're going to have a panic attack" to "you're doing great!" thoughts, you are almost guaranteed to get over your anxiety.
I am not 100% better. I still have anxious moments, and I still have to talk myself down from particularly stressful situations. However, I actually feel going through anxiety has made me more capable than the average person in handling tense situations. To the average person, feeling extreme amounts of stress is unfamiliar and frightening. To people like us, it's familiar and we know it's going to end. When I used to have panic attacks, taking a lorazepam was my 'tool' to get over it. Now, well practiced breathing exercises and self-talk are far more effective, if I even have to use them.
I'm convinced CBT is the cure. Anxiety stems from irrational fears. It doesn't matter if you have one fear or thousands; CBT can and will train your brain not to be afraid. It's really as simple as that.
Anyway, I just wanted to share my story and would be happy to respond to any questions. Feel free to PM me and i'll help you best I can. 5 years ago I didn't think it was possible to get rid of anxiety. Sitting here now I feel like I've been given a second chance at life!